SAHMs - Why don't you work?

[discordia]

The "Why do you work?" thread was very interesting (and it helped me with an essay I'm writing!) so I just wondered about SAHMs - did you choose to stay at home, is it impossible for you to work, is being a SAHM enough fulfilment for you ... etc.

I am a SAHM myself although now that both my kids are at school I'm studying part-time, planning to work part time from Sept. I found being a SAHM hard but glad I did it.

popsycal- I've started to do a number of different things (think this has a name- its called something like multi income streaming) some will probably never bring in more than pocket money (like selling real nappies as the UK market is fairly saturated-) but other things have a chance of taking off, and some of those I have total control over when I do them and when I don't. Hopefully one or a few of these will take off and I will be able to drop the extras and concentrate on one or two things. It's not an easy option but it is certainly easier than going to work each day if you want to be home.

Hope you find something you want to do - Think of it as being quite exciting- I've enjoyed spending the last few months thinking about what to do- a new start is always exciting.......

Know what you mean nightowl, I love my inlaws but regretfully the only members of my family I would let have DS1 & 2 is his grandmother who is not well enough to look after kids now even if we were near home.

Alexmum - i know what you mean aswell,i i thnk we only barely rate above estate agents and tax inspectors as people to avoid long conversations with at parties. You can see people thinking Oh no get me away from the nappy,sicky,pooing talk of the SAHM. :0

Actually I wouldn't want my family to look after ds, think he's far better in nursery where they really know about child development and are 100 per cent focused on him - and nothing dangerous like doors he can open or sockets that need covering etc. etc. And no rows about the 'right' way to do things.
Maybe I'm just very lucky in having a good nursery though (just been to my first parent's evening!).
I have to work, I'm the breadwinner. If I didn't work we wouldn't have anywhere to live. I didn't want to go back to work after mat. leave. Now I am, I enjoy the work part (mostly) but feel like I am really missing out on ds, to the point where I'm jealous if dh does a nappy change. My ideal would be to work part-time but lots of competition for the relatively few part-time jobs in my area. I could try going freelance, but would be terrifying not knowing month to month if we'd have enough to pay the mortgage, and would still need childcare as can't interview the CEO of a major company while changing a nappy or feeding ds.
We don't have a flash car, or a big house, most of our consumer durables are second-hand although I have a senior job and earn what most people would consider a very good wage. But childcare and transport to work cost me £15,000 a year (I live in the South East). And if we moved I'd have to go freelance...

My friend is a SAHM and ive envied her in a lot of ways. the difference between us however is that she has always loved children and is natural with them. Me however, i am quite shy and just couldnt face the prospect of going to a mums and toddlers group. All that tamborine bashing and singing would bring me out into a cold sweat. I cant help it, i am very awkward around children that arent my own. The other difference between us is that she lives in a place where she has lots of friends all SAHMs to rally round and help each other, i dont. I live too far away to join in and have spent weeks whilst on maternity leave without seeing another soul.

Popsy, just catching up before i go to bed.

Plan A by dh sounds great

Just wanted to say that i hope you are o.k and not upset by things on this thread.
You sound like a great mam to me and don't like to think of you upset! ++++++

two reasons
first my mother had no choice to go back to work when i was three months and i can see she feels as if she missed alot and i dont want to grow with the regrets as she has where i have the means to stay at home
and secound my dp is disabled and im his carer so i couldnt back to work with out having to pay for a carer to look after him and child care for ds

Angeliz - I am ok..just feeling shitty about work

oh please do!!!!!