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Original poster

Should I have sex for money?

131 replies

yawn · 30/01/2004 15:48

I'm not a troll! I post regularly but have changed my name. If you were strapped for cash and someone you knew quite well had joked about paying for it. Would you have sex for money?

We've often joked about it in the past - I'd give him a special rate etc... but it's not actually happened.

Anyway today whilst talking about one of his friends who wanted casual sex - I jokingly said I'd do it. I had a think about it and sent a text to my friend saying I do it for £150.

Would I be wrong to do it?

OP posts:
marthamoo · 30/01/2004 22:01

I hope I didn't come across as condemnatory.

Tbh, yawn's original post didn't sound that serious to me - the way she worded it "strapped for cash", and the nickname she used (yawn - like this was almost a boring subject for her), all gave it an almost flippant tone. It's only later that she said she really is desperate for the money, that she needs it to live, and she really is struggling. Her original post did sound a little bit jokey and flippant to me "would I be wrong to do it?" more in a "what do you all think?" chatty way, not a "Jesus, I am in dire straits and have been reduced to contemplating this" kind of way.

I still think she would be wrong to do it (not really for moral reasons) but for her self-esteem and wellbeing. Where does it stop? How often? What if her friend puts her in touch with another friend, and another?

And stupidgirl, you're right - I have never been that desperate so I am bloody lucky. I can only begin to imagine how agonising it must be to be in that position. What I'm saying is that yawn's initial post didn't come across as desperate, and I think that's why she got such a negative response from a lot of people.

Yawn, if you do come back to read this, I'm sorry - take care, whatever you decide.

bunnyrabbit · 30/01/2004 23:43

I repeat what I said earlier....
Yawn please let us know your situation... maybe someone can suggest a solution that wouldn't be quite so drastic.

You need help, not judgement.

BR

jasper · 31/01/2004 00:49

Yes, if you are happy to be a prostitute.
Otherwise , No.

sb34 · 31/01/2004 00:52

Message withdrawn

jasper · 31/01/2004 00:53

Blu, great posts

aloha · 31/01/2004 13:32

I'm confused. I think there are maybe two posts saying that Yawn would be immoral to do this, and 79 saying, don't do it because it's dangerous/soul destroying and criticising this so-called friend who will only help a 'friend' if she has sex with him - which is extremely immoral in my view. I fail to see that this thread is judgemental.
My mum was very poor when I was small. We couldn't pay our rent and we ran out of food, so I do have some experience of poverty, actually.

Batters · 31/01/2004 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Carla · 31/01/2004 14:53

Wow Janstar - fantastic for you!

sb34 · 31/01/2004 14:58

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Carla · 31/01/2004 15:59

custardo - I'm not right wing or especially moral - yet I post here.

hmb · 31/01/2004 16:09

Quite a few people have posted saying, 'if men are up for it, and it is in a controled ,safe environment, then what is the matter with it?' Well, in the UK prostitutes are normally not in a safe, controled environment. They often don't even get to contol their lives, because they are working for pimps. And whatever any of us think about prostitution, I don't think that many, if any of us would support the right of men to pimp.

The reality of the situation is that if Yawn gets into this , she may not be able to get back out of it. Pimps use violence, intimidation and blackmail to keep women in line. It isn't safe. Full stop, end of story.

I would imagine the number of woment who truly chose to enter the sex trade as a job are in the minority. Most do it because they don't have a choice and are desparate. I don't think that typing this makes me right wing, just realistic.

And I'd much rather spend the time and effort making sure that women don't have to prostitute themselves, by making sure that the welfare system does what it should, than 'sanitising' the trade. How sure are we that the women in Amsterdam realy chose that life? They may be somewhat safer, but does their life make them happy and fulfilled?

And just becasue there is a need, should it always be fulfilled? The guy in Germany wanted to be killed and eaten, doesn't mean that we should let him.

Tortington · 31/01/2004 16:55

carla - so do i ..obviously!

i didn't name any one, its self evident

tigermoth · 31/01/2004 22:06

phew, only just caught up with this.

Yawn, I don't know what I'd do. But one thing I do know is that I would never trust two male friends not to tell others if you get into a paying for sex arrangement. It would be such a juicy piece of gossip. IME men gossip as much as women. Can you stand others knowing? If you can't then don't do it.

I have no moral judgement to make. I think if you want to make money this way, even if it's just the once or twice, don't do it with people who know you.

tanzie · 31/01/2004 22:10

For those of you who have been huffing and puffing and come across all sanctimonious and "holier than thou" - can you say, hand on your heart that you have NEVER had a one night stand or had sex with a man following dinner/day out/whatever - even one you didn't particularly like?

