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Do you think you're fat?

421 replies

ThingsThatGoHumpInTheNight · 08/08/2013 22:22

I do. And I'm wrong. I know rationally I am not fat. I am 5'5 weigh 9st7ish, dress size 8-10, body fat 18-22%, you can see my ribs from behind and my abs in front....so why oh why do I constantly feel crap about myself?

I do eat more crap than I probably should do (chocolate 5 times a week Sad ) and I do carry weight up top (32FF boobs)...but I am not fat. So why do I feel like I am? Constantly worry that I am. People I don't know well (new work colleagues, random people at parties) make offhand comments 'healthy breakfast again eh?' this morning as I ate a croissant and fruit at my desk and it makes me feel awful.

Are other people like this? Why????

Sorry to anyone this offends...I feel for people with weight issues, I really do, but been thinking about this today (sparked by comment this morning) and wondering if I am the only one?

OP posts:
LapsedPacifist · 09/08/2013 23:56

OP - I wasted most of my adolescent life pre-DS feeling like this! This book saved my sanity:
Fat Is A Feminist Issue

We weren't afraid of the Feminist 'F' Word back then - trust me, the book will help you make sense of everything you are feeling. Smile.

ThreeTomatoes · 10/08/2013 00:03

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CoolStoryBro · 10/08/2013 01:53

I haven't read the thread. Read the OP and am going to read thread now, but I honestly think it's incredibly sad that MN thought that this was a good thread to put on their highlighted threads section.

Women. Stop beating yourself with a stick and worrying about this crap.

Thumbwitch · 10/08/2013 02:53

Perhaps you should have read the thread first, Cool.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 10/08/2013 04:33

But that's the whole crux of the thing, MollyBerry, nobody actually cares about you - in the nicest possible way - they only care about themselves.

The point of the thread seems to be that there's a lot of people out there, judging themselves by way, way harsher, and more irrational standards than they judge anyone else.

You don't need to feel bad, because it's not about you (generic) and the way the world sees you; it's about the way the world sees the person writing the post. :)

I am 5' 9.5" and wear anything from a size 8 to 12 depending on the shop. My BMI is 22. I know that in clothes I am slim (not skinny), but I find it so annoying (pathetically so, I imagine, in many people's eyes) that I can still pinch way more than an inch of my upper thighs and tummy. To be honest, short of starving myself, which I'm simply never going to do, I think this is as low as my body happily goes. I would prefer not to have so many grabable bits, but hey ho. I'm 39 and at least when clothed I look slim.

Again, back to my original point, I know these are my hang ups that most other people simply wouldn't notice. As I don't notice other people's hang-ups.

It's weird, the dichotomy between the huge amount of pressure to be slim. ... and the way we've (humans) evolved away from the body shape that nature intended (being slim) due to our sedentary, food-available-at-the-drop-of-a-hat lifestyles.

It's got the point now where wanting to be the shape that nature intended when we were active and ate good, un-processed food (not to excess) - and being prepared to make an effort to be so - is seen almost as 'obsessive', 'vain', 'self-absorbed', etc, etc... It's almost more honourable and less hang-up-y to just eat what you want and let the weight creep on. People who watch what they eat to ensure they don't get overweight are seen as the weird ones, the ones with issues...

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 10/08/2013 05:18

I am 'skinny fat' at the moment- never got back into exercise post-dd who is now 1, and although I'm slimmish ( 5'7'' , 10st, size 10) I need to tone up big time. Look good in clothes but showing my age in a bikini- it's all looking a little crepey. Doesn't help that I live in the land of the gym bunny ( expat- v v few expat women over size 10 and v few overweight men either) plus the locals are almost all slim. I need to dig out my trail shoes and get up in them there hills Grin

Justforlaughs · 10/08/2013 05:50

Afraid that I haven't read the thread properly (my pet hate) but in answer to the thread title question, yes I'm fat, yes i really am fat and yes I am really fat Wink wish I wasn't and have tried in the past, and now given up

Wuxiapian · 10/08/2013 07:04

Yes, I am fat.

I'm 6 months post partum. Also, 3 months pregnant.

I'm not fretting about it as there's no point.

GobblersKnob · 10/08/2013 07:25

Talkinpeace that link to photos is really interesting.

All the women who are my height and weight look great, but I know I am much fatter than they are .To find someone who I think looks like me when I look in the mirror, I am looking at women 5 stone heavier than me. This is genuinly what I see.

