Mornington Crescent?!

[Eggsbutnobacon]

Will somebody please please explain to me what this is all about?

Neat move, Andrew - have you been reading Latymer on Ecclesiastical Options again? I'm going to call a Twisted Transept and process to Church Stretton.

Well Irene after I took charge of eighteen editions of Latymer I decided I had had enough of it. It was when a member of the MC Council told me that she had deciphered the dirty joke in the Mycenean Greek text on page 811 of the forty-second edition that I cried enough - not least because her translation was a bit too gross even for my easy-going tastes. For one thing, I don't believe they had carpet-sweepers when that text was written, and for another what she suggested was morally wrong and physically impossible.

It can only be Bishop Auckland, can't it?

I am not so sure Bishop Auckland is within the rules for MC believers, after the spell of David Jenkins as the Bishop of Durham. The divisions he called about the literal existence of the third lift at MC, over the birth of the Jubilee line and the resurrection of Highgate (High Level) platforms (for tourists) were felt well into the 1990s.

So I have to play for the first time the Gloucestershire and Warwickshire (1947) rule and move to Bishop's Cleeve.

All right Saints - I respect but do not share your doubts and we will all be off to Canterbury East.

Take notice that the amateur version of the Game of Games is back on Radio Four. There are six editions of ISIHAC on Monday evenings starting 27 June and it is likely that three of them will feature that poor watered-down version which is the best that the BBC can do. When I think of the hours and hours wasted on this exhibition of "football" as I think it is called in France . . . just think of the public benefit if we could play top-class MC instead.

The Marquess sends his regards and promises to come and see us when the British Consul springs him from durance vile.

Hey oop!

Wigan

On the day before the referendum, Maud? Technically that's valid but it's a bit risky.

I will not take advantage. I therefore offer you Ely.

Whatever happens tonight remember please that MC is older than the EU or the UN or even the Entente Cordiale. We shall not flag or fail. We shall not be moved. They shall not pass. Rally round the flag. Roll out the barrel. Bottoms up.

And above all: Drink Canada Dry!

Dear fellow MCers. I have been in some sort of Purgatory - Nidd limbo for most of June.

Having now used the fandangly search thingummabob (I stalked your nn, dear Andrew) I have now wended my way back.

It was very dark in that box.

Now then. At the certain risk of being completely wiped off the Colonel's annual turkey canape jamboree invitational, I shall REMAIN in Westminster

The Colonel is a convinced Remainer but in his honour and that of the ECJ let's hie us even unto Luxembourg-Ville.

The Admiral says that if we don't return his plus-fours he will have us all banned from the Central Line for a week. Not much of a threat, is it?

Given that, when last I saw him, the Admiral was in his usual daywear of a Givenchy dress accessorised with pearls and an airgun - when will his nurses ever learn? - I doubt that he cares much about those plus-fours. In the interests of balance and as a sop to the Brexiteers

Kinshasa

I'm terribly afraid that that may have been my airgun Maud - it got left in a backstairs closet after a particularly confusing game of Sardines, where everyone thought they were the original Sardine and the maids found us all three days later, one by one, delirious and out of gin.

Hop skip and jump to Wandsworth , chums!

Fast we were concerned, we had heard rumours, they weren't pleasant.
Left yourself wide open there-only one move possible Penge West. Eyethangkew.
Well as much as I would love to applaud the old man's political savvy and altruism, it all comes down to two things, being able to sail through European customs and that ugly,, ugly farrago concerning a certain blond buffoon and (cover your ears Andrew) that total wazzock Farage when they attempted to enforce the "Secret Protocols of the MC society. (Excluding Bradshaws)" which of course is an absolute fabrication. It was a good thing the Chief Constable was a very dear friend of my darling brother Sebastian or DF was looking at a ten stretch. Again.

I am always worried about stations whose names end or begin with West as a separate name. As for Penge, this collection of houses and shops south of Camberwell is a strange place to move to.

The Chief Constable, Commissioner of Police, or whatever title he or she goes under would be most concerned at allegations that friendship has influenced a decision as to whether or not incarceration and therefore exile from any proper form of MC should take place.

I cannot imagine that the one with blonde hair aforementioned would play MC, as he demonstrated no evidence of knowledge of the finer parts of London during the eight years of vanity projects he called a two term Mayoralty.

As for triple jump, as the games of the 30th Olympiad called it, I have no wish to partake as part of a game of MC. One should quietly and demurely enter a train carriage. I do so and move to Balham now it has reopened after the flooding this morning.

Saints you are of course quite correct as regards the proper comportment of self - I forgot myself in the exuberance of leaving Nidd.

I shall, if i may, sweep regally to Clapham - based on a temperature of regulo 8.4, which one rarely sees nowadays.

Dear me, I detect some incursions into this thread of what is bizarrely known as the 'real world'.

As I consider plebiscites inherently unsound - since we abandoned the property franchise this country's government has become ever more erratic - I have no hesitation in appealing to the Lex Imperia and hightailing it to

Roma Termini

I think we need some artistic viewing and so off to Venice

Irene Rome has never been the same since they allowed railways and horseless carriages, has it?

Venice is all very well but a bit wet. Streets flooded, as they say. I'm going to Florence. Last one in the Arno is a sissy.

Well, it is a bugger to drive ones Maserati from The station to Harry's Bar that's for sure.
Well, in the words of Mr Ure (it means nothing to me, oh) Vienna.

It's Kitzbuhel Hannernkahm for me, to view the mountain.

No wonder I lost you all. You are all on the 'Grand Tour'. Soave for me tonight.

And now some Riesling

Hamburg

I feel cornered and am dallying with Bordeaux, but with a swift vintner's double bluff will proceed to Bristol, Temple Meads. Is it too late for sherry? (Hic)

Ah, yes, the elegantly distinctive and distinctively elegant blue bottle. ::uncorks another:: perhaps we should now have a wee dram

Jura

Maud, I think we've had too many. (wobble off of bar stool). There isn't a train station in Jura, but there is a Jura line in Switzerland. Have I dreamed it all, are we still in the Common Market?

Given the exceptional circumstances, Elephant, velocipedes, traction engines and coracles are in play, hence Jura is a valid move (but only until 14 July 2019). I'll overlook the fact that you have failed to declare a move (a clear contravention of Article XXIV of the Basingstoke Treaty of 1884, as ratified in Skegness in 2001), so will play on with Throckmorton's Mangle to

Headstone Lane

I for one do not accept that the Council of Skegness is canonical. The person who presided over Day 17 was a heretic who should have been burnt at the stake in the Market Place for believing that you can play Hanger Lane on a Thuraday in Lent; and that abominable circumstance taints the entire proceedings.

The next move can only be Gravesend.

Good news. The Bishop has found his hat. He was reading the Sixth Commandment and remembered where he had left it.