I can't take much more........

[nutcracker]

Sorry for moaning on but i've had such a crap day again. For anyone who doesn't know, i live with dp and 3 kids in a 2 bed HA flat and have been trying to get moved for the past 18mths. In that time i haven't had one single offer. I have also just this week given up my college course as i couldn't cope with it and everything elase. Yesterday i had my mom moaning at me and today my dad has given his point of view, which basically is that i'll never amount to anything and i need to stop mopeing about and get things sorted. Am i being incredibly weak or what ???? I knew when i got pregnant with ds3 that it would be tough but i just can't cope with not having any room. Even when i tidy up it still looks like a tip because we have just run out of room. I clear the kids stuff out regularly, even throwing stuff away that they still use but its not working. I decided that i would start lokking further afeild for housing but my mom and dad atre totally unimpressed by this and seem to be taking it quite personally. All iwant is some space, not a mansion. Am i being totally pathetic ????????????
Sorry about spellings, i have had a drink.

Have you tried going to your MP's surgery? A friend of mine did this and was re-housed about 6 months later, maybe coincidence, who knows.
Also if you take somewhere that is grottier, you could see it as a temp measure until you can go somewhere else.
Apologies if these are crap ideas, it must drive you insane being so cramped.
FWIW, I've always loved the idea of moving to Scotland - beautiful country.
Good luck with whatever you do.xx

the Mp sounds good - or you could launch a real attack and ring people every day - go to the papers etc etc

regard it as a mumsnet battle!

we are right behind you.

Misdeee has good ideas

hi nutcracker, i dont know if any of this will help, but it looks as if your not having any luck with the council etc, even though you quite clearly need more space.I live in kingstanding (just up the road!) it isnt problem free but the reputation it has is over exagerated.a lot of houses on this estate are council and a lot of them have young families in so i cant understand why the council are being such arseholes to you. there are approx 15/20 houses around the whole area that are no longer occupied, have you tried the housing offices on perry common road and rough road?. i know you want to bring your kids up in a good area but this area does have good schools etc, as i said its no way near as bad as every one makes out.
the only other thing i can suggest is this-
my house is a 3 bed ex council house which runs along the back of kingstanding road ( near the hawthorne shops if u know it), its a private rented property and my landlord charges us £375 pcm, she has approx 20 houses around kingstanding and a few in great barr as far as i am aware. she is a really good landlord and does all maintenance etc, i will ask her for you if she has any properties available at the moment, if you like.
the only other thing i would suggest is seeing your local mp, there is no way that it is right that you are all cooped up in a two bed flat.
hope this helps, take care.

Thanx for all the advice
I have found a good web site (can't do links) www.rentamatic.co.uk (i think). They have hundreds of properties to rent but the best thing is that quite a few are with private landords not agencies so we wouldn't get credit checked.

PIE - 2 kids in 1 bed flat That is awful, and i thought we were cramped. Where do you live ??

TIREDEMMA - Thanx for the offer, at the mo i think i'll hold out a bit longer for somewhere else. You may here from me if i don't find something soon though.

Hi nutcracker hope you're feeling a bit more positive. I'm a similar situation to you and I know it can really easy to get down. We were about 1600 on the list, with those at the top having a 5/6 week wait so we are here forever.... ( and this is after 2 years on the waiting list)

I just wanted to clarify a point about overcrowding to some of the MNers who have posted. Legally to be over crowded you have to have more than 2 adults in each 'living area', which are bedrooms, living rooms, dining rooms. So in my flat for example, we have 1 single bedroom, 1 double bedroom and a living room. We aren't legally overcrowded unless we have over 6 adults - babies aren't counted and kids are just a half, so the council don't have to move us. Never mind the fact that some days it can get me down enough that I'll in the middle of my floor and cry.. To privately rent a 3 bed house here costs min £1000 pcm.

LL - I have found that the policy on overcrowding varies widely between councils and housing associations. The rules should be made universal IMO. For example with the HA i used to have 20 points for living above ground level, but they then changed the rules and now you only get them if you live above the first floor> With the council i still have the points as their policy is different.

According to my HO, thats the governments definition, which the council sticks to as it sold off all its houses and didn't bother replacing them!

We've just gone over to a points system as the old system was apparantly 'unlawful' (!?) So, I'm hoping that when we get our new position it'll be a bit less daunting. Either that or we'll just have to try to ship MIL back off to Cyprus and nick her house

With my HA i am top of the list but on this estate the rate of lettings for 3 bed house is 1 every 5 years. With the council i oringinally had 350 points and needed 1000 to have any hope of moving anywhere. After months of phonecalls and letters i have finally been awarded medical priority on the grounds of my depression and dd2's asthma. This means though that i will only get 1 offer and if i turn it down i get booted off the list (thats why i'm being so picky with areas).
LL- Where abouts do you live ?????

