What advice would you give fictional characters?

[hunkermunker]

For instance, Humpty, don't get on that wall. It'll end in tears.

Nah Scarlett - just accept you love him and save us 2000 pages of reading...

Old lady who lived in a shoe - get yourself a coil fitted woman.

Taffy - watch your hat if you're going to steal that piece of beef

little red riding hood's granny:

buy a gun woman, you live on your own in the middle of a wood

Cinderella, Prince Charming isn't coming. Stop singing about some bloke, go bitchslap your step sisters, kick your stepmum's arse, and get a job as a domestic servant. It's a start, and at least you get paid so you can lay some by and get your own damn place.

expat

sleeping beauty's parents - stop showing off with your bloody birthday banquet and give your daughter some attention

Message withdrawn

Peter - just mind the bloody sheep and stop shouting "Wolf". Take your Gameboy with you if you're bored.

Mayor of Hamelin - just pay that funny looking Piper the gold you promised him.

Children of Hamelin - listen to your parents and don't follow strange men.

Perfect Peter - just do the opposite of what your brother wants you to do.

Tinkywinky.........that handbag is sooooooooooolast decade.

Hungry catapilla you are a greedy git and teach my kids bad eating habits go to wieght watchers

Tamba, speak properly your voice is *SO annoying!

Little red riding hood, get yer eyes tested

little pigs one and two, stick with your brother, he's got the family brains

Oh, and while you're being told off, Hungry Caterpillar, wtf is the deal with only eating one bite of everything? You'd not be "still hungry" if you ate all of the apples, you know. There are starving children in Africa, after all...

Ohh spelt that wrong didn't I.Caterpillar indeed.

Incy wincy accept that it's over, move on(and up).

my advice to you E.T oil of Olay !!

Polly, dont bother putting the kettle on, Suki is in a bich of a mood.

calling all horror movie girls...he is bloddy behind you!

Barbie you are a jumped up old tart stop giving Ken a hard time

Message withdrawn