Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

DILEMMA:OPINIONS SOUGHT URGENTLY

36 replies

guiltymum · 16/07/2004 15:33

Ok, here goes.Dh's parents live abroad(v.far away in a place we can't visit)and we haven't seen them for 7 months.Ds2 is only 10 months so they have missed most of his life so far.They are home at the moment and its the great- grandparents diamond wedding and we are having a big family reunion this weekend.We haven't seen 99% of the family since I was pregnant with ds2 and so they have never met him.DS1 has been poorly this week but perked up a lot yesterday,started eating again etc.This morning he woke up covered in a rash but said he felt ok.Went round to the doctors who said he thought it was scarlet fever.He has got anti-biotics and the doctor says he will be infectious until about sunday.
Do we go to the party?????? What would you all do?? My better half says we should stay away and not risk infecting everyone else but my selfish side says just go anyway, he's feeling better and so long as we don't let him hug and kiss anyone or be hugged and kissed it'll be ok.Come on help me out please.

OP posts:
Aero · 16/07/2004 15:36

Can anyone who know's him well babysit while you go or is the party too far away?

Angeliz · 16/07/2004 15:36

If you're happy to go, i'd then ask the rest of the family. Assuming there will be other kids there, how will other parents feel?

Can't you see them all after the weekend?

PandaBear · 16/07/2004 15:37

Not sure I'd go to be honest.

Easy · 16/07/2004 15:37

Are the elderly people frail, likely to suffer badly?

If they are healthy hearty types I'd go, but if either of them is ill or anything I'd be wary.

littlemissbossy · 16/07/2004 15:37

If it was me, I wouldn't take him... sorry If you've been told by your GP that he could be infectious then I wouldn't risk it around old people TBH.

lou33 · 16/07/2004 15:38

Googling SF came up with this:

Contagiousness:
Group A streptococcal infections that cause scarlet fever are contagious. Strep bacteria can be passed through contact with the nasal or throat fluids of someone with a strep throat infection. They can also be passed by touching the infected skin of someone who has strep impetigo, or by sharing towels, clothing or bed linen.

Estimates are that in a home where someone already has a strep throat infection, about one out of every four family members will get it too. There are also cases where persons, especially children, can be carriers of strep bacteria without having any symptoms. Among school-age children, 15% to 20% may be asymptomatic carriers of strep bacteria.

I think you should also consider that there may be people with lowered immune systems about, which could caue them to get quite sick, before you make a decision.

Miaou · 16/07/2004 15:40

Poor you! what a dilemma.

Does the GP have advice on how infectious/risk to others? If he is feeling well in himself and poses no risk to others then make your mind up on the day.

OTOH if there is the slightest risk to others, I wouldn't go (or wouldn't take him).

Original poster
guiltymum · 16/07/2004 15:45

We can't go without him, the party is at the opposite end of the country.We can see dh's parents after the weekend but not everybody else.Let's face it , ds is 10 months and they have never seen him.Ain't going to happen any time soon.
We thought we could travel down tomorrow but not see anyone till sunday when the doctor says he will be infectious until.
I think you are all probably right though.I've got to let my good side and stay home .I could just cry though.

OP posts:
Easy · 16/07/2004 15:52

trouble is, grandparents (and g grandparents) will IME want to kiss and cuddle the kids if they haven't seen them for a long time, ensuring the perfect breeding groud for infection.

Twinkie · 16/07/2004 15:54

I wouldn't go - I have a huge thing about people being IMO selfish and exposing other to diseases so they can fulfill social commitments.

Sorry!!

JanZ · 16/07/2004 16:00

Have you asked your GP for his opinion?

Did he mean he will STOP being infectious by (inclding) Sunday, or will he be OK by Sunday?

Galaxy · 16/07/2004 16:01

message withdrawn

Original poster
guiltymum · 16/07/2004 16:02

aaagh come on twinkie, don't you think that's a bit harsh?? if i was that bad surely i wouldn't even have given it another thought? i'd have just gone? it's not like its just some gathering that can be rearranged..it's a once in a lifetime event. I feel i'm allowed a little angst.
what gets me is that the gp said that if he felt ok he would be safe to go to nursery on monday.will one day make that much difference?

