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Original poster

I can't take much more........

45 replies

nutcracker · 13/01/2004 23:14

Sorry for moaning on but i've had such a crap day again. For anyone who doesn't know, i live with dp and 3 kids in a 2 bed HA flat and have been trying to get moved for the past 18mths. In that time i haven't had one single offer. I have also just this week given up my college course as i couldn't cope with it and everything elase. Yesterday i had my mom moaning at me and today my dad has given his point of view, which basically is that i'll never amount to anything and i need to stop mopeing about and get things sorted. Am i being incredibly weak or what ???? I knew when i got pregnant with ds3 that it would be tough but i just can't cope with not having any room. Even when i tidy up it still looks like a tip because we have just run out of room. I clear the kids stuff out regularly, even throwing stuff away that they still use but its not working. I decided that i would start lokking further afeild for housing but my mom and dad atre totally unimpressed by this and seem to be taking it quite personally. All iwant is some space, not a mansion. Am i being totally pathetic ????????????
Sorry about spellings, i have had a drink.

OP posts:
Festivefly · 13/01/2004 23:16

Nutcracker, i know how you feel, what methods have you used to get a new house?

CountessDracula · 13/01/2004 23:17

No nutcracker, you are not being pathetic. I find it hard enough to find space and we have much more than you and only 1 dd and 1 dog plus me and dh.

It must get you down. I think that looking further afield might help if you don't need your parents' help/support for childcare, babysitting, emergencies etc.

Have you applied to the council for a house? Might it help getting your doctor to write a letter saying that it is adversely affecting your life and that you are depressed as a result of your cramped conditions?

fio2 · 13/01/2004 23:18

Awww nutty, it must be awful for you you are not moaning or pathetic at all - you need space, I bet it drives you mad! Lots of sympathy from me and hugs (((((((((((((()))))))))))))))

As for your folks, you have to do whats best for you and your family not your Mum and Dad

Love your personal advisor, fio2 x

tanzie · 13/01/2004 23:19

Not pathetic at all, perfectly reasonable. Can you go and bang on the desk of anyone and demand to be moved? Where are you?

Tell your M & D that their attitudes are not helpful - if they can't think of anything pleasant or helpful to say (or even better, do), then they should shut up and keep their views to themselves

misdee · 13/01/2004 23:19

fight for your right to space. i found it cramped living in a 2bed flat with 2kids. HA are crap imo. the council wree better, and if are flecibale about the type of place you will accept u can get housed quicker. as i was willing to take a masionaette insetad of house i got re-housed with in months rather than years.
living in cramped conitions can drive u mad.there is no room for pivacy, u are conatntly tripping over things/someone, and tbh, i wouldnt be able to do it. get back on to the HA and council and bug them regulary with fone calls.

good luck

ps, i belive that most 2bed palces are only meant for 4people so u are overcrowded, so should get more points for that.

CountessDracula · 13/01/2004 23:21

Have you tried going to your local Law Centre or CAB to get them to try and do something on your behalf?

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/01/2004 23:22

O.k here goes ... I am on the councils medical prioirty list (cos of depression) still being told that i can expect to wait a year or more unless i move to grotty area, am on 4 housing association lists but no empty houses. Have sent letters to all of them from my Psychiatrist, HV and doctor, to no avail. I am even on the list for the grotty castle vale and still no luck.
I just feel so guilty, cos i'm always in a foul mood, and the kids are starting to hate me.

OP posts:
misdee · 13/01/2004 23:24

how grotty is grotty? is it just a bad rep, or is it bad people? the area i moved to has a bad rep but thats years old and tbh i find it less trouble over here than my old place.

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/01/2004 23:25

Oh meant to say, i have said that i am willing to accept ground floor maisonette but there aren't that many around here.
Have just found a 4 bed house to rent in perterhead scotland for 400 a month, i am so tempted, but my family would be devestated.

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 13/01/2004 23:26

MD- It isn't so bad but i can't get anything on there anyway

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CountessDracula · 13/01/2004 23:26

Would you be devastated though? It's you that you should be thinking about here, and your family. What about jobs etc, could you do those in scotland?

Festivefly · 13/01/2004 23:26

Nutcracker i have been on a list for 6 months. I was told that the point system works but a person even if they need the house more will loose out for someone who has lived in the area longer.
Could you try and go independantly, if you look at private rentals you could ring up and ask if they will take housing benifit. Loads won't but if you keep trying some will. Everyone could get on it for you where do you live?

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/01/2004 23:27

Even tried crying at the council offices but didn't get me anywhere.

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 13/01/2004 23:29

I know this may sound silly but have you tried maximising the space you have? Eg bunkbeds, storage in the hall above your head (build a cupboard that takes some of the headroom away), renting a garage to take some of the crap etc?

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/01/2004 23:30

I live in sutton coldfield ATM but a 3 bed house is at least 500 a month. Plus another problem is that if it was up to rent with an agent then we probably wouldn't pass the credit check ( still have a few debts from when house was repossed). We can only afford 400 a month at the most. The other thing with private renting is that you never know how permanant it's going tobe.

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Original poster
nutcracker · 13/01/2004 23:33

I have bunk beds, crammed full cupboards and lots of shelves but i've just run out of room. We have a big built in wardrobe in our room and a cupboard in the hall, but have to very careful about how much we put in these as stuff goes damp and moldey. We have to date, had a t.v, signed football shirts and various items of clothing ruined.

OP posts:
Festivefly · 13/01/2004 23:34

You can do it. You will get help with your rent. Could you have a sponsor to sign the lease for you, someone who would be your , sorry forgotten the word but give there credit details instead. Also sign a long term contract.

CountessDracula · 13/01/2004 23:35

guarantor is the word I think!

misdee · 13/01/2004 23:35

dont go for private rent. u will lose points, and after all the cost id higher and u'll be limited in what u can do to the place. and like u say, u can guarentee how long u'll be able to stay there for.

can u take your points to another council? can u get your gp to write to the council again to get them to bump your points up even more?

and whilst u are wating, then do try maximising the space u have. its one of my main things, to try and free up as much floor space as possible, as altho i know have a 3 bed place , the kids rooms are smaller than b4, so we are looking t storage solutions atm.

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/01/2004 23:36

CD - I actually really fancy living in scotland. Dp is a pest controller and his firm do have offices in scotland. I just think it would be a nice change and a nice area for the kids to grow up in, but i am very close to my family., my mom lives in the opposite block to me and we visit my dad and brotheres every saturday, a bit to religously though, i sometimes think.

OP posts:
Festivefly · 13/01/2004 23:37

Thanks cd

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/01/2004 23:38

My dad could probably be persuaded to be garuntor ( spelling, sorry a bit tipsy ) but only if it was near to here.

OP posts:
JanHR · 13/01/2004 23:41

Nutcracker, I will get the lettings list from my local estate agents for you nand brig them on Friday if you are still going to the Brum meet

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/01/2004 23:43

JanHR- Not usre if i'm going ATM cos ds3 is not very well, only a cold but last time he ended up in hospital.

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pie · 14/01/2004 07:11

I hear you nutcracker, I am in a HA One bedroom flat, 2 adults 2 children, also have medical priority for depression AND mobility problems (I can't even carry my baby up the stairs). There is no new home the horizon...I'm on the council list too, but then so are 4500 others so I'm not holding our hope on that front. If you find anything that will make a HA listen, let me know. Thinking of you xxx