I don't have big piles.

[QueenMortifauxcado]

Which is mightily impressive for sitting on a throne all day and existing primarily on carbs (and the odd avocado), isn't it?

Anyone else got an arse of steel?

Very fond of a Jammie Dodger.

Anyone want some ? ? Trying to fill them up with carbs so they don't eat the poor defenceless whatever-it-is.

The corgis, OTOH, seem to have found some sort of bone to chew on.

Daddy's back! Let them play with him, he was rather fond of the corgis, they used to entertain mummy whilst he was out gallivanting.

Chief Egg Doctor!

Do I get a badge?

Pax - is that "Daddy's back" as in "Daddy's returned" or "Daddy's back" as in "Daddy's spinal column"?

Either way, as long as they are enjoying themselves. I love to see a dog having fun.

Now - does anyone know how to take an Egg's temperature? Or what it should be?

Less than 71C. But other than that I don't know, doesn't that depend on what it is?

Oh - yes.

I'll have some and , thanksDragon.

I like carbs.

BTW - Pom bears are on offer in Sainsbury's this week.

Just sayin'

Pom bear, anyone?

No idea Queen.

I am Egg Doctor by Royal Appointment, not on merit, though I have sent my thirty bob off to the MortificadoRoyalCollegeofEggSurgeons to get my certificate.

I'm sure that when it comes, I will automatically know what temperature - what was that cracking noise??????

'Scuse me. Duty calls.

Aww. It's sort of cute. And a bit warm Will it always smell like that? What are phoenixes made of?

Magma and feathers surrounding a delicious yolky centre, I think.

I think the smell might be the nappy.

Umm can you tell it to stop trying to hug me? I dropped the flame proofing when the dragons calmed down.

Good thing I'm flameproof anyway. I suppose it'll be salamanders next.

Oh look, it likes pombears . Much cuter than harpies and pterodactyls.

Shoo! Shoo! And someone put out the curtains!

It's very pretty isn't it? Who would have thought that receiving 2nd degree burns would be so charming?!

I think it's a girl - it was trying my shoes on this morning. Is there any way to unmelt a wellie?

I've made myself a sort of gauntlet out od Brillo pads which is helping a bit - she can sit on my arm and I can carry her round (She's not fully fledged yet so flying is currently out of the question - probably for the best, seeing as her poo ignites on contact with air. Must have a high phosphorus content or something)

Also - please stop feeding her Pom bears, Dragon. She loves the but they give her hiccups. Do ears grow back? I expect I'll find out.

You took take the brillo pad protective clothing even further, Happy.

She should be cooling down by now.

Not taking any chances. Do we have fireproof doors installed? Also, do we have doors?

Speaking of 2nd degree burns, I have some rather, er, sensitive ones.

Could anyone bring over a vat of foof cream? Anyone? Please?

I expect those are just friction burns Princess.

That frock is actually surprisingly comfortable Pax compared to immolation. I'm working on a matching hat ATM, but with my ears being caracoled it keeps slipping over my eyes.

I may have to turn it into a balaclava.

*charcoaled, nor caracoled, whatever the hell that it

Will have to get sloshed on my own then, like a proper Billy-no-mates.

Pax come drink with me?
I think I'm in love with the Phoenix, may I help look after it? Unicorns have flame proof fur! probably why dragons don't like the taste
Also very honoured to know the dragons don't eat us!