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Original poster

Do you think you'll help your children financially when they are grown up?

129 replies

emkana · 16/02/2007 21:13

Or will you spend the money on yourself?

My parents helped us with the purchase of our house and also with other bits and bobs, for which I am very grateful.

If we are doing well in later years I fully intend to do the same for our children - but from a discussion I heard recently on Jeremy Vine it seems not everybody agrees with me there.

What do you all think - should your children cope by themselves, or will you help them if you have the means?

OP posts:
LucyJones · 16/02/2007 21:14

Tbh I doubt we'll be able to afford to.
If we can though we will.
My parents helped me, although I never asked them for money, they have always been very generous.
Dh's parents have helped when they could too.
But we will never earn as much as either of our parents did unfortunately

Carmenere · 16/02/2007 21:15

Yes definitely, my parents have helped all of us(5 in all!!)and I will definitely try to help my dd.

JanH · 16/02/2007 21:15

I'm banking on ours helping us, actually, emkana

Unless we do what SenoraPostrophe suggested, sell our house and divide it among them - and then spend our time staying with them in turn - either way it'll be a 2-way thing!

Gobbledigook · 16/02/2007 21:17

Yes, I'm sure we will.

I can't stand to see anyone struggling. I've helped my brother out on occasion too. I'm all for encouraging people to stand on their own 2 feet but sometimes circumstances are out of our control, or we just make a mistake/poor judgement - if I can help a family member when this happens then I will.

If someone is just shite with money then I'm less inclined - they need a lesson in financial management, not hand outs.

PeachesMcLean · 16/02/2007 21:17

No. DS's granny has set up a rather nice trust fund for him. He'll be helping us out.

saadia · 16/02/2007 21:18

If they need it and I'm in a position to do so I wouldn't hesitate to help them. I can't understand people who wouldn't.

Gingerbear · 16/02/2007 21:20

Yes. DD has a building society account, and investments building up for when she is 18.
I have started saving for this baby already.
We are in the fortunate position of having a smallish mortgage, DH has benefitted from company sharesave schemes, and we are well covered for life insurance and pensions.
My mum and dad paid my way through Uni, for my wedding and have always given me, my brother and sister a helping hand in times of need.

Thats what parents are there for.

Ladymuck · 16/02/2007 21:20

Well I definitely want my children to be financially independent from me. It is a definite part of their journey to adulthood, and I'm not sure that they'll be real men until they achieve it. We'll help them until they finish ft education but I would want both of them to become and enjoy being fully independent.

That said I am sure that we will also give generous gifts from time to time.

Bobalina · 16/02/2007 21:22

I aim to help my children financially when they are grown. We don't have much in the way of income but I still see to it that money is put aside for them in savings accounts and direct debit payments into their child trust fund. It's not going to be a great deal but if I had more, I'd give more.

smittenkitten · 16/02/2007 21:22

this divides my DP and me. i reckon we work hard to give DS best start we can, we're saving so he can study, or have deposit for house etc, but after that I reckon he's on his own. DP intends to keep supporting him until she dies, and would even sell our house to help him buy one (WTF???).

ThisValenTime · 16/02/2007 21:23

I hope I can...have always been independent since my saturday job until I had ds at aged 30. Then it all went wrong (as absent fatehr) so I have had to ask for help otherwise I'm not sure what I would have done.

I found it hard to ask tho...........

Monkeytrousers · 16/02/2007 21:26

I really hope I can. It really gives you an advantage - as far as I can see around me anyway. I'll be inheriting my mothers Avon jewelly collection (don't even know how to spell it!). That'll buy us a new boiler.

Monkeytrousers · 16/02/2007 21:27

not

colditz · 16/02/2007 21:27

No. Because if I have anything to do with it, they will be better equipped for the world, with good jobs and good wages.

moondog · 16/02/2007 21:28

Yes
My parents don't help us at all though.
We had an expensive education then were left to our own devices.

ScoobyDooooo · 16/02/2007 21:29

If they need it & we have it then Yes we will

LucyJones · 16/02/2007 21:30

I think wisely investing Child Trust Funds, money given as presents etc can go a long way with university fees, cars, house deposists hopefully. I really don't see the need to be a poor pensioner while ds and dd don't botehr getting holiday/weekend jobs.
What I can't undertand is people who leave teir Child Trust Funds lieing around and just forget to do anything with them - very irresponsible imo

Gobbledigook · 16/02/2007 21:30

For me the wages don't come into it - it doesn't matter what you earn, there are still times you might need help.

I'd fully encourage my children to be independent, as I was, but I'd never watch them suffer if they were struggling. Everyone needs help at some point in their life, sometimes it's financial and as a parent I'd help in any way possible.

If the need for money was a deeper issue I'd try to address that, rather than just throwing money at a greater problem.

franke · 16/02/2007 21:32

I hope they will value financial independence. But if they really need financial help and I can give it, I will unconditionally.

Califrau · 16/02/2007 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

unknownrebelbang · 16/02/2007 21:32

Yes. My parents (and ILs) helped us in a small way when we set up home, and we're in a better position to help our children, so we will.

In fact, FIL has purchased our last three cars for us (and SIL), under the pretext of us borrowing the money from him and then him writing it off iykwim.

It won't be handed over on a platter however, they'll need to be making an effort, but yes we'll assist.

I'd rather help them when they need it, than wait for them to inherit it when we die. Not that we've got loadsamoney, lol.

soph28 · 16/02/2007 21:38

Absolutely. Helping your children out when they are grown up does not mean that they won't be independent, financially or otherwise. We have never asked for money but my parents and PIL have been extremely generous in helping us out from time to time. We would have managed somehow, but it has made things easier. My parents said that they wished their parents had been able to help them out, so they definitely wanted to help their children out.

LowFatMilkshake · 16/02/2007 21:44

As long as we have our roof over our head, any spare money will go to help my children if they need it!

Mum never had much but was always buying extra loo rolls for us or leaving £10 notes hidden in our coat pockets. She did as much as she could for us, and I will be the same!

saffy202 · 16/02/2007 21:59

Like smittenkitten we are a bit divided. I don't want them to struggle but I want them to realise that you have to work for things the want in life. Dh however is looking into sorting out pensions for them!

nikkie · 16/02/2007 22:00

Mine have helped me a lot and I hope that I can do the same for my kids, though atm they already have a lot more than I do!

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