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Original poster

He won't stop crying............HELP!!

67 replies

busybee123 · 11/06/2004 08:15

My ds is 17 weeks old and every night about 1 a.m he wakes up and thats it.......no more sleep for me for the rest of the night!! he just won't stop crying. He wont take a dummy or a bottle and hates bring swaddled. I have even tried putting him in my bed last night purely as a last resort to get some sleep, but he didn't like that either. He usually exhausts himself and drops off eventually about 6 a.m by which time I have to get up with the other children. But this morning he is still going now.....he has had a bottle and some breaskfast as well....but he just keeps going.....I am at the end of my tether....had about 6 hours sleep in the past 4 nights. I feel like a jibbering wreck and a total faliure cos I can't pacify him no matter what I do. DH doesnt hear a thing and sleeps through it all. He knows what is going on though and says if i wake him he will help...but its like getting blood out of a stone waking him!! and even then he is in no fit state to do anything!! I don't like to disturb him as he has to go to work the next day, and he has a very hard job labouring so he needs his energy. I have mentioned it to the health visitor and she just says its a phase i have got to sit out. But I can't.....i have 2 other children to see to. I have got to get ds2 ready for nursery this afternoon but i have no energy to do anything. I just want to collapse in front of the telly with the kids and go to sleep!!!! [we need a bleary eyed, knackered expression!!] Can anyone suggest anything? PLEEEEEEEASE!?!?!?!?!

OP posts:
misdee · 11/06/2004 08:19

do u have anyone who can watch the kids for you whilst you get some sleep?

is it a painful cry that your ds has (think colic here maybe)? is he sleeping during the day? nappy rash? where does he sleep? sorry for all the questions, but am trying to think what might be the problem.

and as for your HV saying to wait it out, well she obviously doesnt have much experience at being sleep depreived. it can make you irrational, moody, clumsy, feeling ill etc.

zebra · 11/06/2004 08:36

He's not too hot, is he?

Original poster
busybee123 · 11/06/2004 08:36

misdee i have noone til dh gets home. by which time i am frazzled and the kids are ready for bed anyway. he has suffered terribly with colic all day for a while but changing his milk and using the colief drops have helped that a lot. Its not an in pain cry. its pretty low pitch really. i just dont know what else i can do

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busybee123 · 11/06/2004 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

alicatsg · 11/06/2004 09:22

Have you tried a white noise machine?> we had one that made wave noises and that was the only thing that got ds off to sleep at that stage. He was exactly the same - the good news is it suddenly stopped at about 20 weeks and since then he's been a pretty good sleeper.

musica · 11/06/2004 09:26

You poor thing. What time does he go to bed? We had a policy of putting the baby to bed really late, so that their chunk of sleep co-incided with ours. Could it be his teeth hurting him? Or it could be a growth spurt - whenever ours have grown, they have woken much more in the night.

Hope this improves soon!

aloha · 11/06/2004 09:28

How much does he sleep during the day? If he's going back to sleep all day he might just be confusing day and night, and it might help to try to keep him awake during the day more (though I fully accept that is a LOT easier said than done).
What happens if you leave him for ten minutes or so? You say it is low level crying, not screaming and he might get himself back off if you leave him. Is he too hot? What does he wear to sleep in? Do you use a sleeping bag?
I think you might also try taking him to your Gp just to rule out any medical cause (though I think that is unlikely).
My son was a TERRIBLE sleeper - would be up for hours and hours in the night like yours, so I totally sympathise. YOu really do have to get your dh to help - you simply CANNOT go on like this. You will get ill and that will be no good to anyone. Dh and I had a shift system. You go to bed as early as you can - 9 or 10pm. Then if the baby wakes at 1am, you get up with him until 3 - 4am, and then switch, so your dh then takes him from 4am until 6 - 7am. This way you get at least 5 or 6 hours a night in two bursts. It isn't exactly sleep heaven, but it's a lot better than what you are enduring at the moment. Sit down and talk to your dh and come up with a strategy. He is willing to help, so PLEASE take advantage of that. It's his baby too. I honestly think my dh is much closer to our ds because of the hours he spent with him in the night.
BTW, I know he has a hard job, but so do you!
Good luck and much sympathy to you.

aloha · 11/06/2004 09:29

Yes, a bit of Calpol before bed might help if it is teeth. Is he drooling? The GP could also rule out an ear infection.
How long has this been going on?

aloha · 11/06/2004 09:30

BTW, don't feel like a failure. My ds was very similar and now he's a good sleeper. It's not your fault.

Original poster
busybee123 · 11/06/2004 09:40

he goes to bed about 8.30. this has been going on for about the past 4 nights. he doesnt sleep much in the day either. he is still crying now!!! he is always sick after he has had calpol for some reason.

