Life Coaching ..... Anyone ?

[Crystaltips]

Anyone have experience - or know anything about life coaching. I am sick to death with being out of control in many areas of my life and would be interested to see whether or not this can help.
Thanks

Hi TM,I've already started trying to eat more healthily(not had a whole Waitrose Tiramisu for some weeks now,(sigh),
I have enrolled for a C&G's NVQ1 computer course(feel overwhelmed just thinking of what it entails!),
and my doctor put me on a 'Healthy Lifestyle' scheme-going to the local gym/spa,can't seem to muster any enthusiasm for that at all,I've already flunked out and cancelled the first session on two occasions.
But no, you're certainly not boring me senseless-I just hope I don't madden you with my useless attitude!

I think the rot really set in last year when I developed a 'frozen' shoulder-total inactivity and a complete halt in any decorating/DIY,since then I seem to have got used to living in a pigsty,surrounded by magazines,bits of paper with lists on etc,balls of cat fluff rolling around under the furniture!

boudicca - Hi, again! I understand. I've got health problems that have forced me to an almost standstill (or lie-down!)

I did an IBT2 computer course a few years ago. It involved word processing, spreadsheets and databases. You'll be fine, don't worry. Even I passed! As you've cancelled the first exercise session twice, I'd re-schedule it for when the kids have gone back to school and write it in each week for the following 3 weeks on your home calendar. Then you'll know not to avoid it because then you'll have to do it the next week or the next or the next. I've got a few pigsty areas in my house. I've sorted a few rooms and have just (Just!!) three or so problem rooms left. Better return to my ironing! I keep popping back to MN every 1/2 hr or so! HTH. tm

Y'see - I thought this got lost in the ether somewhere and then suddenly it pops up out of nowhere. I thought that it was just another thread that I had started that disappeared up it's own ..... well whatever !!

Good to see that there are a few like-minded sorts that need a helping hand.

I listed ( early on ) my goals : so the update is
a ) Agree plans for a new bathroom - ONGOING ... but have included the garden in this !!

b ) Begin to shift my weight ( is 4 lbs realistic without being too hard ) - Have joined Weight watchers and have lost 2lbs !

c ) Successfully negotiate the minefield of the SUmmer holidays - SO far so good .... Kids seem happy enough

d ) I have just turned 40 - so once a month I am going to pamper myself - I'll book a facial - Booked a facial AND an Osteopath!

e ) Have just bought a pilates video - so want to do 3 sessions a week - Have done 2 seesions so far !!

GOD that's OK isn't it ?

The real question that I don't know the answer to yet ... is What's missing? I feel that I am lacking the drive / motivation / PURPOSE ... and I don't know what to do to get it ....

TiaMaria .... Looks like you are "team leader" - Well DOne

Wow - aren't we all doing well.

CrystalTips - I do know what you mean about the 'purpose' - I feel like I lack drive/motivation - I am coming up to 40 - is it an age thing? I feel in a bit of a weird place in life at the moment - got the amzing kids after a lot of stuggle with IF, married to the worlds most perfect man, got a well paid job that is flexible to my needs, own a house in nice place, health fine, wider family great.... so why do I have a weird feeling of 'what's it about, what is next, is it all behind me?'

I am very lazy and can let things slide and so need things like this to motivate me... my DH would have me sectioned if he knew I needed this sort of thing to get me to do what he would see as everyday things but he is the sort of man who walks into a room and can create tranquility peace and tidiness with minimal effort whereas I tend to create chaos whereever I go.... I do find though that having somethings in order (the most basic things like ironing, kids toys, bills) makes me feel less out of control and gives me the space to concnetrate on the things that make me feel happy - kids, DH, nice skin!!

Am waffling now but sounds like we are making good progress!

MancMum ..... but it's just not enough is it .... I am so so happy with my life. I am one of life's optimists and I pinch myself daily as I KNOW how lucky I am ....

But there is something lacking - and I just can't fathom this one out. It's not discontentment - but I feeling my life is just lacking that tiny "je ne sais quoi !!"

CrystalTips - Hi! I'd be happy to be team leader if it means I don't have to do any work myself!

You sound as though you're doing well! As for your answer to "What's missing?", I don't know. I'm currently off sick from work and I am entering a new chapter of life (kids nearing secondary school age, possibly about to leave my workplace permanently due to poor health, etc). I don't know where I'm going yet, and it won't be spectacular or anything, but I'm pretty hopeful that it'll be good!

CrystalTips - maybe we don't need a life coaching thread - we need something more existential! think I have been here before in my youth, when I read far too much Satre/Camus and got even more depressed/confused!

TiaMaria - I think you are doing a great job as our leader.. but I need to confess that my good work has just been undone - just had a malt loaf cheese and chocolate sandwich... actaully just had 2... I admire your attitude to your changing life - things don't need to be massive and dramatic to be good... I need to learn to appreciate more of what I have and lose the feeling that I sometimes have of 'Is this it?' because my 'it' is actually fantastic and maybe this is what it is all about and I should stop thinking there is more out there... oh god off again....

What are you thinking of doing next - you sound very positive about your situation.. I have recently become very aware of how much I take my health for granted and have decided to do something positive with it.. being 40 next bday, I have decided to run a certain distance (not quite ready to commit to it yet) and raise some money for a couple of charities... MS and Bliss.. am hoping this will drag me out of this weird place I am in by making me look outward rather than up my a**!!

apologies - this life coaching thread is turning into my life crisis thread!!

