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Original poster

Shoes off policy in the home

211 replies

Metrobaby · 20/08/2004 14:10

I was just wondering if anyone has this policy in their home. If so, when people come to visit do you ask them to remove their shoes too? And if you visit other people's homes, do you take off your shoes or wait to be asked?

OP posts:
edam · 20/08/2004 22:49

Hey Mirage, glad it worked . The God of carpets was clearly watching you...

Alexsmum, just curious ? if you have cream carpets, and you allow messy play, how does the carpet look? I know you said it was just on the stairs, but they are the areas that get really heavy traffic, so how do you manage? Will have to replace all the carpets in this house (bought a few months ago) soon (at least, once we've managed to paint the walls) so maybe I'll join the ranks of the shoes-off brigade after all...

edam · 20/08/2004 22:49

Hello Hoxtonchick, and how is Hoxtonfledgling?

lis2 · 20/08/2004 22:52

I just feel there is something a bit strange with wearing shoes indoors - in the same way as I wouldn't keep my coat on. I don't ask anyone to remove their shoes but I would like to think that friends and family would feel comfortable and at home and would therefore want to do so

hoxtonchick · 20/08/2004 22:54

Very lovely thank you edam. Still talking about the noodles & the chopsticks .

Chandra · 20/08/2004 22:58

I would like to implement the policy at home but I'm embarrased to ask people to take the shoes off (though I have visitors walking on my expensive new carpet with car oil, dog s**t, and similar on their shoes, and had to change the kitchen floor because somebody got a nail stuck in a shoe and spend the night rubbibg his feet against the floor ).

I was thinking of getting a basket full with slipers (the oriental kind that it's easy to clean) and aske the people to take their shoes off but give them the option of wear some slippers. However, I would not be surprised if we get the nasty surprise that somebody we know has smelly feet!

hovely · 20/08/2004 22:59

Did anyone see a series of supplements with the Saturday Guardian earlier this year? One of them was all about reducing toxins and pollutants within your house. It said basically there's a difference between ingesting bacteria and various things which will get a child's immune system working, and things like DDT and other poisons that stay in the body. DDT (pesticide) was banned 25 years ago but can still be found in significant quantities in dust and dirt from the ground. They reckoned the best things to do to dramatically cut the amount of this stuff in your home is get a doormat and take your outdoor shoes off. So i think the hygiene hypothesis is qualified - obviously if you start spraying all kinds of chemicals around you can be doing more harm than good, as well as eliminating the kind of exposure that could be healthy. I myself don't really believe in cleaning very much, time with dd and ds is a higher priority, but I do believe in sensible hygiene - that means no sprays etc, just hot water with a dash of washing up liquid to clean all the food preparation & eating surfaces, and now that ds spends all his time on the floor & starting to crawl, the same for washing the wooden floors.
i got a few slippers from the pound shop, wash them a few times, then chuck them.

edam · 20/08/2004 22:59

Oh bless, he is lovely, isn't he? And he's quite right, they do taste better from mummy's bowl...

juniper68 · 20/08/2004 23:00

Good idea chandra, or maybe you could buy some cotton type slippers that will machine wash?

marthamoo · 20/08/2004 23:04

I am thinking of asking people to take all their clothes off when they come in my house and put on a paper suit instead. And a gas mask. And a pair of deely-boppers.

No reason in particular - just think it would be a laugh

lou33 · 20/08/2004 23:05

Now that is just pervy Moo.

alexsmum · 20/08/2004 23:19

edam,the rest of downstairs is just floorboards that can be mopped over with a bit of flash and so long as people take their shoes off the stairs stay ok.
my brother one day didn't go to the bathroom at all while he was here and wouldn't go and see a newly decorated room because he refused point blank to take his shoes off. If it was someone else who felt that strongly about keeping their shoes on, I would of course have said its not a problem.But he was just being bloody minded so i was too.( this was the day after the carpet was laid btw)

juniper68 · 20/08/2004 23:26

alexsmum, could he have had a hole in his sock
we once went to a house (not the vicars) and they only asked us to take ours off because it was a new house and the roads etc. weren't finished, hence mud. Anyway, this was one of those NCT meets 6 weeks post birth and my DH was the only one not to take his shoes off. OMG I was mortified The reason was he had holey socks on. Even if he'd taken his socks off his toe nails were putrid as he had a fungal infection(they're ok now though )

alexsmum · 20/08/2004 23:30

juniper..a hole in his sock?????? This is someone i've shared a bath, and a bed with. Got drunk with, held his head while he was vomiting, etc etc.A hole in a sock would not have been a problem.No he was being bloody minded and 2 can play that game!!

