Kirsty Allsopp says ditch university and have baby by 27

[Prettyinbeige]

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/jun/02/kirstie-allsop-young-women-ditch-university-baby-by-27

I know it's different for everyone but I completely agree with this article.

For me having my son at 22 was the best thing I ever did. It made me a much stronger and more confident person, which then in turn has helped me in pursuing a career and building a life for us.
I think I would have found things a lot harder if I had built a career and a life to then have to sacrifice it in order to have a baby.

I also understand in some cases it isn't possible for people to have children before a certain age. But I guess what I'm saying is I see some sense in what Kirsty is saying

Had I had another child a year or so after DS I don't think it would have made a huge difference to my career. If I had another one now it definitely would

If like Kirsty who can probably afford wrap around care or a full time nanny then having a baby at 27 probably wont do you much harm career wise.

For a lot of woman it's a balance to earn enough money and be home with the kids but i'm sure there are lots of workplaces like mine where mum's who leave early to pick up the kid's or have to phone in for emergency leave because the kids have D&V as not really being promotion material. Far better to establish your career first and get to a level of seniority you are happy with so it's doesn't matter if you get put on the 'mummy track'

I absolutely think university is completely wasted on your average eighteen-year-old. As a society, we should make it much much easier to have kids young and return to studies as a mature student. All the adult returners I have ever taught have been miles more motivated than their school-leaving peers.

Do you teach a science subject GreatAuntDinah?

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/jun/02/kirstie-allsop-young-women-ditch-university-baby-by-27 will now post this so I can click through!

There's no way we could have afforded children in our twenties. And we needed university to get a decent job.

But that was pre tuition fees/housing boom. So many jobs require a degree these days. It's really not easy to get well paid work without one.

How on earth can anyone know what it's like to be a single parent, unless they have been a single parent? She's one person, representing herself and only herself, not the whole of womankind.

Her background may well be relevant, but it's not an excuse to dismiss what she says as 'oh well she's posh therefore a twat/knows nothing/has it easy'. Agree or disagree, fine, but don't kneejerk argue for the sake of it.

I don't particularly think what she's saying is some kind of holy grail answer to the 'having it all' debate. I just think that there are some interesting discussions to be had around the way in which people - not just women- balance career, family and education.

Poor Kirsty. She doesn't actually live in the real world does she.

As much as I am encouraging my DD to go to uni, experience life before having kids, I'm doing it a different way and starting to see the benefits of it. I'm currently working in retail, studying with the OU for my degree, have gained some accountancy qualifications, and about to start job hunting in order to start my career. I'm 28, had DD at 18, and live in an area where that is considered late to have a baby! I will be the first of my large, extended family to get a degree. I'm single, but to me that means I can concentrate on us at the minute.

When DD is off to university, I'll be 36, and I have another 30-odd working years in front of me. If I want to I can travel, work abroad, move around the country for my career- none of that is possible for me right now, because of DD. If I had the chance for uni, etc at 18, I would have done what many teenagers do and waste the opportunity on something I don't want to spend my life doing. Not saying everyone is like that, but I definitely would have wasted it! So, I'm glad I'm doing it this way round.

I think she is absolutely right.

She is talking about he impossibility of:

University
Career
House
Children

I don't think our girl dcs will be able to have all of those things by their 30s - because of house prices and university fees etc.

I think they need to choose. Kirsty is being realistic.

So your DD has no qualifications but she has a job (McDs?) and she meets a nice man (well lets face it he is unlikely to be professional, say he is another McDs employee).

So you help her buy a flat and tell her to have this nice young man's babies.

Does that bode well?

I see where she is coming from but it is pretty silly to think you can plan a nice partner, nice babies, followed by a nice uni degree, and a long term relationship, well paid career. Finding the nice partner is hard let alone the rest!

Those on here saying they have done it have one DC, what's to say they won't suddenly get an urge for a baby in their 30s. Seems possible to me.

