Do you and your dp/dh have separate bedrooms? Or would you if you could?

[WideWebWitch]

While browsing This Morning for a pic of Fern, who has apparently lost weight, I read this about separate bedrooms.

I'd LOVE one and in fact when ds is away one of us often sleeps in his room (he has a double bed). It doesn't mean we don't erm, have a full marriage, we do but I love being sprawled diagonally across a double bed on my OWN.

You?

Oh God - I would LOVE my own room !!

For all the reasons already stated - but also - because I loathe hearing dh in our ensuite !!! God - how unromantic to hear grunting poos, farty bottoms and god knows what else !!!

I really really hate it !

I now sleep with an eye mask on - must look like a right old trout - but the light is just on all the time ! Either he's reading, or he's in his wardrobe looking for something - or he's popping to the loo for yet another poo - Oh - incesssantly !!! Next step ear-plugs - after that separate bedrooms !!!

Oh and - did I mention that he takes up too much room !

BM I think this would work better for us tbh - how old are your kids? when did you do it - or have you always lived seperatly?
what are the downsides?

ha ha, no I didn't find a picture of Fern.

Sunnyjim - We did try living together a couple of years ago, for about a month, but neither of us felt we had our own space and because of this argued. It was then that we decided to live apart was the best option. My DS is almost 1 yr and has never know any different. I would say that the only downside are double the amount of bills, other than that I only see positives. I do personally believe a lot of relationships would be better if partners lived separately and think that just because we feel under pressure to do the whole living together thing does not necessarily mean that it is right for everyone.

If one of us is really tired, or ill, then we (generally he) decamps to the spare room. We then set the alarm for 5.30 ish and sleep/ doze the last hour together.

Or if he snores then he gets, what he calls the elbow of doom in his ribs and then he justs decamps.

okay hijack coming up, I am considering a split from DH, don't want to in alot of ways but we aren't happy or coping at all well together. I do still love him and like spending (some) time with him. We lived apart for the first 3 years of our relationship - I was wodnering if a return to that would be better. We would live close - five minutes walk and my hope would be we would enjoy having time together again - even make dates to see each other. plus we'd get time out from DS - ie 2 nights he could stay at his dads house but we'd still be a couple and spend night together at my house, go on holiday together, etc etc.

we're both very independant and need our own space, we're making a lot of compromises living together and I think its hurting us both.

We've had seperate rooms for about a year and half now. I was used to a double bed to myself for many years before we got married and am a VERY restless sleeper. Can only fit a double in the bedroom so not enough room for both of us to sleep properly. DH really needs his sleep as he is on long term recovery from serious injury. When I was preg' I went from cold all the time to roasting all the time so we need different duvet togs too. Much better all round.

However, when we move house (hopefully soon) we are going to make sure the bedroom is big enough for a GIANT bed so we can sleep together again. Well try to anyway.

Sunnyjim - I think it is a great idea - go for it. I really need space from my DH too so completely understand. At least you are trying to help your relationship and you know yourself well.

Must admit one of the things I'm looking forward to about moving house (assuming we ever sell ours...) Is that ds's are going to share a double room which means we'll have a spare room again! Only a single bed, but somewhere to escape to when one of us is ill or not sleeping well - I've missed that for the past 3 years!

Scatterbrain - ROFL at your prodigiously pooing DH

ok, so what do you all do when you go away? this is a major problem for us, as I have got used to kicking DH out in the middle of the night when he breathes in the wrong way but when we go to stay with other people I just don't sleep

Me either - it's crap but after 4 years of hardly any sleep when you get 4 hours in a row it feels like a full night!

is this something women like more than men, do you think?

I quite like sharing a bed with dh and wouldn't want to change that, we do have plenty of room if we want it as we have a king size bed and two single duvets. I've been an insomniac all my life, and it only really improved when I started sharing a bed.

In my ideal world we would have a bedroom which only has a bed in it (maybe a side table each). We would each have our own walk-in wardrobe/dressing room and bathroom which would lead off a foyer to the bedroom rather than the bedroom itself so that there would be no sounds of dh rootling around in the wardrobe or peeing like a carthorse in a millpond.

en suites - ridiculous idea

I have my own roo. It has a double bed, big puffy pillows, the best bedding in the house, dim lights, a big bookcase of books and a big box of evian water. 'Our' room is across the corridor a few feet away. I have to say, I did need space during pregnancy and after the third baby. DH likes space too. Our sex life is probably better, we all sleep better. I have had 4 solid years of sharing a bed with two toddlers so deserve a break. DH and I have the rest of our lives to share a bed if we want to. I have been sleeping in the same bed as him since I was 17 and never had my own room at home so now it feels a real treat. I have this lovely room to go to to relax, I feel like a teeneager all over again!

We do tell each other that it doesn't mean we don't love each other, and I have told most of my friends about it. Sleeping in seperate rooms is more common than people let on, I think. And can be great for relationships. I really need my sleep and would hate to resent DH for disturbing me, I get enough of that from the DC's.

I would love a room on my own

My husband snores like a pig

We have to all intents and purposes as he is abroad six weeks out of seven and has been for six years.

We both admit that we have got used to sleeping apart (much as we love each other) and I must admit that my bedroom,which is very big,very spartan,with a king sized bed with White Company bedlinen and with a view over fields towards Anglesey is something that I enjoy very much indeed.

On my own.

srongteabag - that does sound appealing - i could have posters on the ceiling

teabag, why do you have to tell each other it doesn't mean you don't love each other?

Pointydog - our current en suite is especially ridiculous as the door and loo are in a direct line with the head of the bed so there's no escaping the sight or sound of weeing.

maybe appeals to fetishists, bran

I'll be sure to mention it in the property details when we sell this place pointydog.

We don't HAVE to tell each other that it doesn't mean we don't love each other, we just do, and only if it crops up in conversation In the same way we tell each other we love each other. I suppose it's better than telling him I hate his snoring/smelly breath/nudging me/talking in sleep. ANd to be honest I feel loved by DH for encouraging me to keep the room nice and go there if I need peace. DOn't know what I will do when the baby wants his own room though!

would love my own room. an oasis of calm with white linen a bookcase, one bedside cabinet a small light, blackout blinds and silence,

instead of a superkingsize with various combos of me dh dd1 and dd2. childrens toys tucked in dh snoring and being called out.

You know - maybe i just need a full nights sleep!