Should I have sex for money?

[yawn]

I'm not a troll! I post regularly but have changed my name. If you were strapped for cash and someone you knew quite well had joked about paying for it. Would you have sex for money?

We've often joked about it in the past - I'd give him a special rate etc... but it's not actually happened.

Anyway today whilst talking about one of his friends who wanted casual sex - I jokingly said I'd do it. I had a think about it and sent a text to my friend saying I do it for £150.

Would I be wrong to do it?

I am sorry Yawn, genuinly. I don't think we've been much help here except to tell you how bad you should feel. It's the issue itself and I suppose people are protecting you in a strange way and trying to tell you not to do it. Everyone does care though I know that.
Take care xxxxxxx

Yes that is a good point Nicksie.
So come on Yawn, why not tell us a bit more about your financial situation and maybe someone can help you find another way to raise the cash, then you can at least say you have expolored other options

I agree suzywong!

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Prostitution exists because there is a social need for it - always has been and always will be. The problems associated with it here (violence, drugs, pimps, STDs) occur mainly because it IS underground. If it was properly dealt with , with legislation, health checks and unions to protect womens rights to a safe working environment, then the safety of these women could be protected. I know this will be an unpopular view but I won't apologise for the views I hold.

Very well put Lydia

Agree with Nicksie. Just because we say 'don't do it' it doesn't maen that we don't try to understand the situation you find yourself in. But if you ask, should I do it, then you can't be that surprised if people say 'no'. And not just based on the morality, your safety is the main issue here.

I reapeat what I posted earlier, what if the pimp joke wasn't a joke? I bet lots of pimps start by being a friend to woment who are in difficult situations. No disrespect to your mate, but this sort of this does happen.

Yawn - you must be feeling truly desperate to be tempted to do this.
I understand that yot probably don't want to give away too many details in case the regular MN'ers recognise you but maybe people here would be able to offer you some really good advice about how to help you with your finances.
I don't think any of us can judge someone unless we've been in their position. I feel lucky that I have never had to even consider this option but I can understand how tempting it could be if you have children and have sole responsibility for their financial needs.

Yawn, please come back. I think you just took a lot of people by surprise. This is a bit of an emotional subject - a bit like Gina Ford

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Completely agree with twiglett. I certainly apologise unreservedly if your feelings are hurt, but if everyone had come on here and said "yeah go for it" would you have thought oh what a caring bunch of people? It really didn't sound desperate in your original post, it sounded like you thought it would be a bit of a laugh, that was what sounded so alarming.

I'm willing to contribute ......

i always wondered why the thousands of girls who just take any old shag home after a friday night - didn't charge for it.

i think your not in full facts of the information and need to do some research for yourself - you obviously have internet access, maybe then you can make a more informed decision than those of the morally right wing mumsnetters.

i think you are niaive - i mean really - mumsnetters can be a savage cruel bunch of people - and if you didnt know that - and that hurts your feelings.... supposing a guy puts his penis in a place you dont want - and you dont have a say becuase this "freind" is bigger and stronger than you and he paid his money so why not? becuase the sad fact is that in mens eyes a prostitute is next to nothing - your free to be beaten stabbed shagged in any orafice - invite a few mates round ...oh the possibilities!

i'm not willing to contribute - i mean really £150? why not charge more? i fi was gonna do it it would have to be at least a couple of grand.

what kind of friends are these that they think of you this way?

what kind of self respect have you to have friends like these?

if they were friends you could aask them for a borrow of money to pay back at feck all per week.

where are your kids when you are non discrimatorally fucking?
i dont hold anything to the " dont do it its immoral" argument ..rather ...do dont it its down right dangerous and you are creating a dodgy future for you and your children rather than - as your prolly thinking - using the money for a better future.

am actually quite disgusted at the moral attitute which has come accross on this thread.

if there was such a place a legal place where you could go to chose to become a prostitute - where you could be looked after and work in a clean safe environment - where your safety was secured and you kids were not going to walk in on anything - hunny i would say go for it ... but as our wolrd doesnt work that way - your life isnt worth it - you think your male friends wont tell their mates? and them tell their mates? then the neighbours will complain as they will cotton on after a bit and if you live in rented housing you could lose your job - if someone tells the benefits agency - you may have to make repayments.

is accepting money off mnetters ok too? see i think thats begging - i dont give people in the street unless they are big issue sellers and am not about to contribute to such a silly proposition as this

you need a more informed decision than our "opinions" go and do some research make some telephone calls.

