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Original poster

Should I have sex for money?

131 replies

yawn · 30/01/2004 15:48

I'm not a troll! I post regularly but have changed my name. If you were strapped for cash and someone you knew quite well had joked about paying for it. Would you have sex for money?

We've often joked about it in the past - I'd give him a special rate etc... but it's not actually happened.

Anyway today whilst talking about one of his friends who wanted casual sex - I jokingly said I'd do it. I had a think about it and sent a text to my friend saying I do it for £150.

Would I be wrong to do it?

OP posts:
easy · 30/01/2004 16:12

Prostitution isn't actually illegal, as long as you don't solicit, i.e. go out touting for business, so on a legal front your Okay, but blimey !!!

What if when this bloke turns up you don't like him? say he smells, or is physically just not your type (I mean really horrid)? You say you'd do it for fun anyway, but surely not with a bloke you'd never met before?

And you say this won't get out. Well I'd be very surprised if it didn't. Okay they may not know your friends, but they will have other friends of their own, and guys boast about this type of thing. So what when another of their friends wants you?

And how far do you go? If you'll have sex with a guy for £150, what if they offer you £300 to do something kinky (sorry, I'm old fashioned), or £1000 to do something dangerous (like unprotected sex)?

Oh Yawn in your shoes I'd look at another way to get that £150.

But I'm not judging you. Hey, if you think you'll be happy doing it go ahead, but think of what might happen later, and be sure you can cope with that

zebra · 30/01/2004 16:21

I don't think you'd be "wrong" to do it, Yawn, but I don't think you'd feel very good about yourself afterwards, either.

Original poster
yawn · 30/01/2004 16:26

Well I didn't want to come back to this but feel I have to add something.

Firstly I'm not a troll

Secondly the joke troll=trollop very witty. You excelled yourself.

QUAKERS and EASY thank you for your contributions. It was said off the cuff and I was hoping for some help getting things straight when it suddenly turned semi-serious etc I did not post this to start trouble or to be attacked.

Finally I know a few you in chat terms and I am disappointed in some of your comments/digs/attacks. Now I really will bow out.

OP posts:
tamum · 30/01/2004 16:27

Another great idea dinosaur

I don't really understand what you mean yawn- you've had sex with him loads of times even though he has a partner and now he's going to pay you? Or it happened before he had a partner so now he'll pay you?? I have to agree with the others, it just sounds sordid really, and I can't believe it will make you happy.

suzywong · 30/01/2004 16:28

Yawn
As usual, Zebra has summed up succinctly and unemotively.
I see prostitution as a simple case of supply and demand so have no moral judgement to make about you, but you would have to deal with the emotional baggage it would leave with you.

Good luck in your decision

bunnyrabbit · 30/01/2004 16:29

OK so I'll probably get a few raised eyebrows and some of you questioning my morals (which I assure you are quite sound thank you) but I refuse to change my name... here goes...

Personally I have no problem with prostitution as a proffesion. There are many countries where brothels are legal and run according to strict guidelines with safety of the "workers" in mind.

If someone wants to sell sex for money, and there are people that are willing to pay, who am I to judge, we live in a democracy in this country.

However, sex for money as a career choice, and sex for money 'cos you're desperate, are very different things...

Yawn, I know when you're desperate for money, it's difficult to look past the immediate need, but will you really be able to live with yourself if you do this? Sex with a friend for fun, no strings attached is not the same as being paid!!

If you are so desperate that you are seriously contemplating this, I think you need to find someone to help you. Have you been to social services?

BR

Nicksie · 30/01/2004 16:32

Message withdrawn

hmb · 30/01/2004 16:32

And that 'joke' about him becoming your pimp might not be a joke at all. I would imagine that lots of women get into prostitution thinking that it is 'just this once' and they end up being abused by pimps and being forcds to continue whether they want to do it or not. Paying money for sex alters everything in a relationship. All the power moves to the person with the cash.

And it would seem as if you have some problems with this yourself, if not why the change of name? To my mind prostitution debases women, those that are involved in it, and the partners of the men who use prostitutes. Most prostitues are not in charge of their lives, quite the contrary.

hmb · 30/01/2004 16:34

Hope that my post isn't seen as a dig, I'm concerned that you will get hurt by starting this up.

