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Kirsty Allsopp says ditch university and have baby by 27

364 replies

Prettyinbeige · 02/06/2014 17:50

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/jun/02/kirstie-allsop-young-women-ditch-university-baby-by-27

I know it's different for everyone but I completely agree with this article.

For me having my son at 22 was the best thing I ever did. It made me a much stronger and more confident person, which then in turn has helped me in pursuing a career and building a life for us.
I think I would have found things a lot harder if I had built a career and a life to then have to sacrifice it in order to have a baby.

I also understand in some cases it isn't possible for people to have children before a certain age. But I guess what I'm saying is I see some sense in what Kirsty is saying

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 02/06/2014 18:13

The funny thing is of the things she lists that you need to do, the obvious thing to put off is buying your first house. But she can't say that, obviously!

melissa83 · 02/06/2014 18:13

She thinks 27 is young but in my peer group its practically oap age to start a familym

HalleLouja · 02/06/2014 18:15

I had my baby at 29 two years too late and have a degree and an accounting qualification. PMSL about taking advice on anything other than bunting.

I never thought I could have it all but do think even though I work part time I work too many hours. But that is a compromise.

RazzleDazzleEm · 02/06/2014 18:15

I can certainly see what she means, and also leaving uni for a bit and getting more life experience certainly wouldn't hurt before embarking on a degree course...

But its easy for her to say coming from such a wealthy family.

Many women cant meet the right man though and not many men or women want to settle down so young.

Poofus · 02/06/2014 18:17

I don't really know who KA is, but this sounds to me like the advice of someone who didn't go to university herself and doesn't really see the point of it. She certainly doesn't seem to see the connection between a good education and a good career - I'd guess as a result of her own career trajectory.

BiscuitCrumb · 02/06/2014 18:17

I did a 4 year undergraduate degree, a 1 year MSc and a 3.5 year PhD. I then did a 4 year programme of advance clinical training in my field. There wasn't any time to have a baby then. But I met my husband, married him, bought a home etc... DS was born when I was 32.

I'm proud of everything I have achieved academically. It benefits my son financially, it benefits him academically.

I didn't grow up in a well to do family like Kirstie Allsopp and have children with a millionaire. Really I would take any advice from her with regard to life choices.

LapsedPacifist · 02/06/2014 18:18

Kirstie WHO? Why is this person's opinion on how other women should conduct their lives remotely important or relevant to the rest of us?

Ohh... - sorry!! She's ON THE TELLY, so she's a CELEB!!

BiscuitCrumb · 02/06/2014 18:19

And can I add the time I spent at university was the best time of my life... I didn't want to leave.

QueenElsa · 02/06/2014 18:20

I was in college when I fell pregnant at 19, went back 3 weeks after an awful birth/EMCS and finished my course. I worked up until 6 months ago in that subject and am going to back in to education this year. I'm only still in my early 20s.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend having a child before establishing a career. It is possible to have both though, I don't understand why we have to choose.

Mrscaindingle · 02/06/2014 18:20

Oh ffs for most people life (to paraphrase John Lennon) is what happens when you're busy making plans. In other words most people do not have the luxury of planning their lives that much.
I met my Oh at the age of 27, he was younger than me so not ready for babies at the same time I was and then when we decided to go for it, it took me nearly 2 years to get pregnant. I had DS 1 at 33 and Ds2 at 36 If I could have done it sooner I would have but it was not to be. Few of us are able to have babies exactly when we choose it. C'est la vie .

patjen · 02/06/2014 18:22

Totally typical of a person having a talent in one area pontificating about other areas.

Can't effing stand it!

She may be very good at decorating and have a good eye for home crafts-well good on her for that and no criticism or back-handed compliment intended.

But why do celebrities have to have a view on everything? Can't they just stick to what they know?

See you wouldn't get this sort of shite from Kate Moss.

TheSarcasticFringehead · 02/06/2014 18:27

Can't stand this!

There is a point in encouraging women to start having babies younger- but tbh, a lot of that is to do with men (who often don't have an awareness of the ticking biological clock) and society (where it's often a struggle to work/build up your career and have children as a mother, so only when you are established and won't have to worry about being passed up promotion wise or some other problems).