We've got a similar policy - 1 offer and back down the list min. 1 year before next offer - I am also being picky about areas, I really don't want the kids to change schools!
5 years!!!!!! At the top of the list!!!!!
I'm in South London in wonderful Lambeth.

sorry to hear that you're so down nutcracker. I hope something will turn up soon for you and your family.

Across the road from where Dh and I live there is a housing estate. It doesn't have the best reputation in the world but there are at the moment, 9 empty flats on the main Road and another 11 just at the opening of the estate, close to the main road, slightly better to be on the outside of the estate rather than in the middle of it apparently. These flats have all been empty for over a year in fact coming up for nearly 2 years now.

My mother in law asked the local council about these empty flats (was trying to get a flat through the council)and was told that those flats although empty were already earmarked for other families, which is complete tosh as they are still empty and have been for nearly 2 years. Dh and I just don't understand it all. There are people desperate for housing and all these flats are sitting empty doing nothing and they aren't putting people in them. It just seems such a shame when there are people desperate for housing with more space and yet the councils won't use empty houses.

Meanwhile there are these empty flats some of which are 3 bedroomed just sitting there. It's all madness.

I would love to stay in this area but cannot wait 5 years. Obviously a house could come up tommorow but you just never know. I really didn't wnt dd to have to move schools but she makes friends really easily so i don't think she would mind too much whereas dd2 isn't a very confident child and she starts school in sept, moving her after she has settled is somethng i really don't want to do. So i really need to try to get moved before then.

Ggggrrr a chunk disappeared. Meant to say Someone I know has a dd who was 5 when her ds was born and the council told her to come back when ds was 5 before they would even think about giving her a 3 bedroomed flat. Even though there are empty 3 bedroomed flats in the block next to her not being used.

Linnet - Same here. There are two 3 bed houses on my local estate that have been empty for years. Apparently they will cost too much to do up so the council are going to leave them empty.

if its really getting you down you cant stay becuase of your parents - why not apply further afield - and accept or decline an offer as and when?

better to be on a maybe list - than not at all.

i have worked for HA's for some years -( not a housing officer i hasten to add) in my experience - the squeeky wheel gets the attention - you must keep ringing and writing.
are you on the exchange list?

you must weigh up quality of life issues. your mum and dad cant hold you back - and if they truly love you they wouldnt want to. you cannot possible stay in that situation so you must do some research and ringing around neighbouring local authorities, work out transport links to work - if this is applicable.

when applying to other local authorities - you can say you need to move because your leaving your partner due to marital breakdown caused by depression and stress. if the tenancy is in joint names with your housing association the law will not allow you to apply for another housing association house or flat - you must therefore take your name off the tenancy to apply to another HA in your name.

look at it this way - if there are hundreds of people just like you - waiting just like you - what will make you stand out from hundreds of other applicants?

hth

nutcracker, sorry to hear about your situation. It might be worth looking at this site . I was in a HA property and got a swap to a council property through this site - it covers the whole of the UK and there's also loads of useful advice on there re housing laws and regulations.

Really hope everything works out for you soon X

SPACEMONKEY - Thankyou, that site is brilliant. Only problem is that i'm having major probs getting registered. They sent me a validation email with a link that i can't click on. I followed the instructions on pasting the link into somewhere else but got really confused as am computer virgin. I could look at adverts though and was amazed at the amount of people in birmingham being offered houses in dorset and cornwall and other really nice places.

Nutcracker I can totally sympathise being stuck in a HA house myself. I do like the house and it is big enough for me, DH and ds twins but the area. People just don't appreciate that they have brand new homes and are paying a lot less than if renting privately.

Apart from a few neighbours everyone else is on the benefits gravy train (apparently disability is the real cash cow) while we few struggle through on low income. I don't want to bring my boys up here, a girl who stays across from us in a flat is above drug-dealers/users who complain that her epileptic 4 year old son makes too much noise. So we aren't the only ones desperate to leave.

Councils don't care.

I would ignore what your parents are saying as they are only adding to your problems, not helping you. Maybe it is their concern for your welfare but such attitudes are depressing. You are not pathetic, I get where you are coming from!

Good luck!

Thanx loads PAULA71 - I think if i got offered something far away and i really wanted to accept it then my parents would come round but the thing is i'm not sure if i would like living that far away either. Some days i'm so desperate i'd move to the moon. I have about 4 different application forms sitting here for yorkshire and i know that the one of them actually has houses available now, but i just can't decide what to do. Do you think i should just apply and then make the desicion if i get offered anything ????????????

definitley fll them in. You won't get offered anything if you don't copmplete them.