Blu · 30/01/2004 16:36

I agree with Bunnyrabbit, actually.

Yawn, you asked if you would be wrong to do it. Where does your doubt come from if not from the same thinking that you now see as an attack?

dinosaur · 30/01/2004 16:36

I'm certainly not laughing at you or condemning you yawn. If you do decide to do it, please look after yourself, as someone else on here said, his friend might not be such a nice guy.

zebra · 30/01/2004 16:37

DH's replies:
"I'd do it!", & "Try getting a better bid on Ebay."

Maybe he's right, Yawn, that's the point, you'd probably be selling yourself short.

suzywong · 30/01/2004 16:41

If you could keep this arrangement, and I mean the psycholgical side, the emotional side, the trust issues, the safety issues, the practical side, then all well and good.
But I think that people here are thinking a couple of steps ahead and fear for your safety and your reputation and your feeling of self-worth, Yawn.
It was an easy subject to make digs and witty one liners about, but this is Mumsnet and we generally do care about all posters

suzywong · 30/01/2004 16:41

I meant keep this arrangement just between the (three?) of you.

Quackers · 30/01/2004 16:44

I thought Mumsnet was here to help people but I'm disappointed Yawn that you couldn't tell us a bit more maybe about why you have decided to do this. Someone might say something that might just trigger a thought in your head that makes you say'God why am I doing this'. Sorry you feel you can't post any more. Will you be able to post in your old name perhaps??

easy · 30/01/2004 16:45

Yes, but who can trust a man who will sell his friend to another mate?

hmb · 30/01/2004 16:48

I'd gave huge doubts about a friend who would 'sell' a mate. If he is a mate, can't he help you out in a more positive way?

Nicksie · 30/01/2004 16:49

Message withdrawn

lydialemon · 30/01/2004 16:51

Yawn, Although I personally wouldn't be able do it, I would defend your right to do what ever you want to do with YOUR body.

However, its a bit like losing your virginity - once done, can't be undone. I would really really think it over before you do anything like this. Look at the reaction you've got here, and this lot are normally quite open minded and fair IME! How would you cope with the stigma if it got out? I don't want to put your friend down, but if he's cheating on his DP, he's not exactly Mr Reliable! His reputation won't suffer, but yours definitely will.

Good Luck in whatever you decide to do, but please please think about this carefully.

suzywong · 30/01/2004 16:52

I'm not accepting your shame label, Nicksie
Prostitution is a real issue hundreds of thousands of women turn too for various reasons and if that is their choice they should have as much spport and as many safety nets as they need.

Quackers · 30/01/2004 16:53

No I don't condone it. I accept it goes on but if Yawn was my friend I would do all I could to stop her heading down that route. Surely she's got so much more to her than offering her body and the things that go with that??

Original poster
yawn · 30/01/2004 16:54

Quakers I will continue to post under my 'real' name but I have to say the reaction I got from this has changed the way I feel about posting (not for long I'm sure but I amquite upset at the moment).

I just didn't realise there was such a strong "we'll help you if you have the same morals/opinions/attitude as us" mindset.

I orginally wanted to post more details and tell all but I'm not a good talker and I need to get the ball rolling some how. I was prepared for a few 'don't do its' but I wasn't prepared for quite so much hostility. Perhaps I should've been.

Thanks to those who tried to genuinely help - if the conversation had gone further I could have explained things more.

OP posts:
Dreams · 30/01/2004 16:54

I really Don't think anyone should be laughing I am surly not!
Yawn You must be in a very bad situation with Money if it has come to this!
I know i have been through some hard times with money but i must say i have never considered this as an option and would not have if anyone had even offered it to me!
All i can say Yawn is your friend can't be much of a friend cause no one would offer money for sex if they were your real friend they would lend you the money or even give it to you if things were that bad!
Please don't do this yawn as people have said before you will regret it and once you do it once who knows what will happen!
Try and get Help elsewhere speak to someone about your money worrys!
Goodluck and keep your chin up!

suzywong · 30/01/2004 16:56

Please accept the apolotgies of those who took the p*ss and come back and talk to us, even those of us who don't share your 'mindset'.
You may find someone joins in later on who has been in your shoes and can offer the wisdom of hindsight

Nicksie · 30/01/2004 16:58

Message withdrawn