Oh good, (if that is you) you;ve come back. I personally am tied up with bathing and feeding kids at the moment but will certainly be around later for a serious full attention chat

I agree with Custardo, how can you call these people friends? They think you are a whore. They want to buy you. If he wanted to help you and had this money to burn, he could give it to you as a gift from a real friend. To demand you 'service' him sexually for money means he is no friend. As for 'selling' you, that's just plain upsetting. Prostitures live pretty awful lives. They get beaten up a lot and raped a lot and nobody much cares. Suppose this 'friend' or 'friend of a friend' beat you or raped you do you think you would have any redressed. I think you are worth more than £150.

By highlighting and posing the question 'what do these friends think of you' and answering that 'they think you are a whore' you are making a judgement call about Yawn and implicating your own judgment to be one and the same, or at least that is what it seems like to me.
Now I don't cross swords with an ex Cosmo editor lightly, I am aware of your mighty writing powers but I do feel that after all the coaxing it has taken to get Yawn to come back and talk you could talk to her too and not present such a hard bitten piece of copy. And she has offered and come up with the sum for the transaction she has not been coerced or had demands made of her.
Please don't take this personally, Aloha, I do admire your style usually and I know you want to help her out.

Yawn, I haven't read all the responses on this thread, but just want to say, I seriously considered this when I was a single mum and struggling desperately to raise my children without help from their dad. As you say, money is money and personally I don't consider there is anything morally wrong in it if there are no other partners who would be lied to or betrayed.

However, I am endlessly grateful that I didn't do it. My dh, whom I met some time later, is a wonderful man and my soul-mate.

I don't believe he would have thought twice about dumping me if I had done such a thing in my past. So I would have either have had to lie to him or risk losing the best thing that ever happened to me. You don't want to end up in that position.

On top of that is the kids, and other members of the family and how they might feel about it later in your life.

I went out and cleaned toilets from 10pm-6am while my friend slept in my bed to mind the kids. I ran my normal business in the day and was always there to pick the kids up. That got me the extra money I needed to tide me over. It was no fun at all, and I was severely sleep deprived, but I held my head up high, and now when I tell people how I managed to survive my poorest time, they say good for you.

I wonder what they might have said if I had chosen the other route?

Well said Janstar

It seems to me, IMHO, that is the best piece of advice Yawn could be given, someone who knows what it is like to be in that situation and has come out the other side

Suzywong, whatever we all feel about the rights and wrongs of prostitution the fact is that Yawn's friend has effectively offered her to his friend for money. This means that he does see her as a potential prostitute. And aloha is spot on when she says that prostitues have awful things happen to them. We can all sit nice and safe in our houses and argue that prostitues would be safer if they had the protections of the law. But at the moment they don't and doing this would be a very dangerous thing to do.

You can argue that it is no different to a casual fling, but I think that it is easier to walk away from a one night stand. There is the potential for Yawn to be coerced to continue this.

And if we realy want things to be better for prostitues, wouldn't it be better if no-one was put in the finacial position where they had to do this sort of thing to get some cash?.....and remember that Yawn was clear that she was considering this for the much needed money.

Janstar, all power to you girl!

