My mum died 5 years ago today.

[lou33]

And it hurts as much as it did then. Will it ever get easier? I just can't deal with today.

So sorry Lou I have no practical advise to give as I haven't been there. But just sending you some hugs and positive vibes. Take care of yourself today and give yourself to grieve again.

Hugs, Lou. I don't know what to say. Thinking of you,

xx

Sorry to hear that, Lou; the anniversary of my mom's death is coming up next month and I don't know how I will feel.

I knew that was going to be you when I saw the title of the thread.

Oh Lou, you poor little thing. I so wish I could give you a hug. What can I say to you sweet? Nothing really. Just please know that you're a lovley, lovley, kind, funny thoughtful person and you probably owe an awful lot of that to your mummy and... oh what can I say to you????
Allow yourself to hurt today and any day you need to allow yourself to feel sad.

Why don't you go for a walk on your own, find a little church and pop in and light a candle for her? That always helps me. Wish I could say somethig else to you.

Massive love Lou.
Thomcat XXXX

OH Poor you, the htought of your sadness fills me with dread. Mother day must be tough too isnt it?

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(((HUGS)))

Sorry to hear that lou!

(((((((HUGS)))))))))+

So sorry lou its the anniversary of my dads death next week and i do know how you feel, i can already feel the sadness drawing in on me although i try to hide it. Everyone says that time is a healer im not sure i agree with that altogether but for me the sadness and pain becomes more familiar and therefore not quite as painful not quite as raw. Indulge yourself, do whatever you need, a long walk, a long bath, watch a favourite film you shared together, look through old photos and cry it all out if thats your kind of therapy, whatever feels right do!! and keep talking about how you feel its so much better than keeping it in!

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Lou, my mum died 31 years ago last month. It does get easier, honest. But do whatever helps - scream, shout, look at photos and sob your heart out. Talk about her, to your kids and anyone else who'll listen. She obviously was a lovely person and although I know you must remember her every day, special extra memories are allowed today.

So sorry Lou.

Poor you. My dad died 15 years ago and I still cry regularly - I don't want to stop that feeling actually. Look after yourself and indulge it for a bit. Take care.

Thinking of you, babe. I bet she's glad you're remembering her but wouldn't want you to hurt. Not that that'll stop you hurting and grieving and getting through it. Lots of love.

Lou-talk, cry, hug the children and think about her. She's not in pain, you are, and you are her baby. She wouldn't want you to be so sad. Imagine if you were not around, but could see your children and they were still really sad. You'd want to tell them to stop crying and start smiling. Your mum isn't gone, she's in your heart and your head. She's there in your memory, every time you look at your little ones and think "My mum used to say that!" and when you look up at a beautiful sky and know that somewhere, way away, she's there, watching over you and your family and sending all her love to you. It does get easier, slighlty, but you need to get over this day first and then dry your eyes. Mums are so special and you are a mum too, now. HugsXXXX

Thanks everyone for your lovely messages, I'm really touched. Finding it hard not to sob into the screen actually. You are all quite right, it's helpful to hear I'm not the only one feeling the same way.

Dh collected an inflatable dinghy for fishing today, and told me he is going to call it peggy, after my mum. He said he hopes it will be as reliable as she was . I thought that was lovely. He's been wonderful today. It must be hard for him too, as he looked on my mum as his own.

lou - My dad died nearly three years ago and all I can do is empathise. I often feel sharp stabs of pain at the memory of him and have often asked the same thing - when does it get easier? Okay so I don't cry every day but if I allow myself to go there (And most days - at some point - I can't help myself) I feel the same awful sense of loss that I felt at the beginning. I hope today hasn't been too painful for you - Like everyone else I can only send you an empathic hug. I'm sure one day the memories will bring more smiles than sorrow - five years isn't that long when you compare it to how long your mother was part of your life. xxxxx

I still go to call her on the phone, and wake up thinking she is alive.

Oh baby, you are grieving still aren't you, of course you are. Can you see her in any of your kids? She will always be in your hearts and part of your family.

8th of March is a rubbish day I had a mc four years ago today, not in the same league as you I know but I never forget that either

Lou - (((HUG))) Sorry, no advice, but I'm thinking of you...

Maybe we should just obliterate this day from the calendar Suze? Thanks Chinchilla x

I'm thinking of you too Lou. My mum died 9 years ago and I still wake up after some particularly vivid dreams thinking she's alive. I miss her so much. I hope you find solace in your family and friends, I do in mine but nothing, I know, comes close to filling the gap left behind by a mum. I get upset because I've got no flowers to give anyone on mother's day so now I put a big bunch in my local church instead, helps a tiny bit.....

Oh Lou... poor you....Don't know what to say except to reiterate my empathy/sympathy...