I don't have big piles.

[QueenMortifauxcado]

Which is mightily impressive for sitting on a throne all day and existing primarily on carbs (and the odd avocado), isn't it?

Anyone else got an arse of steel?

Don't start on your 'special' version of God Save The Queen!

May be the rum talking but I kind of want to hear this...

Can't type THAT on the internet! She'll be sober tomorrow and cut my head orf.

I can do it now if you'd prefer

I need my head. That's where I sprout my wisdom from and also where I pour the rum. I'd have to walk around with an IV drip for the rum and take up Morse code.

Or semaphore Pax.

Get yourself some nice flags.

Better get practising in case she does cut my head off then

Those flags are quite garish. What about moose code, could you try that instead?

Moose code? I've never found moose very communicative.

Smartarse. Though TBF,
.. ..-. / ... .... . / . .- -. - / - .-. ... . / -.-. - -.. . / ... .... . / ... .... - ..- .-.. -.. / .... .- ...- . / ... .- .. -.. / ... -

Don't think much of your spelling dragon if the translator is correct but no I meant moose code. Just wanted to see what pax came up with tbf.

You try typing with dragon feet.

Can't do moose code. Meese are stupid.

Well there was that case of the three blind meese but they were visually impaired so I don't think that's quite a fair assessment. What does that have to do with moose based communication methods anyway?

What does that have to do with moose based communication methods anyway?

Everything! I can't possibly express all my complex thoughts and emotions in Meese.

Well meese are small furry critters probably distracted by the cheese cellars so I'm not surprised you're finding it challenging but what does that have to do with the moose?!

Did someone say something?

Ooh! A cheese cellar!

Oooo look, meese!

ooh, snacks!

Can I get rid of these ribbons now, paxillin?

Torch them for a show. The ribbons, not the meese. The meese are cute. Wonder how prettily they will frollick once I got them pissed on my overproof-rum-aftershave-cocktail.

Rum-marinated meese sound delicious.

They'll taste a bit... male though. I diluted the rum with Blenheim Bouquet and Old Spice to make sure there is enough.

So do the meese know any codes?

He'll eat just about anything.