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Shoes off policy in the home

211 replies

Metrobaby · 20/08/2004 14:10

I was just wondering if anyone has this policy in their home. If so, when people come to visit do you ask them to remove their shoes too? And if you visit other people's homes, do you take off your shoes or wait to be asked?

OP posts:
florenceuk · 20/08/2004 16:18

TurnAgainCat, I think my friend got them cheap in Japan (a few pounds each if that) and they appear to be fairly neutral and presentable - slip-ons with stylish tartan pattern! She has about 4 pairs I think. I don't think she washes them though - so there is still the cross-contamination issue...

suzywong · 20/08/2004 16:20

Definitely shoes off with us too - baby crawling and asian connection so it really is obligatory

marthamoo · 20/08/2004 16:24

Same as lydialemon, we always take our shoes off and most visiting kids do too. I would never ask a visiting adult to take off their shoes - even though our front door is straight in off the street (no hall) and it does get pretty mucky just inside the door (laminate floor though so easy to clean).

What bugs the @$ out of me is when my Mum and Dad come in and put their feet up on the settee with their shoes on. It makes me want to scream as I am quite sure I wasn't allowed to put my shoe-clad feet on the furniture when I was a child. I grit my teeth though...

One of my friends has a no-shoes inside policy - all shoes are left in the hall. Problem is that another mutual friend, who often comes round too, has the stinkiest feet imaginable. I'm always glad she doesn't take her shoes off in my house! You can't really say "oh, would you mind keeping your shoes on - your feet stink!"

I also don't really like taking my shoes off in someone's house if I don't have socks on - feet are so ugly!

marthamoo · 20/08/2004 16:25

Hello Ms Wong

lou33 · 20/08/2004 16:29

Lol @ sm and her hatred of shoes off!

My mum always used to make us take shoes off sm, remember? We do indeed have a shoes off policy, but only because ds2 cannot walk, being disabled, and he crawls everywhere, so we don't really want him picking up all kinds of everything on his hands. I am more relaxed about it than dh though. Those who know us do it automatically (except sm who has her shoes surgically attached to her), and those that done, well some of them grumble, but tbh I couldn't give a shit.

spacemonkey · 20/08/2004 16:30

suzy!!!

spacemonkey · 20/08/2004 16:31

excuse me, i ALWAYS take my shoes off at yours lou!

lou33 · 20/08/2004 16:42

Don't.

spacemonkey · 20/08/2004 16:43

well say what you like, but I know I do because every time i have to remove my footwear I secretly resent it then simmer about it for months afterwards

lou33 · 20/08/2004 16:45

GUFFAW!!!

Are you telling me you would rather ds picked up all sorts of toxic health hazards from the soles of your shoes, onto his hands, put his hands in his mouth, then got stricken with a v rare disease that YOU would be responsible for?

spacemonkey · 20/08/2004 16:46

of course!

spacemonkey · 20/08/2004 16:47

harrumph, i'll stay outside next time then if you don't like my shit-encrusted feet

lou33 · 20/08/2004 16:48

Thought as much.

Ok then. I will let you sit in the playhouse.

edam · 20/08/2004 16:58

This is in danger of turning into another tablecloth/eating in supermarkets thread...

The hygiene hypothesis isn't my theory, it's a theory espoused by leading allergy specialists seeking to explain the huge explosion in allergies in western, developed countries over the past 30 years (and the UK is worst of all). Doesn't really have anything to do with shoes off policy, though, as it wouldn't create a large enough effect. The point I was trying to make is that people who go 'yuck' about other people wearing shoes indoors 'because it's dirty', even if there's no dog mess/muddy shoe issue, are working on the same principle that may be responsible for the rise in allergies ie dirt is a bad thing and must be completely eradicated hence the market for anti-bacterial wipes (which are a complete waste of money, BTW, but that's another story).