I have 3 but we want 4/5

I hated the thought of having babies at any point in my 20s. I didn't even contemplate it until I got together with DH in my 30s. I was married previously, but never wanted children with him as he was too much of a man child, himself.

I left motherhood until I was ready and with a man I wanted to be a father to my children.

Dozie people may get the urge to have another DC I there 30's and they will have to juggle work/life again as they did when they had the first. However most of us who has DC/DCs young are now enjoying the life we have built and are finished baby making

I think it's a lie to say no degree = no job.

I've worked for managers with no degree. It's not uncommon - I live in a county with no university and there are loads of successful working adults here without degrees. It's also common in housing associations or charities where you can still 'work your way up'.

I'd love to know what sort of conversation Kirstie is having with her sons.

Men are the immature ones. I know plenty who are terrified of adulthood, despite being in their 30s and even 40s. I'm sure their twentysomething girlfriends would be delighted to be married and upduffed, but their menfolk won't have it.

This is why DP is now ex-DP, but luckily I have a career and an income that isn't dependent on my Daddy's connections and my rich friends in telly, so it doesn't matter.

I had my DD at 19, while I was at university and despite a lot of criticism from my peers, it's all worked out better for me than it did for my friends who waited (or who terminated their unplanned pgs). I got a nice council flat in London, free childcare from my mum (who was young and at home with my younger sis), was able to do voluntary experience while dd was at school which boosted my career and later met DH who is earning well so we were able to buy my flat (which we now rent out) and now have a good sized home in central London in my early 30s.

Compare that to my friends from university who are in no position to buy, paying huge rents, mostly live outside London, have to pay out huge amounts for childcare as their parents are too old to offer childcare, have had their careers limited due to having to find work quickly and not being able to do internships, and are either fretting about their biological clocks or having their dc in very uncertain renting situations.

I don't think everyone should go out and get pregnant aged 25 on the basis of this article, but I do think she has a point here

'At the moment, women have 15 years to go to university, get their career on track, try and buy a home, and have a baby. That is a hell of a lot to ask someone'

I think that's quite true. I do think it's a shame that society does not allow women to 'spread out' things in quite the same way as men are able to do

Totally agree with Ginnelsandwhippets, it's an interesting conversation that isn't had often enough and is worth some thought, particularly given the mountain of debt people can come out of university with. Also, she's entitled to express her opinion, just as you're entitled to ignore it. Even if she is (horrors!) POSH.

The teenage mother-council flat-BTL landlord (as long as the husband doesn't leave) trajectory isn't one that I envy. I'd much rather have my uncertainty and self-respect than be constantly worrying what happens to dependent wives.

I had DD fresh out of uni (did lots postgrad so was 24), ds1 a couple of years later, and DS2 at 34. I have basically precluded myself from both freedom to travel and a great career. But, hey, they were worth it!

Agree that Kirstie speaks from a position of massive privilege, and doesn't really have a clue.

I'm a longtime lurker but thought I'd add my two cents..I'm early/mid twenties with three children and I'm married..but haven't got a degree yet. I do regret not having done my education first occasionally but my enjoyment at being a young parent outweighs that by far. I love the thought of hitting 40 and being able to pick up where I left off, without worrying about toddlers or school runs by then. Having said that, lots of people such as some posters on this thread are proof you can do both. Not everyone just meets a guy in their teens, marries, gets a degree and has kids by their twenties. In a perfect world yes but that's not reality is it.

Actually I take back 'some' of what I said now I've read the article.
We should talk openly about university and whether going when you're young, when we live so much longer, is really the way forward. At the moment, women have 15 years to go to university, get their career on track, try and buy a home, and have a baby. That is a hell of a lot to ask someone. As a passionate feminist, I feel we have not been honest enough with women about this issue.

This is a valid point. But her advice to her future daughter is awful.

Luckily I have my own career and the BTL is in my own name thesaurusgirl so I am not a dependent wife!