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Original poster

Shoes off policy in the home

211 replies

Metrobaby · 20/08/2004 14:10

I was just wondering if anyone has this policy in their home. If so, when people come to visit do you ask them to remove their shoes too? And if you visit other people's homes, do you take off your shoes or wait to be asked?

OP posts:
sunchowder · 20/08/2004 18:02

miss you cod!!!

notthecod · 20/08/2004 18:10

hi sunster!

am tryiong top cut down

notthecod · 20/08/2004 18:11

to cut down I mean ( mn time)

Fio2 · 20/08/2004 18:12

if you took you shoes off in my house you would have furry socks as I dont hoover and the dogs mault terrible

sunchowder · 20/08/2004 18:12

I do so understand,this is why I have been gone myself. But then I get these little heartpulls that bring me back!

bea · 20/08/2004 18:17

we have always taken our shoes off when we go into someone else's house and all our friends naturally take their shoes off when coming into ours... i've never given it a second thought...it's not a south east thing as i come from the north and my family have always done it... but then again i'm chinese so i think it may also be a chinese thing... but anyway the thought of all that dust and dirt from the outside being trailed around the house is icky... my house is dirty enough without adding more to it!!!!

MeanBean · 20/08/2004 18:18

But lots of adults don't wipe their feet. I've got a friend who within six days of me getting a new carpet in, put mud all over it. Some people are just like that. She has other strengths!

Fio2 · 20/08/2004 18:21

dont any of you have smelly feet? or gross socks?

do you make sure you have your best socks on when you go round your mates house, or drive there barefoot?

Caroline5 · 20/08/2004 18:23

My parents never did this and nor did any of my friends parents (South East!) I only came across this for the first time when we moved here to Glos and noticed that everybody did this in each other's houses. I never ask people to take their shoes off in our house, but they do it anyway!! We sometimes have the weird situation where dd and I are still wearing our shoes but our guests have taken theirs off!

I haven't met anyone that doesn't round here, but it is a rural area and there is lots of mud and cow dung so I suppose it makes sense!

hmb · 20/08/2004 18:23

No smelly feet here, and most of my sox are black or dark blue, so look OK

Fio2 · 20/08/2004 18:26

maybe i have a problem then?

hmb · 20/08/2004 18:29

Well, we didn't like to mention it dear.....

Fio2 · 20/08/2004 18:30

and my breath is even worse .....

katierocket · 20/08/2004 18:32

Oh i don't have time to read all of the replies to this but will visit later,. For now, I find this so weird, I just can't imagine asking someone to take their shoes off, its seems rude to me. I mean WHY? really odd IMO

katierocket · 20/08/2004 18:35

if it's a concern about mud then don't you have to trust your friends to a certain extent and in the scheme of things does it REALLY matter if there is a bit of dirt on the carpet, let it dry and hover it up (and we have cream carpets in the hall) although wood floorboards in rest of downstairs. It makes me think of people who keep the plastic on their sofas to keep them clean (oh I'm probably really going to start an argument now)

hmb · 20/08/2004 18:35

Those of you who don't ask, do you let kids in with shoes on, or are we only talking about adults?

So if a child came to visit with muddy shoes you'd let them wear them? If so you are made of kinder stuff than I am

juniper68 · 20/08/2004 18:42

BTW the vicar and his wife are very lovely but very anal about this shoe malarky. They went hyper when DS2 (then 2) went back in to their room with his shoes on. He'd arrived in the buggy so he didn't even have dirty shoes???

Fio2 · 20/08/2004 18:43

surely god doesnt mind shoes>

hmb · 20/08/2004 18:44

Jesus was keen on clean feet tho!

juniper68 · 20/08/2004 18:45

that's a good point! but they never offer to wash mine

Fio2 · 20/08/2004 18:45

oh yes! i wonder whether he wore underpants in peoples houses aswell or preffered to take them off?

edam · 20/08/2004 18:48

If a child came round with muddy shoes, if I bothered to think about it, I'd probably prefer them to be taken off (ds is only one so his friends mostly don't wear shoes/those that do obviously can't take them off themselves) but only on the grounds that children don't remember or aren't very good at wiping their feet. But if they weren't it wouldn't be the end of the world, I'd just let it dry and hoover. At ds's birthday party, a barbie in the garden, there were footprints all over the conservatory and the kitchen by the end of the day. Inevitable, really, didn't worry me. I suppose when he's at an age where I get hordes of children racing through the house I might enforce a kids' shoes off policy...

katierocket · 20/08/2004 18:55

in answer to your question HMB - I'm of same mindset as edam, stuff like that just doesn't bother me that much. If I noticed it then I'd ask them but if not then it'd wouldn't really worry me

Philly · 20/08/2004 18:56

I agree that I hate this rule I had never really come accross it until we had children.I find it intensely embarrassing to have to remove my shoes in a strangers house and I have to admit that I have been put off some potential friendships because I couldn't bear the embarrassment of being asked this.Having said this at home I do wander around the house, and so do the children, without shoes but that is just a comfort thing.Of course muddy boots are another issue entirely.

I do have to say that most of the people I know who do this will say that its a hygeine thing etc but almost without exception they have light coloured carpets etc and I can't help feeling that they think that I will damage their pristine home which makes me feel extremely unwelcome.I would never knowlingly mark another person's carpet and would of course offer to remove my outer clothing or would offer to go in the back door or whatever if I thought this might happen.

I think you just have to invite no one to your home or your have to steel yourself,I have a new carpet in our family room and find it very difficult but would never dream of asking someone to take of their shoes,perhaps I would just make sure that whatever we were doing we could do in a less awkward part of the house.

Incidentally when I was away at school it was school rule that you never walked around without shoes,perhaps this is where my problem comes from.Also dh is always telling the children and I off for not wearing shoes he thinks that it is slovenly?!

motherinferior · 20/08/2004 18:58

DP and I are both half-Asian, and neither of us wears shoes in the house (although in fact my parents and my sister do). I've taken off my shoes in my house or anyone else's house automatically, I'm afraid since I was about 19. I just feel vilely uncomfortable in them. Kids take them off too, automatically, and in fact dd1 thinks it's a bit off if people wear shoes in the home.

I don't mind other people wearing them in my house but I suppose I think it's a bit odd on account of the aforementioned vile discomfort. As I work from home, I spend most of the day in blissfully comfortable bare feet/sheepskin slippers, and only don footwear to drop off/collect the kids.