Morning everyone - saw one or two posts last night but was in no state to answer them DH kept arsing about, then started saying he wasn't sure he was coming home at all etc. etc. he turned up at 10ish, but I was in bed (all cried out) and stroked my head. We are both up nnow, and he hasn't said a word.
Anyway, I have no idea why you think I might be annoyed or anything at you lulu! Silly billy. I don't get annoyed at peoples honest opinions I know I need a kick up the arse, and not all fluffy love, but lordy Ive tried begging for professional help. Now DH is back {fhmm] ill get hom to go bully to GP. I told him last night to, and he said he has a few diazepam hidden away from me so I have them when im really bad until 27th. And before I go for any help, im gonna come on here and get myself all worked up so I give them a peice of my mind! And not just say "oh, it's ok, I understand you're busy over Christmas" etc. etc.
Em - thanks for sharing your experience... Ive been where you were (sort of) 2 years ago, when DH suddenly left me the day after the abortion. I had to build my life up, from scratch. But its coming crashing back down again by the looks of it! I thought id die then too... thats when I couldnt function, couldnt get out of bed... just... was so broken. Obviously this time, ill either find the strength and get on with it, or ill crumble again. Thing is, ive worked out, no matter how hard you cry, no ones going to come and save you That was hard to learn.
Aitch ~ as for my mum.... again, I hate speaking bad of people, but... shes just not a sympathetic person. After an OD once, and I tried cutting my wrists she just got angry at me, slung me into the car to take me to A & E. She does try sometimes, but, shes just not that natured. She gave me two days off my studies, then back to it, full on. This was January, and A -levels were in June, and I was trying to cram 5 in - home study because id missed the start of school year. I was doing 4 hours of intense maths a day, then no break and the biology tutor would roll up... then another day, it would be maths and philosophy... Some mornings the maths tutor would have to come at 7am. Thats all she was worried about. After the abortion, and I was abit "ill" again, she said "good job you didnt have it, social services would take it off a young mother with mental health problems". She has harsh reverse psychology aswell... telling me when I had my first boyfriend, well, ringing his house one time to scream at me, I had better not get pregnant otherwise she would make sure I was sterilised. She can be a nice person, but... shes just not caring. Ive tried thinking "ok, well, she doesnt know what im going through, so how can she be?" and let some slip, and she proves me right.