Shoes off policy in the home

[Metrobaby]

I was just wondering if anyone has this policy in their home. If so, when people come to visit do you ask them to remove their shoes too? And if you visit other people's homes, do you take off your shoes or wait to be asked?

This is really odd & another example of what people consider "normal". I was brought up in a house where people didn't wear shoes indoors. I never questioned it & automatically took my shoes off when going to someone else's house. When I got married I just continued what is my "normal" custom in my own home. I did enforce it more when we moved to our second house & had new carpets all through.

I suppose it's a question of common sense. I don't "demand" that people remove shoes but I do expect them to. When we had the bathroom man or the insurance man round we wouldn't expect them to remove their shoes, but mother visiting for the weekend we would. Visiting children of any description DEFINITELY shoes off!!!

I find it weird that people feel comfortable indoors wearing shoes!

I loathe wearing shoes, and have often found myself halfway to the swings/driving to shops/leaving the gym in barefeet and only really notice when other people comment..

Dh & dd take their shoes off at home and most people who visit do too, although would never ask an adult to if they didn't notice the shoe mountain (no racks here )

Maybe people who know me should offer a footbath when I visit, just in case..

However, I have a Thai SiL and would NEVER dream of offending her or her family by wearing shoes over the threshold.

Ooh Twink! Would it still be ok to CAT to you, about Thailand? I spoke to you about it months ago, but just want to make sure you are still ok with it?

I'm Chinese and am wondering how I can get my visiting in-laws to remove their shoes when indoors.

There's a shoe rack by my door when they come in and DH, DS and I don't wear shoes indoors except house slippers but my Irish in-laws don't seem to to notice this and trail all through my home with their shoes on.

I remember that when they visited us when we were living abroad, they removed their shoes but they seem to have forgotten now we are back in Belfast.

How can I delicately broach this subject (again!)? Also SIL has made it a point to tell me she hates her feet so doesn't like taking off her shoes.

what about having some slippers there for them Pam and just politely request it? Or else print A HUGE SIGN so it's the first thing they see when they come in

A few questions:

1. Don't your feet get cold? Mine do, even in sock feet.
2. Don't your socks wear out quickly?
3. How do you get slippers to fit all different sizes of feet?
4. Don't you find it a pain if you have more than one young child to keep putting on and taking off thier shoes? (Especially if you have a garden that they like to run into and out of?)

I can see the principle, but just hate having cold feet! Also I know someone who keeps telling me how she thinks I should have a "shoes off" policy, so it rather colours my view of it.

my friend has a shoes off upstairs policy = downstairs is veneer flooring so easy to clean, upstairs is carpeted. Last but one time I was there I left my shoes on the back porch - unfortunately my friend forgot this when she was throwing the bowl of water out the bedroom window that she had used for nappy changing her baby!!!!! shoes were dowsed and I had to borrow a pair of flip flops from her. Strange how people can be so fastidious about something tho not about others!

The thing is Jennifersofia, having to take their shoes off stops them running in and out of the house!

jennifersofia,

1. Don't your feet get cold? Mine do, even in sock feet.

No, but then again I do live in Florida. In the winter when it's cooler I tend to wear socks not barefeet, but I'm not cold in socks either.

2. Don't your socks wear out quickly?

No, I'm either walking on carpet or ceramic tile, neither of which is a rough enough surface to wear out socks.

3. How do you get slippers to fit all different sizes of feet?

N/A

4. Don't you find it a pain if you have more than one young child to keep putting on and taking off thier shoes? (Especially if you have a garden that they like to run into and out of?)

Well they don't run into and out of the garden. We do have to wear shoes on the grass (snakes and such), but if we're going out to play putting on shoes is one of the things we do to get ready to go outside.

Does that help?

We don't take our shoes off, but I do put Bob in his Bobux in winter and bare feet in summer, because it's better for him. I am a flute teacher and I wouldn't dream of asking my pupils to take their shoes off, it's one of the costs and risks of doing business for me, and they won't be doing exams in bare feet. I also tell them to practise at home in shoes or at least slippers so they don't feel all off balance when playing in public.

I do get wild at my MIL putting her feet up with shoes on though. I don't vacuum my sofa as often as my floor. Still ds has just started standing on her sofa with his trainers on and I've left him as my revenge.

I have some Eastern European friends and they always put their slippers on outside the front door and leave their shoes outside. They don't make me take off my shoes presumable because they have cold wooden floors and I haven't brought my slippers.

That's fine Lou !

alexsmum it s becasue I am always right

natch

on the ferry back from france there were lots of people with no shoes on reading boks in the foyer things witht their bare feet up on cofee tables

euuuuuuuw

We have house slippers for indoor use and regular shoes for outside so we put on our shoes when we go out and change back to slippers for indoors.

The slippers keep your feet off the bare floor and keeps your feet warm (can be supplemented with socks in winter)

Besides I also think that by allowing your feet to breathe everyday (shoeless), it creates less problems for your feet - odours etc

At the end of the day, it's really what you're used to and what you're brought up with but increasingly in the West, we're finding that with proper central heating, wooden floors, underfloor heating, more and more people are finding it easier to take their shoes off indoors - it's easier to keep the house clean, your wooden floors don't get scratched! (it's apparently quite common in the US?)

