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Original poster

Kirsty Allsopp says ditch university and have baby by 27

364 replies

Prettyinbeige · 02/06/2014 17:50

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/jun/02/kirstie-allsop-young-women-ditch-university-baby-by-27

I know it's different for everyone but I completely agree with this article.

For me having my son at 22 was the best thing I ever did. It made me a much stronger and more confident person, which then in turn has helped me in pursuing a career and building a life for us.
I think I would have found things a lot harder if I had built a career and a life to then have to sacrifice it in order to have a baby.

I also understand in some cases it isn't possible for people to have children before a certain age. But I guess what I'm saying is I see some sense in what Kirsty is saying

OP posts:
Quangle · 02/06/2014 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GinnelsandWhippets · 02/06/2014 20:21

thecuriousowl well then you wait till you meet someone nice, consider other options for single parenthood, focus on your career, take the opportunity to go travelling - whatever really. It's not about women settling for idiots so they can have kids early. It's about trying to enact some societal change which results in people have stronger options throughout their adult lives. Like the option to settle down and have kids young, or to dick around and then focus later, or to do study-career-kids if you want. But right now the only viable option for many women is uni-career-marriage/partnership-property....and then kids. And often that presents difficulties.

I would like to see men come under pressure to do things in an order that suits women more (biologically at least), that would be interesting.

lovingmatleave · 02/06/2014 20:21

Kirstie didn't go to uni. Most people I know from my social background (much lower than Kirstie) go to uni view it as a route to a better job, better financial prospects etc. Obviously this wasn't an issue for her with rich parents - why bother when you always have a fall back. Think she regrets missing out. I had a fantastic time at unit.

Also as many others have posted a lot of women still actually manage to have a baby in their late 30's and 40's without much trouble. Who says women feel at the moment women have 15 years to fit it all in???. Does life end at mid 30s? I'm in early 40s and happily raising a range of ages of kids.

Wish she would shut up with "I am a passioniate feminist" claptrap. I really can't take that seriously when I only ever see her flouncing around making paper doilies or making vases or picture frames out of whatever.

MollyGetsHerWandOut · 02/06/2014 20:21

TheCuriousOwl, you stop hanging out with twats.

IrnBruTheNoo · 02/06/2014 20:22

I did get my degree at aged 21, pregnant aged 22, first DC born when I was aged 23, married aged 23, worked briefly for a few months after mat leave and left to be a SAHM (and had another DC) since then....I can go back to a career later on when DC are older. I can see the point Kirsty is trying to make (IF you are lucky enough to meet your partner young, that is!).

IrnBruTheNoo · 02/06/2014 20:24

I'm in my thirties now and cannot fall pregnant easily like I did in my twenties. Health implications are making this the case in my circumstances though...

IrnBruTheNoo · 02/06/2014 20:25

Ooops that'll be Kirstie, not Kirsty! Blush

MyrtleDove · 02/06/2014 20:26

loving I don't agree with KA but why does doing 'girly' things make someone less of a feminist? You can like doilies and crafts and also be a feminist.

MyrtleDove · 02/06/2014 20:29

oneflueover I don't like KA. I do like her skirts and don't think she has fat ankles. Targeting her appearance is unnecessary and misogynistic.

MyrtleDove · 02/06/2014 20:30

Also - I am 25. My mum is 43. She's too busy working full-time to look after any hypothetical grandchildren!

Original poster
Prettyinbeige · 02/06/2014 20:35

It's different for everyone. I guess I am just lucky that I found the right man, had a decent job and a great supportive family to help out with childcare while I worked.
There is a right time for everyone

OP posts:
BiscuitCrumb · 02/06/2014 20:35

Well said Myrtle!

What about careers that require degrees, or does KA want all fertile women to just not bother becoming doctors or teachers or lawyers?

CateBlanket · 02/06/2014 20:43

Kirstie's next mission, apparently, is to write about how we handle death or rather mishandle death. According to her

"We don’t get it right in this country. We don’t get it right by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, we may get it more wrong than any other country in the entire world".

