Nikcolas Thread

[fairyfly]

A thread for you to do what you do

thank you i cryed reading those posts, i will talk to him when he gets here i will try not to let him walk all over me and your right he was the first person in ages who was nice to me

Hi Nikola, I've just been reading through these posts, just returned from holiday and still trying to catch up, and my hearts been breaking for you. Whoever said that he was the first person to be nice to you is right and whatever he has done to you in the past or chose to do to keep his family happy, doesn't stop him from loving you and you from loving him. That doesn't mean however, that you can't find love with someone else in the future. You now need to have an honest discussion with him about what the future holds for now he's married. Take care, sending you hugs and remember we're always here lmbx

thanks lbm, xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hope you are feeling a bit better Nikcola.

Oh Nikcola, sorry I've missed your threads for a while now. What an awful time you've been having.
MI and Twinkie and all the others are right, you know. This is NOT your fault. There's nothing about you that makes people leave, it's just very, very sad that you've been surrounded with some spectacularly useless people.
And they are also right that this man is doing you no good at all. It must be very scary to think about leaving him, but please, please do think very seriously about it. You CAN build a life for yourself and dd without him and you CAN find someone else, a decent man who will love you and dd to bits. Listen to Twinkie, she's been there.
I know, as MI says, virtual friends aren't as good as the real thing. But we are all rooting for you and we all want you to get through this.

I've been out tonight Nikola, but still been thinking of you xxx

thanks everyone , my moms coming today to see dd thats why im up so early on a bloody saturday im a bit nervous when i ss dp tomorow he rang me yesterday and he said to me ill be rond about 4pm and when i get there ill will be nackered so please dont arguee with me i saaid to him what the f* do u expect a hug and a weeding pressant ffs,

dd is looking forward to seeeing her dad god if only she new, ive allwaus been a jelous person but this is driving me mad the thought of him getting married and not to me he even had the cheek to say on the phone oh i can marry you now as well ffs

I'd say he's got a flipping cheek if this wasn't so serious, honey.

Stay angry. I hope things have gone not too horribly today. Thinking of you.

Nikcola, I've missed a lot of this as I've been away but sorry things are so shite. Thinking of you x

haven't posted before but I am thinking of you. tigermoth xxx

thank you everyone it really cheers me up when i come on mn you are all so lovely to be thinking of me

he is home tomorow and im bloody nervous why?

i got a letter today comfurming dd.s place at nursery so collage is sorted wa hey !!!!!

a least when im a nurse i can do what im best at taking crap of people and looking after then iykwim!!!

shit he will be here at 6.30 tonight im really nervous what shall i say to him he rang and hes really excited about seeing us

ok this might make me sound crazy but last night i was doing a mountian of iorning and i was really angry so i burn a hole in his favourite trousers

I dont mean to sound horrible and i know you love him...But why dont you collect all his clothes and when he turns up say something like we need to talk things through,let him be on his own,taking his things with him so you can sort yourself and dd out...Can you really see things working out with him?

i dont no whats going to happen i just feel so hurt and confused

i want to beat the shit out of him for hurting me but i also miss him so much

yeah but he is now married isnt he?
But you will get through this and you will feel so much stronger and better for it...

Nikcola, I know you love him. But he isn't worthy of your love. And he doesn't return that love. He treats you very, very badly. He's selfish and weak and he's doing you no good at all. Just concentrate on dd and on your brilliant new career and sod him, it's a cliche but he does not deserve you.
Well done on the trousers, btw .

Hi Nikcola, back off my holidays now! How did it go yesterday? So sorry to hear that he got married. At least tho the situation has resolved (tho in an awful way) so you can start dealing with it. My opinion is - by getting married he has left you/is being unfaithful to you, so don't let him put any pressure on you as to your behaviour/commitment to him. Never think that it is your fault that your parents and partner have treated you like that - your parents say things like that because they are bad parents and just put their own needs first- you would never ever treat your dd like that, would you?

Nikcola, do you really still love him or are you in love with the person who was nice to you sometime ago? Sorry to ask, but I really find it hard to understand the situation at the moment. I really don't understand why you were doing hisironing while he went away and got married to someone else, either.

I know you are pretty young and have had a really tough life but maybe think about the situation fromanother angle - for example, if your daughter was in the situation you are in, what would you want her to do? I sometimes think that thismay be a better way of dealing with things as your self esteem seems very low at the moment and you seem to love your daughter more than you love yourself. Sorry,if that is way off the mark.

well he came back on sunday covered in bruises crying his eyes out i didnt no what to say to him so we just talked about what had hapen and he told then he didnt want to go throuh with it and he got beat up

we spent the whole of yesterday crying, arguing, and more crying, he has gone to work now ,

but one thing i cant understand is his family want to see dd now and they havent wanted to no for 3 years [angry so i dont no if i should let her go and see them,

the woman that he married tryed to kill herself a week before she meet him bacause she didnt wabt to marry him ,

i no i shouldnt feel sorry for him and your all gonna think im mad but he is so upset and hes got no one but me

Nikcola- sounds like a really horrible family situation that you are tangled up in. I realise why you feel sorry for him, but at the end of the day he could have refused to get on that plane, but he didn't. At the moment I think you need to concentrate getting your own life back on track without him distracting you, and making claims on your attention/pity. He wasn't there to support you/dd during the events of the last 3 months, and treated you very selfishly - I don't think he deserves your undivided attention now. If he doesn't make the break from his family, you can't do that for him. I don't know what I would say about his family seeing Shireen - if they have recently beaten their own son up, can they be trusted to behave well towards you/your dd?

mts could you add me to your msn . [email protected]

Done!