Friend over stepping the mark!

[SkidDollop]

I've changed my name because my friend sometime lurks on here, but I am a regular.

I posted the following on a different forum a while ago. I'd be interested to hear what you think because, something else happened a few weeks ago and I am kicking myself now because I don't think I dealt with it really.

"I have recently thought that one of my friends is slightly over stepping the mark in disciplining my children. She is quite strict with them, which I'm not overly concerned about as we spend a lot of time together and my kids are very familiar with her.

On Monday night the children were playing after school and there was some bickering and shoving which ended up with my ds hitting my friends dd in the eye. He did not intend to hit her, it just sort of happened. My friend shouted at ds and told him to sit on her naughty step. When he refused, she picked him up under her arm and carried him out to the stairs.

Now, while I would have probably dealt with the situation the same way, I feel that I should have been given the chance to deal with it myself, rather than my friend taking control. What do you think?"

This may sound really OTT, but legally your friend has just assaulted your child. She would probably be cautioned by the police if you were to take it further. No matter how much you may think it deserved, you just CANNOT be physical with other people's kids these days. I know this isn't what you are getting at, but her reaction was totally unacceptable, especially as you were present and could have dealt with it yourself. You know her behaviour isn't ok, otherwise you wouldn't be posting her, you need to either take her to task about it or stop seeing her for the sake of your kids. It doesn't have to be confrontational you can just say "I know we are really good mates, but the way we handle things is sometimes different. If I'm around and something happens with the kids I'd appreciate it if you would let me deal with it myself. We can always talk about it afterwards if you disagree." Best of luck.

I need advice, I get this may be petty but I can't deal anymore.

So I've been friends with this girl for 5/6 years. I've helped her massively with her children as she struggles with them which is fine.

I'm starting to feel like she thinks I struggle massively with my children (10,2&1) moreso my 2 year old. She's overly sensitive, so I need to find a way of talking to her about this but without hurting her feelings because she's just getting on my nerves really.

So typically my 2 year old can be a pickle and push boundaries as they do, obviously still learning what's right and wrong. I'll call her name and if she doesn't respond to me after the first time my friend is there going "(name) mummy is talking to you" or if my daughter doesn't stop immediately when she's walking she's running after her which for my daughter, turns her running off into a game. Now I get she thinks she's being helpful bla bla but she's really not. She's actually making me feel like s* and making me feel like she thinks I can't cope with my kids when I actually can and I don't need the amount of help she did with hers or seems to think I need. Like I don't need her to tell me daughter I'm talking to her or running after her when we're out. The times when I actually do need help she can't/doesn't help at all.

I was waiting in line this morning to go into school to watch my eldest in his class assembly and she's literally come up to me and gone "do you want me to come with you to help you with these two?" I told her "I don't mind, they're easy" they actually both sat very well and my 2 year old got all the awhs from other parents as she shouted high to her older brother and asked what he was doing (it was very cute as you can probably imagine) then all the awhs from his classmates because she went running to her big brother to give him a cuddle before we left (again very cute) but she sat still, she didn't move at all, neither did my 1 year old who sat on my lap.

I need to discuss this with my friend who is an overly sensitive person and likely to take it wrong. So how can I bring this up in a "treading on egg shells" kind of way? Do I just be blunt about it even though it will upset her? I genuinely can't deal with it anymore and it's getting to the point I'm thinking of cutting the friendship off or avoiding her so I don't have to be around her as much which is hard to do as our kids go to the same school and we live in the same block.

I'm at a loss and don't know what to do but I know if she carries on I'm likely to snap at her which I don't want to do so I need to nip this in the bud as soon as possible!

Thank you for reading if you've read this far.