Kirsty Allsopp says ditch university and have baby by 27

[Prettyinbeige]

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/jun/02/kirstie-allsop-young-women-ditch-university-baby-by-27

I know it's different for everyone but I completely agree with this article.

For me having my son at 22 was the best thing I ever did. It made me a much stronger and more confident person, which then in turn has helped me in pursuing a career and building a life for us.
I think I would have found things a lot harder if I had built a career and a life to then have to sacrifice it in order to have a baby.

I also understand in some cases it isn't possible for people to have children before a certain age. But I guess what I'm saying is I see some sense in what Kirsty is saying

What a load of shite. How about working to change things so women don't feel they have to choose? To change attitudes in 'high-powered careers' so women don't feel their prospects are changed by going on maternity leave? To change the cost and organisational difficulties of childcare, which pushes women (and men, but overwhelmingly women) into giving up work when they might not want to? (Which is not to say that SAH is not a totally valid choice if that is what you want. But if you don't want to, you shouldn't be forced to because you can't work the childcare.) To change laws surrounding renting, so that you do not have to own a home before you feel you live somewhere secure enough to have a child, and can start a family in rented accomodation without fear of having to move every six months or being at the whim of uncaring landlords? (and before MN's many good landlords object, I know many of you are not like that. But many others are, and renting long term is shit, and it shouldn't be). Fix all that, remove these barriers, remove the pressures.

She's approaching the problem all wrong. There is a problem, but the solution is not to skip uni and have a baby by 27.

You'd have to be living under a stone, as a PP points out, to have missed the sententious warnings that if we don't have babies by 35 we'll end up sobbing at the IVF clinic.

And it's bollocks anyway. Not everyone's fertility plummets at 35. Some do some don't. Speaking as someone who got accidentally up the duff at 36. And really, the idea of my mum finding me a 'nice boyfriend' makes my blood run cold.

Not read the article as on phone, but what are her reasons for having babies 'early' at 27?? And why do we need to get back to that?

And young women out of education??! Is that what she's saying?

At 27 I had just broken up with an emotionally and financially abusive twat.

I had my DS with my lovely DH at 36.

It was definitely the right decision!

I don't know many women my age who are still with the same men now as they were at 27!

Yes, at 27 I actually very much wanted a baby but my partner left me.

I have 1 DS. I didnt do things quite how it is described in the article as I did graduate from uni before having my DS. However I managed to work my way up through my job doing all the hard work while DS was smaller, we were saving up for a mortgage at this time also.

6 years down the line I am where I want to be in my career, we have our house and I feel we are able to sit back and relax a bit while DS is able to enjoy everything.
We did all the hard work while we and he were young.

I see friends who have done the hard work of building a career and saving for a house etc and are now moving onto having babies.

Well, not really that long if you consider you might spend 3-5 of them at uni, longer if you're studying medicine, architecture etc or doing a PhD. I think it's very easy to take what she's saying as some kind of personal criticism when really it isn't. I mean, i had my kids in my mid 30s after doing uni-career-marriage-house in the traditional order. And it's fine. But actually i don't think there would have been anything wrong with me having kids in my early 20s, maybe spending time at home, studying part time perhaps, and then embarking on a career in my late 20s instead. And i think that this kind of model might actually work better for society as a whole in lots of ways. It's a shame that the emphasis - for women and men- is so focused on establishing yourself so early. I will be working till i'm 65 or older, so really starting out on a career in my 30s should be a problem, right?

I think Kirsty Allsop doesn't understand what education is.

Kirsty Allsopp always looks like she has been knitted.
I won't be taking advice from her.

I'm very glad I went to university, got professional qualifications, built a career and then had children. I'd be a bit scuppered now otherwise, trying to support two children on my tod without the benefit of a well-paid job. Perhaps she meant I should have spent my time trying to snare a well-paid husband to support me and any future children.

Of course, perhaps what she really means is that only the well heeled daughters of the gentry should have their babies early, safe in the knowledge that they never REALLY have to earn money?

I didn't read the article as her saying 'don't bother with university or a career'. It seemed to me that she was focusing more on challenging the order in which we expect to do things.

I am 28 and have done both but because, and only because I met dh early on AND he was on the same page. From my friendship group this just isn't the case for everyone, purely down to luck if you meet someone early.

We also aren't homeowners which I imagine she would have on her list of what we should be doing.

And all this nastiness about her background - come on, if you disagree with her fair enough. But stop with the inverted snobbery, it achieves nothing and stifles debate about what she's actually saying.

Where are we going to meet these 27 year old men that want to settle down with kids so early?!

Baby at 29 so a bit later but had a degree and great career by then. Not really a radical suggestion.

In this job market now sahm and no degree is going to look terrible on your cv if you havent had a very, very good established career first. Its ok to have children young if you keep going as no one even needs to know you have children as no cv gaps but to do Iit first having never achieved career wise is not a good idea imo.

KA is an eejit.

If my DD (currently only 7 weeks old but nowt wrong with planning ahead ) came home at 19 - whether she was at uni or not - and told me she was pregnant, I'd support her. And as soon as she was out of the room, I'd break down and sob.

I love my DD to bits but the pregnancy has been a hard slog - I found out I was pregnant two weeks before the start of my second year. She was born on the last day of official lectures. I've put up with people saying "you made it look easy, I want a baby" and it's so hard to bite my tongue. They didn't see me sobbing when my parents wanted me to have an abortion, or ending up in hospital frequently, or dealing with constant judgemental comments and looks from people I know and strangers alike, and the jealousy of knowing all my friends were going out and having a good time. They didn't see my breakdown when I was trying to submit my last essay on time when DD was a week old. They don't get to see the loneliness of having no other friends who are parents.

I'm already in essay territory with this post but Kirstie's article pissed me off. I could tell when reading that she wasn't a young mum - yep, I was right! All I can say is thank goodness she doesn't have a daughter. If DD ever asks me for life advice, I'll make sure she knows that I'll support her no matter what - but that there's plenty of time between 20 and the time fertility significantly decreases to do whatever she wants - whether that is to travel, to go on holiday with mates, to go to uni, to work abroad, to meet people and go out and to pop to the shops without needing military precision and expert timing.

If, after that, she still wants to have a baby young (or indeed, it happens when she least expects it like with me), that's her choice - at least she'll have made it knowing the potential consequences and what it will mean for her life. And only then will I tell her about all the good bits of having a baby young

I think the day people take advice from Kirsty Allsop on anything other than bunting is a day to mourn.

This, this, this.

It is relevant if you've got a posh family behind you.

And the fact is that if we put off career stuff, then men will be even further ahead and we'll never catch up.

Oh, moomin. You sound amazing and I'm so angry on your behalf you had to struggle with all of that - especially your parents wanting you to have an abortion.

'Kirstie Allsopp looks like she has been knitted'

I don't think 1 DC is the norm, isn't it 2.1 DCs so stopping after one makes a big difference to fitting in a career.

The Honourable Kirsty Allsopp had her children at 35 and 37. So you'd think she'd be aware that 'fertility falls down a cliff at 35' is bullshit.

The best time to have a baby is when you are (preferably) married to someone who will be a good co-parent. And encouraging women to delay their education could mean some never get to University, great idea Kirsty!

I think her background is very relevant. How on earth can she possibly know what it is like to be a single parent with no means of supporting herself?

If there are any teenagers reading this, my advice is get yourself financially independent before entering into a relationship, never mind children.

I don't think there is a 'normal' number of of children to have. We only managed to have 1 child I tried for another and when DS was 3 I gave up as for me it was no longer a good time to have a baby any more.

Luckily for us this worked out really well!