Oh Nik, so sorry - this all sounds really horrible. It sounds as if you have been dragged into a situation which you can have no say in and cannot influence.
Of course your little girl needs to know her Dad and have a relationship with him, as long as it is safe.
But to be honest, his family sound nasty, and worse, dangerous, and I wonder why they suddenly want to see Shireen? I am sure you don't need telling not to let him take her to his family.
One more thing - Twinkie will tell you this - the one thing that people who treat you badly are really good at is making you believe it is your fault. OF COURSE your dad said it must be you - because if he was a nice person he a)wouldn't have abandoned you in the first place and b) would have admitted that it was his responsibility and apologised to you. But he can't bring himself to do that so the only thing he can do is justify himself by making it your fault. Many people do it - and it's cowardly and cruel. But again, their bad behaviour does NOT mean you are a bad person. You are a loyal, loving, kind, passionate, clever, resourceful, warm, witty, funny person, who is making sure that she will be a great Mum. All these things shine through in your posts.
Sorry i have been 'off the air' - my Dad had a big operation a couple of weeks ago so I took DS up to visit him.
Hang on in there.....