Oooh can we have a thread about things you said and thought about your Precious First Born which make you blush looking back on it

[Anchovy]

Following on from the other thread which was veering that way.

My mum said she had seen a baby on the telly who was the same age as DS (three months) who seemed more alert than DS. I cried into a muslin.

DH took photos all through the C section - then i posted then to everyone I knew...friends, work collegues, everyone...I only realised how graphic they were when DH's brother used them in his lecture to his anatomy students on childbirth.

My MW came around to our place the day after DS was born (we went home same day) and I was shattered. House in chaos, etc. Took me and DH nearly 15 minutes to clean his poo nappy and MW very sweetly enquired how the first night went. I promptly burst into tears, convinced that something was wrong with him because he didn't have a routine! MW, very calmly told me: 'Baby doesn't come with a routine dear, you have to put him in one'. .

DS was about 5 months when his little Mr, woke up for the first time. DH very proudly announced this to all sundry saying: 'That's my boy!'

Oh this is embarrasing but i asked my parents and PIL when they looked after him to read to him (as i did) because it helped comfort him.
I only stopped when i realised his constant crying throughout it wasnt the result we were looking for!

i've just remembered that i also used to write down what time he had milk, what time he slept, and showed it proudly to the HV - i think she realised i was clearly insane and told me not to get so hung up on it... however next time i saw her she asked how often he fed and slept and i had no idea! LOL!

oh the shame.....

Remember WWW's one step and stairgate confession?

Well, we've got NO STAIRS and a stairgate....it just divides our lounge from our hallway, you know, reinforcement, because the door in the very same doorway wasn't sufficient safety measure. And there's an extra gate boxed up in the shed. Just in case. Oh bloody hell...

I'm already ashamed of it, especially since DS1 has taken to slamming himself between the door and the gate (which we always keep closed).

Tears in my eyes just typing this...!!!

So yes, I'm currently 6mo pg with number 2, maybe I should stop recording DS1's every meal, nap, and potty break now...(he's 11mo)

My Mum flew over from Australia after DS was born, and to thank her I found the most gorgeous photo of DS and had it blown up and framed for her to take home. She cried when she saw it. I thought he looked so lovely - not like those squishy spotty newborns you see. The other day I was going through photos on the pc and saw the one I'd blown up for Mum. DS looks exactly like those squichy spotty newborns! Now I cringe at the thought of the blown up photo on my parents wall! Now I know why she cried!

And I too remember feelimg so sad for all the other Mums in Mothers Group who had DCs far less perfect than mine, and also feeling guilty about taking my DD as she would show the other babies up ...course, in my case it was true

I also minded another baby whose mum would phone every hour while she was at work
"Has he had a bottle yet? Did he take it all? What do you mean no, he's x weeks old he should be taking x amount. What if he is dehydrated, or hungry"
"Has he had a poo yet?(this is an hour after she dropped him off). No, oh dear, he pood at this time yesterday didn't he, you said he did, and the day before, surely he should doing one at this time today"
"I'm just ringing to check how X is? What do you mean he's sleeping, you gave him his last bottle at 10am, it's now after 2, he needs his next bottle he needs to have them four hourly.. Can you waken him? Well what's he doing in the buggy? What do you mean you're going to school, it's raining . he'll get wet" I obviously had a raincover on said buggy.
The classic was when my DH came looking for me one morning in the work car. I had only had him a week or two. The child's mum had called the house, and my mobile, and not got an answer. I'd had mine in my bag, and hadn't heard it ringing. She phoned the guardroom of the base we were living on, wanting the RAFP to go looking for me, she was convinced something had happened to us, and they got DH. She had been crying and hysterical on the phone, because she hadn't been able to get in touch with me. Dh said we were probably out, and she replied "out, how can she go out with X, he might catch something?"

my sis is experiencing pfb syndrome. He is now just one yr old and she took me aside last time we were visiting her with our one 3 yr old dd( she lives in another country so can't do this often)and telling us that they had all found the visit a bit stressful because we just make so much noise.. and they like their house to be peaceful.
I CANNOT wait till he is 3 years old!!!

I taped black-out-blinds to the window frame so absolutely no light would come in. In the middle of the night, it was impossible to check if DD was actually breathing. So, I used the night-vision feature on the camcorder. I didn't actually 'record' her, I just used it to see that she was moving/breathing etc. How sad...

iCod

Lots of bonkers things posted here...why choose mine? FGS there are worse things to do with a child than taking him to massage etc.

No, he probably doesn't get anything out of massage or music lessons but it gets us out of the house where we can spend time with other mums and babies. All to soon I shall be back in work so I am making the most of it all.

At least I know it is PFB and can laugh about it...but this is a light-hearted thread and your comment regarding my post was a bit OTT I thought.

TravellingontheClaphamOmnibus - can I assume you haven't been here that long? Cod is a mumsnet institution and is well known for saying it as it is. Don't take it personally she really is quite funny once you get the hang of her.

If anyone left a door open i would stomp towards it and close it - obviously my baby couldn't risk being in a draught.
I wouldn't let dh hold ds one evening because he had had a pint at lunchtime - so might not be fully in control of himself

That would be dh having the pint of beer, not ds

ellceeell I had a 2 drink rule in our house. I had a strop at my sil dp after she suggested he held my dd & I knew he had more than 2 at lunch

Cod is also as tactless as they come, so if you were offended, there was probably a reason for it!

Well said beansprout

well I've lurked for a long time and of course had noticed cod and her various names. But mostly I cannot decipher her appalling typing so ignore her many posts.

Can I just say, this thread has me crying with laughter!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you all so much

Texan - I particularly love your use of the night vision function on your camcorder.....classic!

PMSL at this thread.

I actually did a website for my PFB with her birth story, vital statistics, photos (including scan photos FFS) and I e-mailed the URL to everyone I knew. I would then post weekly photo updates on it as well as a diary written as if SHE had written it "this week I had my first swim" etc etc. How

mrsm by bil did this last year for my newphew who was born in feb.

Did anyone else have that strange feeling when they left hospital for the first time with DC1 of disbelief that the world appeared to be carrying on as normal? I mean, didn't they all KNOW that a WORLD-CHANGING event had just occurred? How dare they carry on with their normal business

dh built a website for our PFB ahe emailed everyone the url this was nearly 8 yrs ago

When we talk ds out for his first walk, I expected everyone to stop and stare as we walked past.