Jennisaurus · 21/08/2004 14:00

Currently we do have a shoes off policy. My dd is crawling so I do think it keeps the floors a bit cleaner, but tbh the reason we really do it is because I worry that someone might step on her and hurt her and bare feet do less damage.

Usually I don't care either way.

KateandtheGirls · 21/08/2004 14:49

Edam, what do you mean by messy play? Are you talking about painting, playdough etc? In that case, people here would either have their kids do it outside or in the kitchen on the tile, or just say "Well that's what pre-school is for".

I think a lot of my neighbours also have specific areas where the kids can play. For example we all have formal living rooms as well as family rooms. The kids would be able to play in the family room and their own rooms but not in the living room.

As for me, my carpets aren't beige. They're a mid-green colour, but they still get dirty if they get mud or anything on them. And my kids can (and do) play anywhere in the house.

What about eating? I, and most of my neighbours, have a policy that food is only allowed in the kitchen, to keep crumbs under control. (I'm talking about snacks, obviously, not meals.)

Maybe it's different because we're in Florida so most people are in sandals year round if they're not barefoot. But it's hard for me to imagine being grossed out by the idea of people taking their shoes off in your home or vice versa.

notthecod · 21/08/2004 14:51

No i wouldnt mind obv if a chinese person asked me -
If a rpetentious non asian person asked me I would just sigh internally and wonder what on earth we had all come to!

notthecod · 21/08/2004 14:54

mind youy one of hte mums from shchool aprretnely bleaches her work surfaces after she has put her tesco bags on them to remove the germs ( woudln't need to at waitrose natch!)

and her dd isnt allowed friends around as htey make too much mess!

lapsedrunner · 21/08/2004 19:49

Amazing subjet to discuss!! Haven't read all the threads however I never even thought about removing my shoes until I moved to Austria 18 months ago, they are obsessive about it. For example can you imagine a BT engineer automatically removing his shoes before entering your house, his counterpart here does! People actually buy disposbale slippers (made of some sort of recyled material)to offer their guests. dh, myself and ds (23 months) now automaticaly remove shoes.

alexsmum · 21/08/2004 20:23

notthecod, why is someone whose opinion differs to yours pretentious?????????
My house is not a holy temple to cleanliness.My kids are allowed in all rooms,to do whatever they want(including eating and messy play)
However, my stair carpet cost a lot of money and it's not something we're going to be able to afford to replace for a very long time.Taking shoes off to go upstairs helps it stay looking good that bit longer.I don't think this is an outrageous thing to ask of people who are friends and family.

bea · 21/08/2004 23:10

dd has so gotten used to taking her shoes off when she is inside she protests if we tell her to keep them on!... as soon as she walks into any house she takes her shoes off... i mean that's what the bottom stair is for!!! (as well as it serving it's dual purpose as the naughty step!!! )

JulieF · 21/08/2004 23:21

I would hate it if I was asked to remove my shoes. Although I don't wear them inside y own house I see my shoes as part of whichever outfit I am wearing and its like removing part of that.

I have never asked anyone to remove their shoes, even when I firstmoved in here and the street was still a muddy building site.

MeanBean · 22/08/2004 00:30

Why is a non-Asian person pretentious if they ask you to remove your shoes, but an Asian person not?

polly28 · 22/08/2004 01:47

I tell people to keep their shoes on in my house as their feet might get dirty!

tex111 · 22/08/2004 09:01

I've never liked wearing shoes in the house, just seems odd. But my mother was always worried that wearing shoes would damage our feet when I was growing up so I guess I got into the habit of no shoes early on.

We lived in Japan for a while and I really loved that everyone removed their shoes and wore slippers in homes and often even in restaurants. I like the informality of it. It's very difficult to be stiff and formal while wearing socks or slippers! Made dinner parties feel more relaxed, even with new people and of course no one seemed to mind removing their shoes (even the Westerners) because we were in Japan.

DH (who is English) has come around to the idea but it took a long time. Still prefers his slippers to bare feet but that's a big improvement on dirty trainers.

I never ask people to remove their shoes when visiting but many people do it anyway, which I appreciate. We're in Kent so maybe it's not unusual here or perhaps they just see that we're not wearing shoes and so remove theirs.

JJ · 22/08/2004 09:07

In Switzerland, most people remove their shoes when entering a house. Some people I know carry indoor shoes (slippers, really) when visiting people. It's just the done thing.

At my son's school, the kids put on indoor shoes when inside and change back to outdoor shoes for recess.

I'm not bothered either way in my house. I don't like wearing shoes, so the custom suits me when I'm at someone else's.