Visiting children trashing toys and house?

[Mummysurfer]

Has anyone any good ideas about how to tackle this without causing upset? I can cope when the visiting children are on their own but when they are with their parents I just don't know how to go about it without causing upset or sounding like a real nag.

ooh, bit of a sore point for me too at the moment. My sster had a little boy a few months after my dd was born. DD is now 2.10 and he is 2.8 and she now has a one year old aswell.
I adore dd of course and we have loads of fun and i don't mind one bit the house messy with toys but she has rules. She must not destroy-throw-rip toys or books. I sound like a right boaster but she is a great little girl, very happpy and well behaved.(most of the time)
HOWEVER..(sigh)....her cousins come at least 1/2 times a week. My sis does let them get away with anything really and they are getting SO destructive! They try to break her toys, spit out food ANYWHERE, throw her books around and swear all the time!! I do tell them every time when they are in my house but to be honest it rubs off on dd and i find it quite upsetting! Don't really know the answer but there you go, i've got it off my chest! I find after they've been she tends (of course ) to mimick their behaviour then she gets told off! TBH i am trying to do more activities outside the home to get her different influences. I feel so guilty talking like this about my own sister!

This thread has brought back some really nasty memories! Mine are now teenagers, so we don't have this problem anymore, but my bf when mine were little had the child from hell! He wasn't autistic & there was no reason for his appalling behaviour except that he was spoilt.

My house is horribly messy- I'm not in the least houseproud, so ordinary playing-with-toys mess never bothered me at all. He would arrive, empty the toy box upside down & spread everything across the floor. (Ours just took out what they were playing with- a dozen or so on the floor is fine, but whole toybox?).

He'd then start demanding to go upstairs & I'd tell him no. (All toys in livingroom). He'd keep on & on & eventually sneak up there on the pretext of needing the loo. I'd find him up to no good, poking around in one of the bedrooms- usually mine.

One time I put the stairgate up before they arrived. His mum said "he can climb that" !!!!!!

He would break stuff on purpose; take food out of the fridge/cupboards without asking (having been given drinks & biscuits); you get the picture. He would also demand to see the baby & be practically climbing in the pram & pulling at his legs. Beccarol- the boy you describe is exactly how this dear little soul used to be with my younger boys.

His worst trick was to slyly poke, slap or otherwise antagonise one of my kids, then when they retaliated run to mummy. More often than not his mum saw the retaliation but not his initial attack. We almost fell out the day she told off my DD for defending herself!

She used to tell him off, and shout at him quite a lot at their house, but never seemed to be aware of his worst behaviour. I was relieved when he started school & we no longer had to put up with him. His younger brothers were fine.

(All this was 14 years ago but it's making me angry now to think about it!) I still have problems telling off children when their parents are there. I suppose it is a lack of confidence on my part, but also that I keep an eye on mine and make sure they behave, so I expect other people to.

I know exactly how mummysurfer feels.dd will be three in march.our best friends two boys have the run of their house and are destructive.my friends youngest son goes to playschool with dd.this is fine no trouble there but his mum is no good at dishing out punishments etc when needed.
They lead her astray,wreck most of her toysand then they tease her as well some of the time.we avoid seeing them as much as possible to avoid arguments.they are both behind with education etc.i don't think they bother too much,they just seem to have given up on them and their own relationship.