I think £150 is too little. If you're going to do it, do it once and once only and make sure you get a decent price then never see him again. You could never be friends afterwards. And forget his friend - could be a nutter.

bobsmum · 31/01/2004 22:28

Yawn - firstly I'm glad you weren't surprised when several people told you not to go ahead with this idea. It was a bit of a blunt subject header which was bound to stir people up.

I'm really so sorry that you have found yourself in such a desperate situation. You're obviously uncomfortable about taking a £150 handout from this friend, but is there not something else you could do for him other than prostitute yourself? Could you offer to clean his house/walk his dog - anything?

I guess opinions on this whole subject really relies on your attitude to sex in general. For many this would just be another one night stand with a cheque at the end, but for a few this is just totally unthinkable and unfathomable. I can't for a second condone you sleeping with someone for money, but no more than I would condone anyone having a one night stand anyway. But I wouldn't condemn you either - do you see the difference?

But incidentally (for Tanzie) - I've only ever had sex with my husband on the day we got married

tigermoth · 31/01/2004 23:53

oh this has been on my mind - carrying on with what I was saying, yawn. If you sleep with these friends and take money, won't they have power over you? They can tell what happened to anyone they want at any time in the future - even at total worse, your children. OK, it will be their word against yours, and you could threaten to tell their families or friends, but still could you front it out?
You have texted them already saying you will do it for £150.00. So if your friend has saved the text, they have something on you already. Right now it's only words, but could you trust them enough to really keep a secret for ever?

Zerub · 01/02/2004 16:24

Oh Tanzie! I'm there with Bobsmum - dh was the first and last - but surely there are plenty of women who've only ever had sex in a longish-term relationship? I know quite a few.

Yawn - are you still there or are we all talking to each other?

victoriapeckham · 01/02/2004 17:13

Yawn please don t get upset. Your morals are no worse than anyone else s on here. It is isn't the idea of sleeping with a man for money which has offended them, just your price. Because it is only £150 it seems cheap and seedy and desperate. If it was a rich guy offering you £5,000 it would be intriguing, flattering. If it was a million dollars it would be a film with Demi Moore. So it seems everyone here - even those calling you a trollop - has her price dictated by how near financially her hand is to her mouth.

(Personally I m most worried that this guy knows your friend and thus can "ruin your reputation"

OK guys, what s your price for one act of sex with a moderately attractive non-smelly man you won t have to see again? I reckon £50K but no funny, back bottom business.

victoriapeckham · 01/02/2004 17:18

Sorry, I don t know how that stupid winking smiley face got on. I don t even know how to do them.

hmb · 01/02/2004 17:19

Not judging anyone else, but not for any money thanks. I'm lucky enough to be 'comfortable' finacially and still madly in love with dh of 16 years.

marthamoo · 01/02/2004 17:22

Oh, another peckism (outrageous, controversy-stirring sweeping generalisation). The only reason I would have sex on demand would be if my childrens' lives depended on it. If a "moderately attractive, non-smelly man" offered me any amount of money to sleep with him I would tell him to f**k off. Think about it - really think about it - how could you have any self-esteem afterwards? No, not even for 50K, not even for a million. How would I explain where I got the money from in your far fetched scenario anyway?

marthamoo · 01/02/2004 17:29

Well, it worked anyway, vp - I can't believe I'm actually rising to the bait (went downstairs came back up and logged on again).

All women are whores - the only variable is the price they are prepared to do it for?

That's basically what you said, right?

Tortington · 01/02/2004 18:30

lmfao! vp - thats great.

i wouldnt do it for any amount of money becuase i am happy and there would be no good come from it except a broken marriage and broken hearted children. however if i were a single lady i reckon 100k+ ( no back bottom business or oral)

not becuase i think i am worth it - but becuase i would rather be able to buy a house than a convertable merc

however i agree with your assertions re money - the lower the money charged the more sleazy and dirty. i mean the phrase " high class" prostitute - says it all.

WSM · 01/02/2004 19:18

Yawn, here's my tuppence-worth....

If I were you I really wouldn't do it. Aside from any of the moral issues of prostitution, what about the fact that this man has a girlfriend ?! Am I right there? Is it your 'friend' who has a girlf or his friend ?

I agree with what most have said here in that ot is your body, your choice and you (and your children) that has to live with any potential emotional fallout from going ahead. What if this mate doesn't stick to the plan, what if he is violent or forces you into a scary situation ? This decision could pose big risks, can you, as a mother, put a price on those risks ?

It really does sound like your friend is taking advantage of your financial situation here. If here were a real friend surely he would be trying to help you find alternative ways of raising the cash ? He does seem to have a dubious motivation to set you up for sex with his 'mates'.

Weighing it all up in my own mind I have to stick with my original answer of 'NO WAY !'.

StressyHead · 01/02/2004 19:47

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