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Original poster

TWINKIE.............. : - )

65 replies

twiglett · 09/02/2004 10:22

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OP posts:
Rhubarb · 10/02/2004 10:26

Sorry Twinkie - can I just say as regards that last thread that I have nothing to do with DL and his comments about you certainly do not tally with mine. I am horrified that he has come back to MN and even more so that you seem to have been targeted in this way.
Hope you can carry on Mumsnetting in peace!

Fizog · 10/02/2004 10:27

Twinkie - glad you're staying (of course) but what happened? I've not been here for a few days and it seems I missed everything

Janh · 10/02/2004 10:32

Fizog, following on the "these men" thread on Friday where he was fingered, he came back yesterday and started a really pathetic one called "what is the matter with these men (courageous)" in which he denied ever accusing Twinkie of anything - so she posted a copy of the email in which he did accuse her of all sorts of crap. Twinkie subsequently got v upset but is fine now.

Now we have all seen that as well as being a total creep he is also a liar he has, apparently, left for good. (But is probably still lurking, hoping someone will beg him to come back.)

aloha · 10/02/2004 10:35

Stick to your guns. Just say no. Please don't think you have to be nice to him. Your dd will be tired and fed up and wound up and you want her home for her tea and bed. My dh has never had his daughter on a school night and he's NICE!

And you don't actually have to be nice to his mother - ever. Or him. I think he's still so controlling - all this 'you will have to' stuff. Well stuff that! You don't 'have' to do anything he says anymore. My dh's ex is horrible - she won't even let my dh drive on her drive when he picks up his daughter (!) and she doesn't speak to him. It's not ideal, but they don't shout at each other, and they don't badmouth each other to my stepdaughter and she's fine - a really happy, confident, sociable girl. We do get on really well with his ex's family, oddly enough, but then my dh knew them before he knew his ex (he was friends with her brother) and they've stayed friends. But then they are all normal!

Fizog · 10/02/2004 10:47

Flipping heck! just saw the thread (thanks Janh). I must admit I thought perhaps as he was back he'd have turned over a new leaf, obviously not. Very sorry for you Twinkie and am certainly glad you decided to stay.

I sincerly hope that b1tchy off board emails about posters are not a regular thing... I'm all paranoid now.

Twinkie - are you getting emai at the moment?

Janh · 10/02/2004 10:53

Fizog, AFAIK his about Twinkie is the only bitchy one in existence - he has had a couple himself about himself - that's all. No more than he deserved too. Not a nice person.

Blu · 10/02/2004 10:56

I think it would be very very tiring for a 3.5 year-old to be lugged about like this on a school night. I think you should just stick to this aspect, imply that you are sure he wouldn't want to exhaust her, and try to keep it away from the 'who has the right' aspect. After all, DD's needs are the beginning, and end, of any decision making.
Do you need to tell the school that no-one but you is authorised to collect her???

Oh, good luck Twinkie, this must all be so wearing, I do feel for you.
XXX

Marina · 10/02/2004 10:58

Agree with all the others that your dd does not need to be lugged about through heavy traffic on a school night, and if he really cared for her he'd see why.
Oh Twinkie, he really is a PITA. You don't need this, do you. Just tell him we all said no...

WideWebWitch · 10/02/2004 11:02

Agree with everyone Twinkie. Just say no to him and tell him it's not in dd's interests. DON'T tell him about mumsnet though!

Twinkie · 10/02/2004 11:07

Sssshhhh don't worry about him anymore. He is gone I hope for good and I think he is that stupid that he won't be able to resist being rude and nasty if he comes back and then we will just have to ban him again - he even used his real name this time!!

I was just worried that emails were going around inthe same tome as the one he sent about me to Rhubarb - well he intimated that anyway - but it is all over now and Rhubarb I don't think badly of you at all - I did think maybe you had a soft spot for him though!!

Fizog - I emailed you yesterday - I am on email but am at home so it is really slow!!

Aloha - I know I don't have to be nice to him and he would bee sooo different if the shoe was on the other foot but he is just so weasily and acts like he is sooo nice and oh what is the point of being awful its all water under the bridge - we have to be nice for DDs sake - I get all of it from him when I actually want to stab him and his whole bloody family!!!

I thought all this would be over once the court case was finished but he still does not let up - now I have got to tackle the divorce too and I know that is just going to be awful - does all the shit ever end when you split up?? Is there a point when you can say that they don't bother you anymore??

Oh well at least I have DD with me and that was the most important thing.

Momof2 · 10/02/2004 11:08

Why do you have to be nice to HIS mother? I have nothing to do with exMIL, except when DD is staying with her on holiday and I call to speak to her, but usually DD answers the phone anyway. Suggest it is time he starts being nice to you not vice versa, you hold all the cards and although it is very hard to do you need to stop letting him bully you.
Aloha - We are not allowed to park on drive either as DP intimidates exh by looking at him !!!

doormat · 10/02/2004 11:13

Twinkie all I can say is you dont have to do anything you dont want to
I think you have been bullied enough by your ex and now dicklib
You are right you should be having a good time now with your dd and partner
not worrying about prats
hugs
xxx

aloha · 10/02/2004 11:27

Momof2 re the drive thing - it's more common that I though!
Twinkie, don't worry about him. We went through hell with dhs ex, but now all the money stuff etc is settled she's back in her box and she and dh have a relationship of frosty but civil-ish mutual loathing! As I say, not ideal, but it works well enough. It's a shame really, but she has been too vile to forgive IMO, and she refuses to speak to me anyway, which is actually fine now. I think if you can bear to be frostily civil to your ex-A (as Sb would put it!) then that's the most he could possibly expect from you. As you said, he's a weasel! The divorce will probably be stressful, sadly, but TBH I do not think you will get a better settlement by being nice to him, probably the reverse. Go for the jugular. He will not cough up your entitlement without it IMO. And when it is over, it will be over for good. And as you say, you have your dd with you so it's all been worthwhile. Grim, but worthwhile.

Fizog · 10/02/2004 12:05

Twinkie - just checked and your mail has been quarentined! They didn't even tell me! Sorry if you've sent any others recently and I haven't received them. I've requested that it is released but I don't know if it will be.

Rhubarb · 10/02/2004 16:46

I wish you the very best of luck Twinkie. I hope DL never comes back in any guise, I was guilty of giving him the benefit of doubt, now I shall be more guarded with my judgements. I sincerely hope everything goes well for you.

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