Am I the only one who worries that modern parenting techniques will result in a nation of brats who expect everybody

[Twiglett]

to do what they want them to do, to not exhibit any negative emotions or vocabulary and to accept any way they act

I do wonder sometimes when I see some of the vehement opinions expressed on here

but then I hope this is only the nature of parenting toddlers and that these children will start to get an idea of what real life is like as they grow up and before they get rudely thrust into it not understanding why the world doesn't bend to their every whim nor explain everything in minute detail

Jumping Jehosaphats! A whole thread without Greenshoots on it????

Is that an intended as an insult aimed at Greeny RPC? because I am her self-appointed minder for the evening

besides, she was here

Er, no, here I am

Did you have something insulting you wanted to say to me? Or are you content to make little digs when you think I am not here?

Ah I thought so

my Greeny is being mauled phone went off and I rushed to the rescue

gawd it has been a busy week you know Greeners

Do ducks wear bunches? I think not.

Sshh - you're not meant to TELL everyone about the bunches! People will stop taking me seriously

have I misssed something ?
where is greeny's 's'

She dropped it and it got stuck on the bottom of my shoe

It fell off and went down the sink while I was washing up. Bloody Claire's Accessories, nothing lasts five minutes

yellowrose I am afraid I will have no other choice but sue you. who else am I going to hold responsible otherwise if my DC turn out all f**ed up?!?!

Greensleeves, I didn't think about it like that. Maybe it is because I am so short. Maybe it's because I feel the need to shout - like typing in capitals. Don't know. I find huge paragraphs hard to read. But looking back, every other sentence does seem a bit excessive. Is this better ?
Sylvis Plath - wow what an honour. maybe a name change from oblomov to sylvia - I like it !

my concern is that modern parenting techniques are turning modern parents into a bunch of yawn-a-minute, self-righteous, earnest, competitive tw*ts. Never mind about the kids.

And actually I don't believe in long explanations for small children, but only because I think they are a cruel and unreasonable punishment
Poor kids, being lectured for hours. Grim.

agree wholeheartedly with Aloha about the negotiations / long drawn-out explanations to small toddlers .. arrghh

'because I say so' is a good enough reason in our house some of the time. Me adult, them children. I generaly know best.

The worrying thing about 5 year olds who think the world revolved round them is that grow into 15 year olds who know the world revolves round them.

And that is a right royal PITA.

I simply do have time to reason and cadjole 28 kids into working. They have to just do it.

So please teach your (NT) kids how to listen and comply with resonable requests??

Oh, and praise is a wonderful thing but it has to mean something. I see 11 year olds (of average intellegence) who demand praise for doing stuff that a 5 year could do. they expect me to coo over wavy lines or bubble writing when this isn't what I've told them to do [sigh]

I use my dad's parenting techniques, ie, "but Mummy, it's not FAIR!!" & I reply, "So who told you life is fair?"

ENTP, I didn't mean to give the impression that I didn't want advice.
I do.
I was trying to explain some of the things that had happened to us.
I didn't want people to say, oh that what children that age do.
I was saying that we (dh and I ) felt that for us, this rudeness, whiney, behaviour was not acceptable. Rather than people trying to persaude me that it was the norm , I was just trying to get accross that I wanted help and answers to how to adjust my parenting techniques, not whether what ds had done was acceptable or not.

I am really sorry.
I am not explaining myself very weell.
Do you understand what I am TRYING to say ?

I am all in favour of being positive, and I'm all in favour of praising work which is good (for the child). But this is taken to such a point now that the praise becomes meaningless sometimes.

An example. I was teaching a middle set of year 7s (aged 11-12) They were doing some poster work on plant biology for me. I had told them that the first thing to do was to get the science down, then they could make it look nice etc.

Five minutes in I showed the class an example of some good work, that showed the sorts of things I wanted to see.

One of the boys called me over and asked me if I thought his poster was good. He had spent aroubd 10 minutes cutting a wavy line down one side of the poster. So I told him no, I didn't think it was good since he had not done as I asked and he had been cutting wavy lines for about 5 years and I expected more of a boy of 12.

He looked as if I had slapped him. Five minutes later he called me over, his work was good, and I praised him.

If I'd have praised the wavy line he would have continued to bugger about.

Praise if good, but you have to use it sensibly

Praise when justified. Being told off, when appropriate. No wrapping up in cotton wool.

dad's favourite

don't do as I do, do as I say

and I did!

When I used to moan "its not fair" my dad used to say "yeah its raining!!!!!! god it pissed me off.
I agree with OP btw, people bring up kids to bloody softly softly.