Kirsty Allsopp says ditch university and have baby by 27

[Prettyinbeige]

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/jun/02/kirstie-allsop-young-women-ditch-university-baby-by-27

I know it's different for everyone but I completely agree with this article.

For me having my son at 22 was the best thing I ever did. It made me a much stronger and more confident person, which then in turn has helped me in pursuing a career and building a life for us.
I think I would have found things a lot harder if I had built a career and a life to then have to sacrifice it in order to have a baby.

I also understand in some cases it isn't possible for people to have children before a certain age. But I guess what I'm saying is I see some sense in what Kirsty is saying

It's all very well to say "Meet someone and have a kid by 27" - but

A) Why should that mean "Ditch Uni"? Most people can finish Uni by 21/22 going straight from school.

B) I naively thought that I would meet someone and have kids "no earlier than 26" - but in the event, I only met dh when I was 31, got together when I was 32 and got married when I was 37 and had ds when I was 39 (after a year of trying).

C) As others have said, it wasn't ME that needed to be convinced of the biological clock - it was dh who had to be strong-armed into starting a family sooner than he was "ready" . And that is probably why ds has ended up an "only" as I had 2 subsequent miscarriages .

I'd have loved to have started a family earlier and to have had more than one child but I also wanted to have my family with the right man.

And yes, I did manage to combine motherhood with working full time, so that was never an issue. And no, I never felt guilty!

Oooh, I remember Amy Poehler rapping energetically on Saturday Night Live when VERY heavily pregnant. She looked SO ready to pop that I rather wished she would tone down the rapping, out of concern for her own health and safety!

That was really interesting, isshoes. Thanks

Hang on... I was a very interesting person before I had DD... did popping a baby out of my bits turn me into a boring person? I'm not defined by being a mum, that's just one aspect of my life. I'm still my parents' daughter, my DP's girlfriend, a student, a guitar player, a whatever-else-I-was-before - having a baby has just added another string to my bow

LOL at "unexpected bills".

I'm not saying that is the case here, but it would certainly be more likely for a parent who had encouraged unnecessary dependence by adult children to have bills which are unexpected, simply by virtue of those bills' being run up by other people.

Extended dependence by the young upon the old doesn't do the parent-child relationship many favours, either, particularly in tough economic times (high youth unemployment, anyone?). I was recently chatting with some friends of friends, whose country had gone through an economic crisis, and they cited a joke from the time of the crisis: "A living parent is dead capital."

Hadley Freeman's excellent response to Krusty Allsorts in the Guardian

and she dispels the fertility-falls-off-a-cliff-at-35 myth.

Another article which gives more information about fertility after 35

Ooo, the menopause, me, me, me, pick me please! 43 and still regular as clockwork.

Damn.

My mother was 50 when she stopped having those damned periods.

I look forward to it.

Fertility doesn't fall off a cliff,its an incremental decrease.varies for each individual
Its not a stark 35 and then thats it

I met my dh at university. If I'd not gone I wouldn't have been having a baby with him (although I missed doing it at 27, was 28 at the time).

"It's about travelling, seeing the world, meeting people, having care-free fun and experiences."

This is often expressed on mn as a reason why posters didn't have DCs in their 20s. It has always perplexed me but I've never countered it before.

Is this fun loving experience really the reality for every child free 20 sineth

Sorry!

20 something?

I had my first DC in my early 20s.

If I hadn't I would have been stuck in a min wage retail/call centre/bar job with no prospects. Living in a shared flat with strangers. No money. Doesn't sound fun to me.

How did having a baby vastly improve your financial situation, weatherall?

I never said baking or ceramics were boring - and god knows DIY and cars bore me stiff. It's the endless, monotonous round of parenting which is bloody boring a lot of the time. The interest one finds oneself having in nappies/phonics/spelling/GSCE choices/tidy bedrooms/balanced diet. I would be quite happy not to have these occupying my brain.

I agree mi. Most of it's dull as fuck. But then I guess you one has to tend the little sods once one has borne them.

The other day I found myself peering into the bowels of the washing machine saying to myself "I'm so fucking BORED". And I'm meant to have a job as well. Housework is essentially dull. I wish I could find a really cheap housekeeper.

It's like Stockholm syndrome. Sooner or later you find yourself enjoying it and saying it's actually truly gratifying.

Baking, now, you get cake. What's not to like?

21 years on and I'm still not "enjoying" it. I do things because they have to be done. At no point over my parenting career have I really enjoying the wiping.

Ah, yes, world domination, what's not to like about that either.

Wiping, no, wiping defies affection. Noses or tables alike.

I dream of leaving my family behind and going to do the same thing in a fancy house somewhere for £££££. I'm pretty damn good at dong stuff by now. I just don't do and don't have a particularly clean house because I hate it. It would be easier to be paid to do this.

Actually, scrap that. That's just a thought that pops into my head as I clean the same thing yet again.

What I actually dream of is my alternative life in which I actually have a career rather than a job.

Bragmatic- I was able to live in a flat