I don't have big piles.

[QueenMortifauxcado]

Which is mightily impressive for sitting on a throne all day and existing primarily on carbs (and the odd avocado), isn't it?

Anyone else got an arse of steel?

She is very beautiful, and just nicely toasty now.

Be careful not to get too sloshed with that prince, Unicorn, you're supposed to be a pure and noble beast.

Unicorn - feel free to take the Phoenix out for a ride. She can sit on your horn.

Never did get to have that drink, Unicorn. RL got in the way, so annoying.

Keep away from me Pax - RL is as contagious as hell!

Is that what Dettol is for? It helps against real life? Do I drink it or give it to my family?

That largely depends on whether you want Real Life to catch you up again at a later date.

I generally give it to whoever is dragging me back into conscious interaction with human beings, washing machines, etc i.e. - family.

I am sending you my copy of "Cooking with Dettol: A Guide to Avoiding Prosecution". I'd like it back if you don't mind, when you've finished with it. I particularly recommend the "Dettol and Warfarin Surprise" on page 17. I usually replace the banana withpilchhards.

Thanks, HappyFlappy. 'Real Life' is extremely hazardous to dragons, unicorns and phoenixes.

It's not exactly brilliant for us non-mythical creatures either *Dragon.

Ambrosia? Or would you prefer a cup of the famous MumsNet Lapdance Shoeshine tea?

Lapdance shoeshine sound a bit less final than dettoling them, even if itis a bit pretentious.

Hmph. Humans off doing that 'real life' thing again?

Well, that RL thing and also getting mixed up in all kinds of stupid bunfights elsewhere on MN. All very boring and time consuming.

A bunfight? I like buns, did you think to bring any home with you?

Eating buns?! Think of all the carbs, they are made from WHEAT FLOUR! White, wheaty powder full of starch and hell knows what else! Read a couple of food threads on MN and stock up on uncooked quinoa and moon harvested flax seeds for a treat. It's a slippery slope from buns to cupcakes.

I can't find any evidence that dragons ever suffer from coeliac disease or diabetes so I think I'm safe with a bun or two. Or cupcakes.

t's a slippery slope from buns to cupcakes.

Damn right!

And I'm at the top of that slope, polishing my skis so that my downward trajectory is faster than a speeding bullet!

CAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkeeeessssssssssssssssss . . .

Since easter is on the way will there be hot cross bun fights?

I often get hot and very cross indeed when involved in a proper bun fight. Especially when it is a serious one, parking for instance, or public eating or pyjamas on the school run .

public eating

How very dare you!

That was a cute up pear - always an acceptable al fresco repast at any level of society!

CUTTED UP PEAR - YOU BASTID AUTO-BLOODY-CORRECT

AS GOD IS MY WITNESS I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU CYBERNETIC SOCIOPATH!!!!!!!

angry]

I only eat in public when greedy. Never pear though, cute or ugly.

So almost constantly, then Pax?

What is wrong with pear?

A properly ripe pear is a bit too juicy and slurpy to be consumed in polite society.

Don't think we're in danger of one of those, dragon.

A ripe pear, or a polite society?

The latter. Although probably either now you mention it. The greengrocer abandoned us some time ago and nothing will grow. Maybe the leg fish turned into the soil will help that. What's it like out there now?