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Original poster
busybee123 · 11/06/2004 09:42

aloha dh leaves the house about half six in the morning to go to work. it is impossible to waks him as he is so tired firm working so hard. it is easier to do it myself than try and wake him up!!

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Flip · 11/06/2004 09:43

Does he calm when you hold him during the night? If he does, then maybe he just wants comfort. Like some of the others said, white noise. Ds2 goes to sleep listening to Lionel Ritchie for the soft music. Ds1 used to go to sleep listening to Boyzone. Then it went to Bryan Adams and now Def Leopard (he's five) .

Music has always helped my two because hey associate the music with sleep. So if they wake during the night the music goes back on. In the day when it's nap time I would put the music on then to.

If he doesn't settle when you hold him then maybe it could be his teeth, wind or an under lying problem. But I really think you need some help from your dh. We used to have a shift change with ds1 because he was a difficult sleeper. Ds2 is an angel but I don't think it will last.

sponge · 11/06/2004 09:44

You should probably see a GP and see if there's anything medical although the fact that it is low key crying makes it sound like he's not in pain.
However a friend of mine had exactly the same problem and her dd was eventually dx'd with reflux (not being sick, just miserable and crying al the time). They now have medicine for this and within a few days their lives have been transformed - she now sleeps 7 hours a night. So worth getting checked.

Original poster
busybee123 · 11/06/2004 09:45

flip i just cannot console him in any way. even picking him up doesnt help. have tried music. he screams louder

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Flip · 11/06/2004 09:47

ds2 has reflux and when I don't have any of his thick & Easy and Gaviscon with me he's terrible. Very unsettled and squirming all the time with gripes in his tummy. He didn't have projectile vomit just lots and lots of small ones. He also coughed all the time because of it irratating his throat. Also it made him wheezey and rattle. His weight gain was normal so it took a peadiatrican to diagnose him.

Flip · 11/06/2004 09:50

Busybee - ds2 does this when he's tired and has done from about 12 weeks. When ds2 does it, it's like a cry of I'm so tired and I just can't get to sleep because everything's bugging me. When ds2 get's like that all I can do it hold him and try my best to sooth him until he cries it out. It can take hours sometimes but I have dh who helps me when I suddenly lost control. It must be hard doing it on your own because the cry is endless and there's nothing that pasify's. I feel for you so much.

Original poster
busybee123 · 11/06/2004 10:08

ive never had to deal with this before....my other 2 were really good (although now we have the tantrums and terrible twos!!)

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Original poster
busybee123 · 11/06/2004 10:56

is it too early for him to be teething? my other 3 didnt cut any till about 9 months old.......BTW he is STILL crying!!

OP posts:
charlieplus3 · 11/06/2004 11:03

My ds had two teeth at 20 weeks and 6 by the time he was 24 weeks. My Dd however didnt cut one till about 10 months. Its quite easy to blame things on teething when it could be something else. Get his ears looked at so its one thing you can rule out.

Flip · 11/06/2004 11:07

Phone your GP busybee. Tell them you want an appointment today. Don't ASK for an appointment, DEMAND one. If I phone and say, I'd like an appointment, there's none available. If I phone and say I NEED to see someone today, I usually get one within half an hour.

If you ds has an ear infection he'll be in agony and since this has only been going on four days, maybe there is something wrong. Get him checked out for your own sake.

aloha · 11/06/2004 11:12

I know your dh works hard and is tired, but if he goes to bed at 10pm and you wake him at 4.30 - 5am, he has still had a solid, healthy 6.5 to 7hours sleep, and you can go back to bed for an hour or an hour and a half before you go to bed. Your DH must help you if this continues - he wants to, and you need it. He cannot physically be that hard to rouse! As I said, if you go on like this you will become ill and then what will he do? Also, you should try going to bed when the baby does for a short while. That way you could get five hours in before he wakes at 1am. And take him to your GP to rule out any physical causes.
What are his daytime sleeps like?

aloha · 11/06/2004 11:13

The fact that it has only just started means that there may well be a physical cause.

Original poster
busybee123 · 11/06/2004 12:13

well he has FINALLY just dropped off.....after nearly 12 hours of screaming!!! i rang the doctor and he said that he is probably just teething and to give him calpol....great!!!

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cuppy · 11/06/2004 12:57

Poor you

Hope he's still sleeping now and that you are getting some zzz's too?

What a crap G.P - I'd still book an appointment , or is there an NHS walk in clinic nearby?

Hope it gets better soon , keep us updated xx

albert · 11/06/2004 13:13

Oh you poor thing, like many other MNs I've been there too. It got so bad that we were threatened with evicition by our neighbours - not what I needed at the time! Anyway, I went back to the Dr for the third time on the subject and DEMANDED to see a pediatrician (sp) who immediatly diagnosed asthma (which had infact been my diagnosis as I too am asthmatic but Dr wouldn't listen). It may be just a phase but do get it checked out for your sake as well as his.