Octopus37 · 10/08/2013 07:28

Technically know I'm not, 5ft5, 7st13, sze 8-10, but have fat days. Feel that I should be a proper size 8 as I'm right at the bottom of my healthy BMI range, know I could try and lose a bit more, but people have told me that when I go much under 8st it really ages me, I'm 38 so not desperate to look older iyswim. I love food and did have issues in the past but feel that this is minimal these days, will always have a healthy appetite but I am also always on the go, walk everywhere etc. Would love bigger boobs, don't understand the bra thing though, and I will always have a bit ot a bum and a tummy that obviously shows I have had kids.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 10/08/2013 07:43

I don't think I am fat. I know I am fat.

teacherandguideleader · 10/08/2013 08:01

I think I'm fat.

I'm 5'6 and weigh 10 stone 5. My boobs are a 28GG. I can't get nice clothes - anything that fits my boobs looks ridiculous on the rest of me.

I have a pot belly, and I hate it. It is all I see when I look in the mirror. I go on holiday next week and I don't want to go because of how I look :(

Greenandcabbagelooking · 10/08/2013 08:32

I think I'm fat. I am 5 ft 6 and weigh 8 stone 10. I hate my body.

TheRealFellatio · 10/08/2013 08:54

There are women who are a bit fat but not huge, who think that proper fatness only starts at size 16 +, and there are thin people who think anyone sized 12 or over should be made to wear a sandwich board saying 'I ate all the pies.'

ChristalTipps · 10/08/2013 09:38

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ChristalTipps · 10/08/2013 09:40

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ChristalTipps · 10/08/2013 09:44

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Thefallentowerofpisa · 10/08/2013 09:44

I'm not medically fat - BMI and body fat percentage are healthy but yes in the world of the Daily Mail's perfect body mafia, I'd be fat for sure. Simply because I'm not stick thin, skin and bone.

PenguinBear · 10/08/2013 09:56

I used to think I was fat when I was young but looking back at the pictures I actually wasn't at all! I just couldn't see it as a teenager.

Now I am fat and know i need to loose weight Blush

ChestyNut · 10/08/2013 10:34

I've been thinking about this thread and it really makes me sad and a little bit irritated.

I think we need to ban the term fat on MN to describe someone because its being used incorrectly IMO.

If your BMI is healthy you are not fat!
You may be feeling untoned, less fit or put a few pounds on but not fat Sad

You may also be over weight if your BMI creeps up but you are not fat.

Once you have a BMI that indicates you are obese then maybe you can say your fat.

Your bodies may not always stay a beautiful 8/10/12/14/16 and you'll look back and think why didn't I enjoy my body and how lovely you looked.

Stop criticising your lovely bodies and enjoy the fact that you can walk/run/bend over and do anything you want to.

If your body was your best friend, would you talk about them how you do?

Be kind to your bodies, they're healthy and beautiful.

Thanks
jammiedonut · 10/08/2013 10:35

I used to think I was fat at uni, when my weight went from 8 1/2 to 9 1/2 stone. I spent many angst filled nights out wondering if I was single because I was fat (nope, probably more to do with miserable face about being fat that put people off). Pregnancy really changed my life with the way I viewed my body. I put on three stone (a stone lost at delivery of huge baby, sea of waters and doubled lobed mega placenta!) and had constant comments about glowing, looking healthy etc. It boosted my self esteem no end. Now, post baby I'm still overweight (compared to pre-pregnancy) but I'm just not bothered. I don't look much different and I'm not trying to squeeze my body inti clothes that don't fit, so even though I'm technically 'fat', I don't feel it in a negative way, because I'm happy with how I look (hard to explain).
I certainly regret wasting so much time when I was younger obsessing about weight.

BrandyAlexander · 10/08/2013 10:39

I am just under 5'2", usually a size 6 and weigh 8 stones-ish so not fat. However, with my height and structure a few pounds (very easy for me to put on) can make me look flabby. I feel fat when my clothes feel uncomfortable.

Talkinpeace · 10/08/2013 10:53

If your BMI is healthy you are not fat
Sorry but that is utter bilge.
If my BMI was 24.9 9 which is just in the healthy range, I'd be over 2 stone heavier than I am in my photo and I would both BE and LOOK ill.

ChestyNut · 10/08/2013 10:59

Maybe overweight but not fat

FeralStreep · 10/08/2013 11:00

Right, I've been waiting for a thread like this.

I'm totally confused.

I'm 5ft 7 and currently weigh 12st 3.

I know that makes me overweight, and I do have curves, but I don't think I'm fat.

I wear size 12 tops, dresses and skirts, size 14 trousers. I have the odd size 10 hanging around too.

Since bra intervention I'm a 34 D/ DD.

People are always astounded when they hear what I weigh.

But comparing my height/weight ratio to you lot on here, I should be huge.

Do I have reverse dysmorphia??