Apparently we should do it like they do in, erm, Turkey Confused

IrnBruTheNoo · 02/06/2014 20:45

It's a case of letting your mouth go at the minute then.....

HazleNutt · 02/06/2014 20:45

What if I wanted to do something that requires a degree?

In my chosen career you need a postgrad degree and at least a couple of years internship to take the professional exams. If I had a baby by 27, then let's say another at 29, then stayed home til they were both in school, that would make me 33. 4 years for the first degree, a couple of years for the postgrad.

So that would make me almost 40, with kids, no relevant work experience, trying to enter a job market competing with 20-something men without any family obligations. Hmm. It's also so competitive that it would be very difficult to take several years off to be a SAHM and try to go back - unless you were already quite senior.

I don't have any regrets that I did it my way.

boringlivingroom · 02/06/2014 20:46

The thing is kirsty has a point. We are having babies later and our bodies are not designed for this. We are not fertile for ever and the later you leave it the harder it is.

Yes yes people will roll out the anecdotes of how they're 55 and have had three kids no problem from 45 but that is not the case overall.

Our society is set up to suit men. So women have to adapt to succeed, which means later babies.

Until society changes, it will always be that way.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 02/06/2014 20:49

I really disagree with that.

I think men need to know this stuff, not women. I think it's really pretty few women who don't realize they might not be as fertile after 35 as they'd like. But loads of blokes don't know this, because the message is rarely directed towards them (as it isn't really here).

That is not me having a go at men, btw - I don't imagine it's fun for a man to get to 40 and realize his 'oh, I'd like children but not yet dear' has meant he won't be having any.

Nocomet · 02/06/2014 20:51

If I'd ditched university, I'd never have met DH, which would have made babies a bit difficult Grin!

doziedoozie · 02/06/2014 20:53

and a great supportive family to help out with childcare while I worked

I will still be young enough to enjoy babysitting my grandchildren (some people are just becoming mothers at that age!) but will have no obligation to and still free to carry on my career and life the same as I do now

So you don't intend helping your DC with childcare Grin

MyrtleDove · 02/06/2014 20:53

The answer is to help couples share childcare more effectively, not to tell women not to bother their pretty little heads with university and a career.

MadameLeBean · 02/06/2014 20:55

As someone who had a baby young, before university, it is hard and has definitely disadvantaged me in my career as I took longer to complete my studies - didn't start work till 25 - and have never been able to give 110% to work even as the most junior person.

Had I graduated at 21 with no kids it is quite possible I would be at managing director level now (I'm 28) and free to take maternity leave as I would have already proved myself.

Now I am struggling to climb the ladder (I'm only 1 rung up from entry level) and would like to have a baby with my new partner but have not made enough progress at work - it would mean sacrificing everything I have built up so far.

Not to mention the turmoil and issues from the failed relationship with my daughters father because I was just way too young.

That's without going into the morality of teaching young girls to have no ambition and just wait for a man to look after them Angry

Kirsty is wrong wrong wrong Confused

What a nob

ConstantCraving · 02/06/2014 20:55

I had my first at 17 - cue lots of head shaking and tutting at the feckless single mum.
I had my second at 40 - cue lots of head shaking and tutting at the selfish 'too old' mum.

I now have a DH, I work FT and am the higher earner but am no better a person or mum than I was at 17.
What I want for both my DC is independence, happiness and the ability to make their own choices - not those that society (or Ms Allsopp) deems appropriate.

spindlyspindler · 02/06/2014 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadameLeBean · 02/06/2014 21:00

But yeah by all means encourage girls to be ambitious to get to senior levels asap to enable them to have kids without losing their career.

I think people even women don't think about the biological clock until they are 25-30.

I know I'm generalising but it is true that it is harder to get allowances at work when you are junior and none of your peers (read: competition) have kids to pick up...and you are junior so can't afford a nanny!

MissBeehiving · 02/06/2014 21:01

I'm not sure that I need to be taking career advice from someone who has never needed to work for a living Confused

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