Swagger Inn Thread 67 – Wenches, just ddooooooo iiiiiiit

[SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp]

Mops floor, wipes bar, cleans the empties, throws open doors and locks self in cellar with Musketeers...

Jason didn't have white blond hair nor an evil glint in his eye but he did tell me a funny story from back in the day when he worked on a market stall to earn a crust.

He told how he sold belts - leather - and how if he only had one size and someone asked about a larger size he would take the belt and ask the customer to wait while he checked 'out the back' to see if he had it in a larger size. Once around the back of the stall he would stand on one end of the belt and pull on the other hoping to stretch it enough to make it longer and large enough for the customer. Having done that he would walk back round to the front announcing 'You are in luck. I have just the one in a larger size.'

Mmmmmm nnhmmmmmph mmnnnnn nnom nom

Sorry...I had my mouth full. They're much sweeter than you imagine...

Elk

'SNORT' Mouthful of Mr Tom.

BAAAAD ELK!

Heloooooooo
Back from pils.
Have RBNR.
Sorry you feel so poorly mouse...mum has a horrid lurgy ATM... I do wonder if it's flu.
Helen...hope little Ds picks up x
Still on for re watch at 9??
X

Girlfriend??? WTF??

I see where you're going with that letus

Toddelr is on bed, I am all yours.
Norty rudey elk

Am lost. Whose girlfriend? What?

Ooh, Carolina, that sounds criiiiiinge. Definitely agree re it being a charity event, and Tom might get put off. (So the wench plan is to act uber-cool and then "rescue" him from the fenches once the event is over ?)

Ok....just had quick catch up.

Firstly, Wicked Pizza mix is just fucking flour!!! ....deja vu anyone?!

2nd - I'm waiting to see which gang gets me closest to the Burke in a subtly cool kind of a way, however if the Twitter lot are doing some fangirly presentation - and I've seen the card. and it's lovely. but cr-innnnnge - currently my money is on BabyElk being cute and christmassy (I may have to Calpol in advance)

3rd - porn was on the way, it's currently on the shelf

4th - MrTom bars are bloody lovely.....I recommend filling your gobs

Right bedtime for small Elk's

Oh, I'm as mild mannered as they come

Carolina I'm actually a bit worried that he is going to be overwhelmed if he has requests for "meet and greets". I do hope they're not going to spoil this for him.

Love pissed Norah.

You dick!!!!

Drunk Norah is hilarious.

But drunk OTH is always dangerous. Don't do it !

WTF?????,

Picturing you all giving each other the eye whist sat in church 'concentrating' lolz. And then being all cats bum face at the fenches
I'm going to start with the 2nd episode as I'm free now and it lb be done about right?
Get me in the mood so to speak.

Elk, I would suggest the fangirliest gang may get closest to begin with but that the Burkester will want to make good his escape from those asap and will head straight into the clutches of the somewhat cooler looking ladies who will initially look to him like a much safer bet. That is when we strike!

It's a foolproof plan!

Tbf Carolina, the attending wenches are the least likely to jump Tom on this particular occasion, given Elk will have BabyElk and Apricot will have her DH. However, if he us around at the weekend I can't speak for the rest of Team Athos.

Blame helen for having norty dreams about me. It's her fault innit? And all of you fore making me the monster you see before you. I used to be quiet and never things about sexy times let alone do them?

Go in wearing 'santi baby' tops and he'll come over and chat with you! Ooooooh, get someone to text you and then he'll hear himself saying dddddooooooo iiiiiiittttttt!

OMFG! IT'S SO DRAMATIC!!! I seriously must buy the DVD's, it's so BRILLIANT!!!!!

Apricot, I doubt the organisers will allow it to turn into a Tom meet and greet but I do agree with you. It would be a shame if it turns sour and causes him not to agree to do another one in the future.

To be fair, I think BritAngie will try to rein in some of the more 'enthusiastic' of the Bureketeers. However, she can't actually stop them if they are determined.

Nnno, I've got it! Dress babyElk as a flump!

Can you imagine the carnage if he doesn't turn up??!! I wonder he has any idea what is planned for him? And would he turn up if he did know?

Elk the dough is already made, you just roll it out

Carolina I'm watching Sherlock and it's bloody brilliant

WW...can you get Netflix?
It's on there :)
I have had a Sherlock and house Netflix marathon last week!