So this is how I'm going to remember ds's first birthday...

[moominmama86]

...by the police arriving and me having to explain that, yes, I'd called them, yes, there had been an argument, no, we're okay now, no, they really don't need to come in the house and check, no, no-one's hurt and yes, I'm sorry I've wasted their time...

I can't believe this. I just don't know how to deal with this crap anymore. My family is falling apart. I just want to run away. I don't think I can do this anymore. I need some help but I don't know where to start.

moomin- try not to worry FIL did something like this. He made MIL feel terrible for sending him, said she had left him to die there (despite the fact she went everyday and the staff actually asked her to stay away as it was interferring with his treatment because he had so many visitors) You know she will be fine, its her illness doing this not the real her. FIL actually couldn't remember some of the things he'd said/done over the months. Big hugs X

Moominmama - I agree absolutely with Luckymum - I have some experience of dealing with mental illness in my own family, and know how isolating it can be.... you have to keep telling yourself that the person you are seeing and hearing now in your Mum is the manifestation of the illness, not the "real" person. Things will hopefully improve now she is getting some treatment, but it will take time... she is definitely now in the best place for her.

Moomin, hope you have a lovely time in town with ds. Hopefully your mum will soon be much better and those letters will be just part of the past. I think you have behaved so well - you have been brave and unselfish. Enjoy your break. ((()))

Moomin,
I've just read thru all this thread, and feel soo sorry for you in this situation.

I know you will feel guilty about your mum going into hospital, but from what you have said it's the only way any of you can move forward.

I'm sorry about the letters you've found. Try not to open them, put them somewhere out of the way.

I think your mother is using a huge amount of emotional blackmail against you and your Dad. My father had depression and alcohol problems, and used our emotions against us for years. He frequently threatened suicide, always to get us to do what he wanted in the scheme of things. He would ring us from the hospital and beg us to bring him home, he'd promise to take his Meds, stay off the booze, all that. Within a week we'd be back to square one. .

You will need to be really strong to avoid that trap, but, do keep telling yourself that your mother's hospitalisation is important treatment for ALL of you.