Only just seen this one and had to comment.

I loathe feet, in particular smelly feet. I would die if somebody came into my home, took their shoes off and I got a whiff of stinky toes. I make DH go upstairs and wash his feet when he gets in from work.

So I am definitely in the camp of doing whatever you are most comfortable with - keep em on if it contains the smell is what I say

Years ago I visited my grandparents for the first time (I was about 20), I was totally bemused when my DG got completely het up because I didn't take my shoes off - they are from Yorkshire and I am from South Africa, definitely a cultural thing IMO.

I am so glad someone has brought this up. I came from a background where if you wanted to wear shoes inside you could or not. There was a door mat and if you had been playing outside then you probably took your shoes off. But as for guests....no way would you ask them to take their shoes off!!! The carpets you provide in your house are there for both you and your guests and to 'insult' your guests by presuming either that they have dirty shoes and don't know how to wipe their feet or that they are not worthy of wlaking on your carpets is so wierd. This is not strictly a SE thing. In Putney where I lived, no-one took their shoes off in your house (unless they wanted to) but in SE London where I live now, everyone does. I feel very strange sitting at a coffee morning, 10 grown women in socks!!! Certainly if someone asked me to, for cultural or cleanliness reasons, I would take them off, but I would never ask as if I invite someone to my home, I invite them shoes and all!!!!

Or I could just seal myself in with my pristine carpets!

I would certainly not ask anyone to remove their shoes unless they were caked in mud, quite honestly I would expect them to offer to take their shoes off if they were muddy. I really don't think I have ever been to a house and been asked to take my shoes off! All very odd.

I understand (from this thread) that lots of people do this, and I'm sure your friends and family are OK with it. Have been trying to work out why I am so surprised about it. And I think it's because the way I was brought up was that when you invite someone into your home, it's your job to make them comfortable ? as the host, or hostess, you put their needs before your own (like serving them first). So I'd never dream of asking people to take their shoes off. This doesn't mean I think people who do are bad hosts, just that clearly family rules differ. I do think it's quite odd though!

do none of you that cite children crawling as the reason for no shoes have children who crawl round the garden? Both ds1 and now ds2 have loved just crawling round on the grass and so they pick up all sorts of things - mud, leaves etc - much more than would be on my carpet (which is beige ). Ds1 (2.5) runs in and out from the garden all day, so it would be really impractical if I had to put his shoes on and off every time.

I go barefoot all the time whether in the house or in the garden, so I'm the worse culprit for bringing mud into the house.

Thanks Twink, will get onto it

We don't have a policy. My baby friends all take their shoes off as a matter of course and some other friends do too. I'm not too hung up about it as most people do wipe their feet and they are not tramping around the house. I'm a shoes off girl myself though.

I would love to have a sign on the door that reads 'PLEASE WIPE YOUR FEET BEFORE ENTERING'. Have been tempted to institute a no-shoes policy as all of dh's family have a missing gene - the wiping of the feet gene. And having a no-shoes policy would compensate for the missing gene.

I have no less that 4 DOORMATS and am now considering the addition of a hall runner as dh's family just waltz in without wiping their feet. Dh's sister has a horse and if she comes from the farm she's mucky. It's just plain rude. MIL and FIl are the same and they often behave as if they are a cut-above. Another example of how money does not equal manners. Dh is the same though he is improving. I realise I sound completely anal but hey-ho....I sometimes listen for him wiping his feet when he comes home from work and if I don't hear a vigorous wiping I go nuts. Just the kind of welcome he wants after a day's work. My mum has suggested that I lock the front door from the inside and don't let him in till he's wiped his feet but even I consider that a step too far. Every time one of dh's family trail muck into the house I vow that the next time they do I'm going to say something like the bucket and mop are in the understairs cupboard but I always wimp out and fester instead.

So how do I get grown-ups to wipe their feet? I think I'm entitled to point out if one of dh's family have not cleaned their feet properly but dh thinks it too confrontational. What do other mumsnetters think? Am I being unreasonable?

you need to relax about it deffo
4 mats is barking
wheere do these people live?
in swamps?

Hmmm, it's definitly a cultural thing with me. It is considered rude in New Zealand to wear shoes on a marae, and this is often extended into people's homes. I automatically take my shoes off when I get home, though I don't expect guests to do it. What I find is that most of my Kiwi friends will do it without thinking, it makes them feel more comfortable.

I've never thought of it as a cleanliness issue, just one of respect.

notthecod,notice how I haven't dignified your comment with a response??

Portree - I can completely emphathise with how you feel. Could you try the sign first and say you put it up for your kids' friend's coming in as they trail mud through the house when they come to play (assuming here that your kids and their friends might be old enough to read?)

I'm going to use my next baby as an excuse to get visitors to take shoes off! (not due till mid-Sept)