OP posts:
Twinkie · 16/07/2004 16:04

But what if he gave to to an elderly person (seems there will be a few of those there) - small illnesses can kick start a whole range of things in the elderly - and what if there are pregnant women there or other very young children - sorry to me it is not worth the risk.

Twinkie · 16/07/2004 16:06

Scarlet Fever is caused by the strep virus and it can be very nasty indeed!!

Original poster
guiltymum · 16/07/2004 16:10

I know that twinkie.I know.

If I was a really nice wife I would send dh on his own.But as he has been working away all week I don't think I can stand a weekend alone with the kids as well as all week.
Bloody typical isn't it? Weekend after weekend of nothing special and he's perfectly healthy.This comes along on the one special weekend. Kids eh? who'd have 'em?
I suppose I had better think about phoning up and cancelling our hotel booking.

OP posts:
Twinkie · 16/07/2004 16:12

I know its hard - DD was ill this weekend when me and DP were supposed to go to our first wedding together and the bride was also pregnant and wanted a natter and I eventually told him to go on his own!!

The thing is that one of the ushers had recently had Shingles and the bride has MS as well as being pregnant and he didn't seem to think it was a problem, hadn't even checked that there were going to be 2 pregant women there - It made me sooo cross - imagine if an old person got something and ended up carping it - you'd feel awful!!

aloha · 16/07/2004 16:13

When is the party? Where did you plan to stay? Is it actualy in someone's house? If so why not explain to them what's happened and ask their opinion. Were you actually going to take your son to the party itself or would be be asleep during the do? What about explaining what's up and suggesting you all meet on Sunday for a big lunch. And I agree, talk to your doctor about possibe risks.

Easy · 16/07/2004 16:16

Guiltymum,

Ring your GP NOW before they close, and ask his advice specifically about Sunday.

I understand you want to go to this thing, so ask, and be prepared to keep ds slightly apart from the rest of the crowd there.

Lou's thread suggests you have to echange fluids or share towels for the risk to be significant.

Is ds old enough to understand about not drinking out of anyone elses glass & stuff?

aloha · 16/07/2004 16:19

When is the party? Where did you plan to stay? Is it actualy in someone's house? If so why not explain to them what's happened and ask their opinion. Were you actually going to take your son to the party itself or would be be asleep during the do? What about explaining what's up and suggesting you all meet on Sunday for a big lunch. And I agree, talk to your doctor about possibe risks.

Original poster
guiltymum · 16/07/2004 16:20

We were going to stay in a hotel on saturday night and have saturday evening at an aunts house just a few of us for a chat and then the " party" is a lunch on sunday in a marquee at a pub near where the grandparents live.My children will be the youngest there.The grandparents the only really old people.
I'm trying justify going to myself here and you're all right .It would be irresponsible.It's very difficult though , especially when ds is running around like a whirling dervish, eating for england and generally being his normal self.

OP posts:
JanZ · 16/07/2004 16:31

.... and have you rung the GP yet?

Chandra · 16/07/2004 16:32

I won't go, my parents decided to take me to a Christmass Day party when I was just comming out of chicken pox and I infected half of the children(probably around 10). It is hard but I believe that it will be best if you let your DH go on his own, even if he has been away for a while.

Original poster
guiltymum · 16/07/2004 16:36

just about to phone the gp.no but sorry.if i don't go then he can't go.a weekend away in a hotel after all week away?? and away next week too? no.the kids won't recognise him and i would go loopy.in our house, i'm afraid its one out, all out!!!!

OP posts:
Chandra · 16/07/2004 16:46

Well is his gran parents weeding aniversary, isn't it? I just imagined two scenarios if you don't let him go:

  • that your husband never forgive you for stoping him from going to his grand parents diamond wedding because you couldn't cope on your own for a week more.

  • That your son passes the infection to any old people or children. What would you think of people saying that dear great granny got an infection that landed her in hospital for weeks because somebody brang an ill child to the wedding?

There's another option though, that your DH attends the wedding but does not stay all the week.

I'm sorry you have to make such a difficult decision, this is just my opinion so please ignore it if you wish