What advice would you give fictional characters?

[hunkermunker]

For instance, Humpty, don't get on that wall. It'll end in tears.

Count Fosco - give up now, Marion is more than a match for you

To continue the 'Vic Lit' theme lilibet:
Pip - Estella may be pretty but she'll f*ck with yer head mate. Forget her - go down the pub with Joe and Wemmick instead.

Dorothea, he may be clever but believe me, his cousin's much more the sort of pretty boy you want.

I would really really love to tell Heathcliff and Cathy to quit the games and get on with it. We want happy endings...don't we??? Er, maybe.

Dr Jekell - don't drink that potion

If you keep feeding that weasel with rice and treacle, he will go pop

Oh yes, Motherinferior, especially when played by Refus Sewell

Hamlet, - get yourself a good psychiatrist, and an exorcist while you're at it...

Gulliver - stay at home mate. have a few beers & order a kebab in or summat. On NO account go on any travels

Priam - beware of Greeks bearing gifts!
(Actually I think someone already told him that.)

Are you sure you REALLY want a wooden horse, good people of Troy?

And how about taking some notice of Cassandra just once in a while?

Robinson Crusoe - don't forget to pack a wind-up gramophone and your 8 favourite records.

Oedipus - trust me, older women are more trouble than they're worth.

Jane Eyre, stop calling your husband 'sir'. HE is the one who should be down on bended knee after the stunt he pulled!

And have a chat to that Grace Poole woman and get her to take you up to the attic one of these days.

Patient Griselda, sometimes a girl just has to say 'enough is enough'.

Bathsheba - men in red jackets who swirl swords around are seldom good long term bets. Just think how much more useful someone would be who knew how to cover your hayricks and deal with bloated sheep. (But enjoy the shag with the soldier as I suspect the other may be a bit dull. But save you quite a lot on farm labourers wages and vet bills).

Jack Sprat - opposites attract.

Flora Poste.... Oh, sod it. You seem to have matters at Cold Comfort quite well in hand without my advice or anyone else's, don't you?

.

LOL! I'd forgotten about this thread.

It was from my whimsical phase

Your whimsical phase has lasted quite some time, hasnt it

I really am going to bed now (to watch Working Girl )

You should away too lady.

Oh, thanks for bringing this up, seem to have missed it the first time around!

Mine would be to the nurse and friar in Romeo and Juliet - just leave well alone! Stop trying to help, you will make things much, much worse.

thanks for resurrecting this, I wasnt around in June.

Mrs McCave, call your firstborn Dave and then get some fresh ideas for names on MN. And a trip to the FP clinic sometime might be in order come to think.