I am really shocked at the attitude of people on here. I think that whether you do/don't agree with prostitution, no-one can deny it goes on and yes, some women are desperate, fall into the trap and get stuck. There are other women, (seen on TV documentaries) who really profit from it, have no shame about it and do it because they LIKE getting that sort of money and want THAT kind of lifestyle. NO-ONE (IMO) has the right to slag anyone else's morals off, unless it involves some other person. If you had posted and said that you were putting your kids up for sale, or some such other reason, well yes, I would expect everyone to jump on you. BUT reading through the posts, why do you need the ,money? If you are that stuck, Social Services must help, and reading the posts you have children. I have sat, time and time again, in the past and thought about this. It's easy money (not £150 ) that's selling yourself cheap, but if men are up for it (and it is in a controlled safe environment) what;s wrong with it? )How many women do you know who visit prostitutes?? Men have a high sex drive and if they want to pay for it, fine. I am worried that you are getting yourself in too deep. It may start off as easy money but how do you know what this other bloke is like. He may get rough, he may not pay you and once you get that reputation, you may get hassled and worse still, so may your kids. You could get an STD and then what use would you be? Think carefully, I am NOT judging you. I bet there are MN's out there who have maybe looked at the adverts that you get for "3" people (not sure how much I can say ) and wondered about it. "My life/sex liife is boring, would it spice it up etc etc" but you make the best of what you have got. If other people are involved there is always a "debt" to pay and maybe, just maybe, if you get money the first few times you'll get used to it and have to go further and further until there is no way out.

Do you have a partner/family? How would your partner feel if he knew this was your plan and if you have someone, why aren't they helping you. I agree that although it is kind for people to offer money on here, it won't help you long term. You must need more than that, advice, legal help or whatever. We MN's probably have the resources and rather than offering money, maybe we could offer our "time" instead of cash and talk you through your situation. Whatever you decide, think really hard. There is usually a way out (and I'm not talking B..... ocks, I sold my ex's wedding ring and engagement rings to pay for the solicitors fees. I have sold loads of stuff, for crap money to get through but every time you think there's no way out, stop and wait, just for a moment. That help might turn up and if I can help and you want to talk more, ask Tech for my E-mail. Take care and keep posting. I can only assume that the people taking the piss /high moral attitude have never been so low that that is the only thing they could think of. If I am wrong in that fact, I apologise but everyone is different.

Suzywong, my only judgement on Yawn was that I thought she was worth far more than £150. I certainly do despise a man who sees a 'friend' in desperate financial trouble and whose only response is to offer her money which is conditional on her having sex with him...and then suggesting she has sex with his friend. That's pimping in anyone's language. And yes, I think he must see her as a whore. What other explanation is there? That certainly doesn't mean that yawm is a bad person, just a desperate one who is at risk of doing something potentially very dangerous. Yawn, the risks to your life, happiness, health and reputation are real. Please don't do it. And ask yourself, why is your friend even making this offer?

I do not share the moral views of some of the people on here. I guess that you are offering this 'service' to your friend/s because you trust them? I just think that they probably do not deserve that trust if they would pay you for sex. However, I do agree with Custy when she said "i always wondered why the thousands of girls who just take any old shag home after a friday night - didn't charge for it." It seems such a double standard for people to berate you for your morals, when those who have had one night stands with strangers are (dare I say?) hardly any different! There is still the having to look in the mirror at yourself the next day.

I am very close to someone who is single, and regularly takes men home for the night. It saddens me to see her through the eyes of these men, as she obviously attracts scum, and it seems that she may have a bit of a reputation for being an easy lay. She is a wonderful person, and does not see that she is doing anything 'wrong', because she is single. Fair enough, but it is still a world (sadly) where women who do this are 'slags', and the men are 'lads'.

Oh, it is so easy to judge, isn't it? I'm a single mum. I've had one-night stands. I have considered this route. If it was a feasible option (I have gone so far as to consider the logistics - just like yawn is now) I would do it, to get me out of the situation I am in now.

If you've never been that low, then yes, maybe it does seem impossible or distasteful to contemplate - just be grateful you've never had to.

I'm a single mum on benefits. I want to work, but while I'm living where I am I can't. And until I can work, I can't move. I am truly stuck in the 'poverty trap' and while day to day, we manage ok, I can't pull myself up and move on. It's all very well to say there are other ways, but it's not always that simple.