Sheldonswhiteboard · 02/06/2014 18:27

I wouldn't have changed the order in which I did things. Established career (put in the hours), loads of travel, DD at 33 then went back in a part time role as I was senior and experienced enough to do that. We are all different though and I don't think one size fits all. Yes fertility will decrease over time but in my peer group most of us have had and continue to have children in our 30's and 40's with no issues, may be just lucky.

TiredFeet · 02/06/2014 18:28

Totally agree about not taking advice from KA on anything but bunting. In fact I'm not even sure I want her advice on bunting.

I managed 2 degrees, a professional qualification and to be several years into my career by 27, started ttc then but it took 2 years so I was 29 when ds arrived. For me, I am glad I got my degrees first as my children are atrocious sleepers and my brain is destroyed at present, contemplating studying for a diploma this year but not sure how it would work with a non sleeping toddler

ElizabethLemon · 02/06/2014 18:29

I had my dc when I was halfway through university at 21. I graduated when I was 23 and have struggled to get my "career" going. I'm working but I'm not doing a job that I like or that I want to take further. To be honest though most of my friends that graduated at the same time or before me are in similar positions work wise. Sometimes I wish I hadn't gone back to university and just got a job when my dc was a year old or so. I feel like I might be in a better place financially/job wise now if I had. But who knows!

melissa83 · 02/06/2014 18:30

I am all for having children young, but personally wouldnt have had babies in my early 20s or even at 27 if I hadnt been married a while, owned a property, be working, and have done or at least be a good way through a degree. I wouldnt want my dd to be starting out at 40 having never done anything career wise I think thats terrible advice.

CMOTDibbler · 02/06/2014 18:30

I had my ds at 35. Wouldn't change that, as I got to do a whole load of things that aren't compatible with being a parent before that. And establishing a solid career and experience meant I'm able to have a lot more flexibility now.

I don't have a dd, but if I did I'd tell her 'darling, don't listen to other peoples opinions. If you feel a burning need to have a child in your early 20's, feel free, but remember that once you have one they are your responsibility for the next 18 years at least and theres an awful lot of things that are immensly easier to do when childfree. Lifes there to be enjoyed, grab it by the balls and do so'

HalleLouja · 02/06/2014 18:31

Just had a thought. If I wasn't so well educated when I had kids I would have to probably work more hours now to pay the bills etc.

Coumarin · 02/06/2014 18:31

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GinnelsandWhippets · 02/06/2014 18:32

I'm not a particular fan of Kirsty Allsopp. But this i agree with (from the Guardian article):

"... We should talk openly about university and whether going when you're young, when we live so much longer, is really the way forward. At the moment, women have 15 years to go to university, get their career on track, try and buy a home, and have a baby. That is a hell of a lot to ask someone. As a passionate feminist, I feel we have not been honest enough with women about this issue."

I think there is a lot to be gained from, as a society, examining the expectations we have about education, career and family life. What is wrong with trying to open up some debate about that?

sanfairyanne · 02/06/2014 18:33

i did it all wrong

for a start, i didn't get born into the aristocracy.

good job Kirstie is here to put us right

doziedoozie · 02/06/2014 18:34

How many DCs do you have OP?

Seems common sense to me that you get a career first, not have baby then work part time, unless of course you have a well paid DH to subsidise your life.

doziedoozie · 02/06/2014 18:35

15 years is quite a long time.

sanfairyanne · 02/06/2014 18:35

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirstie_Allsopp

The Honorable Kirstie Allsop

so we can all get some more good hints about how to lead our lives

melissa83 · 02/06/2014 18:37

There are benefits to waiting a couple of years ginnel. Dh and I worked in a decent paid career from 18 to 21and that meant we could buy our first property then we started university at 21 benefits of that were you get double the amount of money as you arent classed as on your parents income, and we were safe in the knowledge no rush as had a mortgage. It did mean we are in a much better financial position now. I wouldnt mind my 3 dds doing that, but would definitely not be advising waiting longer than age 27 to start a decent career.

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