MancMum - No probs! About the life crisis thing, I mean!

I can't post now but will be back on Sunday or Monday. I must go and do what I'm supposed to be doing before dh gets back!!

Before I forget, have we all done our Friday check-in yet?

Hi, would it be ok to join in, I really need to get things back on track. Im just about to put the children to bed so if its ok I'll post my goals later when I've had time to think.

hey - well done everyone, we are all pretty much on track! I have managed to clear out one drawer of over flowing chest of drawers - thought i'd do one a week! Also tackled some of wardrobe whilst i was at it though - now have one big bag for charity shop and one for bin! Have not yet been swimming to do lengths but am not going to beat myself up about it as have managed to stick to saying 'no' thing, which has been really good but quite hard. Am now feeling pretty pleased with myself though!!

I also recognise the 'something missing' theme - i was 39 last week and think there is definately something that kicks in when you are approaching 40 - life begins, reflection etc.........also for me, shall i/shan't i have another baby. Was ttc for ages and now not sure what to do, so wanting to focus more on building my life generally and move on from mad baby obsessiveness that i've had for last 2 years.

Sorry, don't want to go on about that as i really do want to think forward and positive...life changing, not life crisis!

Welcome morningmayhem - have you thought of your goals yet?

evenin' all,
yes,yes,yes-Kay1,Crystaltips and MancMum that's just how I feel,
'what now?'I've started to think about how little time there is to 'get my act together'(mind you I'm at least 10yrs older than you lot!)I really must start being a bit,make that a lot more positive about what I do have.

I think having Dd3 at 38,sort of 'let me off'of planning what to do when she grew up-I've let life take me,instead of the other way around-I think I hear the sound of flapping wings(chickens coming home to roost!)

I'm very keen on this.. but haven't got the umphhhh (va va voom) at the moment to list and work on my many goals... so can I join you all shortly? please

my mum imparts her life coaching gems of motivation..
snap out of it
sort yourself out
when I were a lass...
not helpful...
I am moving in 3 weeks, I am SOOO reinventing myself then...
I am verging on alchol abuse (minor but enough to affect my life) apathy and defeatism...
nuff said
I shall watch...

A quick report for today, went to chessington world of adventures and I passed on ice cream! Small step but still! Have a good weekend.

Am just about to set off for Devon for a week's stay with friends (kids will sleep in car... hopefully - it's a long way from scotland...) but feel v inspired by some of the stuff here and would love to join in when we get back...

Have revised my goals (to be tackled AFTER the hol!):

1. Stop smoking
2. Sort out all kids' clothes and get rid of mounds of ratty old stuff that doesn't fit them.
3. Try to stick to wheat-free(ish) to help get rid of fat belly
4. Run three times a week
5. Get big piece of work done in as best shape as possible by Aug 19 (my deadline... urrrr) Don't you find that when you start listing goals you can't stop... am wary of attempting to achieve too much & failing at everything. Good luck over the next week folks.

Piffleoffagus, maybe you're just exhausted by impending house move... it's so hellish, all that organisation... you sound like you're being hard on yourself. I'd be demented if we were moving.

ps My mum says to me (while staring at my stomach): 'All your muscles are shot, aren't they? It just sort of hangs there.' grrr

So the head count is now:-

MancMum
mummytosteven
tiamaria
hunmummy
fionagib
Kay1
Juliehafrancis
emwi
yingers74
boudicca
morningmayhem
unicorn
Piffleoffagus

Brill!!!

Welcome, morningmayhem, unicorn and Piffleoffagus! Dip in and out of this thread as you please, we'll be happy to see you anytime!

boudicca - Hi! How are you?

just about to go off on hols too - at least we will when i've finished packing = going camping so loads and loads of stuff to take, but i am being very organised and working through lists!

will not do much on my goals next week but will check in again with you all when i'm back........i'm so impressed on how everyone is doing, hope you all have a good week xxx

Kay1 - Hope you have a great time!

ok- deep breath.. goals..in no particular order (or should they be?)
1)get on top of the chaos that is my house (substitute that for life!).. well we had a go at the mess of a kitchen yesterday and I did feel better.. now onto the other rooms...
2)sort out my flabby body/ get some energy and do some exercise regularly...
3)sort out childcare + get a regular supply of freelance work, need more money and to get my head back together.
4)work at relationship with dh which has been to the brink and back and is now just on a plateau...
try and rekindle what we had...

so there's a few for starters..! wish me luck- and any advice is more than welcome.

unicorn - Hi! Good to hear from you. My bit of advice for your goals:-

1. I move everything into the rooms they should be in and then ask myself what extra (if any) storage items I need to make it work.
2. I've lost a stone by eating more healthily. I have poor health so I can't exercise at all, really, and have to rely mainly on organised events in order for the kids to get exercise.
3. Childcare - what age are your children? If pre-school then research the nurseries, creches, etc locally and also get a list of registered childminders from the Social Services. Freelance work:- use contacts, word of mouth, trade magazines, relevant businesses etc. Look into business grants and advice you might be entitled to.
4. Good luck. Too complicated a topic for advice from me, I think! Good on you for working at it!

HTH

How are we all doing? I think I need someone to tell me to get off MN and tackle some of my goals! I'm not doing too well atm!