Obviously if you live on a farm you take your shoes off, so does every farmer I know. But children who grow up on farms are still exposed to many more (thousands of times) infectious agents than urban children, despite the fact that farming families generally keep VERY tidy and clean houses ? it's just the environment and it's a good thing, because it protects against allergies.

And the cultural differences about shoe-wearing between Eastern and Western countries doesn't mean Eastern countries would have more allergies, because there are many, many far bigger factors. Maybe it's like the Japanese diet, though; people in Japan are far less prone to heart disease but Japanese people in Western countries who eat a Western diet have exactly the same heart attack risk as everyone else in those countries. So it clearly isn't genetic, it's environmental, hence the idea that it must be a dietary issue.

I guess north/south cultural differences about this habit may come into play though. Maybe I think it's rude because I'm a northerner. Still think it is, though!

spacemonkey · 20/08/2004 17:00

(i'm a southerner and i think it's rude too)

(unless it's lou33 obviously)

Piffleoffagus · 20/08/2004 17:03

if shoes are really dirty/wet/otherwise gross then off at the door, but we all seem to have some shoes that are house shoes, I have birkenstocks/slip on shoes and dh wears boat shoes.
DS often wanders in in his trainers but if he is staying in I get him to take them off, we do have a shoe rack at the door...
Most people I know take their shoes off, but I have never ever asked any adult to remove their shoes!!!! I'd die of embarrassment, it doesn;t really bother me...
Does that make me a slut...?

Yorkiegirl · 20/08/2004 17:06

Message withdrawn

iota · 20/08/2004 17:10

So am I the only mumsnetter witha pet?
Go on... what does everyone with a pet do? Make them wear slippers when they come in?

lou33 · 20/08/2004 17:13

Lol Iota! We don't have a pet, unless you count dh.

iota · 20/08/2004 17:14

Also I go in to the garden barefoot a lot in the summer, as do my kids and in my slippers - and then I come back in again ........

My house must be filthy - not to mention my feet

mckenzie · 20/08/2004 17:45

this is making me cringe.
ABout 6 months ago we had some friedns over for a dinner party as the builders had left, the decorators had left adn we had our old house back only much bigger and looking much nicer. We'd also just that week had new light coloured carpet laid in the lounge and amtico in the hallway and kitchen/dining area.

Dh and i had decided ourselves to have a no shoes policy in the house and also our young son would do the same.
The reason I'm cringing is because we asked our dinner party guests to remove their shoes!!
I was a tad uncomfortable with it at the time but I was also so keen to keep the flooring as clean and 'new-looking' as possible.
Now however, it makes me cringe to think about it. And not just because of some of the comments that i've read on here but also because I realise now how uncomfortable it made 2 of the guests and how little moving around you do at a dinner party anyway, it really would not have mattered!
Even though I'm pretty sure the people in question dont log on to Mumsnet I'd like to make a huge apology to them here and now. SORRY.

MeanBean · 20/08/2004 17:57

I used to have a Japanese neighbour who had all those little pairs of shoes for guests - but she used to wash them each time (she had loads of them). If I knew where to get them, I'd probably have a shoes off policy as well. Enforcing it might be a problem though!

juniper68 · 20/08/2004 17:59

We don't ask anyone to remove their shoes unless they're muddy (in which case I'd hope they'd do it anyway) but I do think it's a good idea especially if you have young children crawling around. If we saw under a microscope the things on the bottom of shoes I think we'd all do it
The only reason I don't is because we never did at my parents and DHs parents didn't so it never became a habit.
I'm in the north and the only people I know who asks this are the vicar and his wife. I don't blame them as they have loads of people visiting.

notthecod · 20/08/2004 18:00

I think its naff too
I would never dream of it as I think its patronising and I would expect that adults could wipe their feet

i also think it is highly precious - cream carpets fgs

lol Mckenzie

notthecod · 20/08/2004 18:00

Oh and as for the poster who worried what her crawling baby was eating of the botomm fo shoes.. really!