Mankey, your message really struck a chord with me.
I had to overcome severe nerves to learn to drive, and even now I wince when I'm in the passenger seat and a lorry comes close.
I do not think I have great hand to eye co-ordination or very quick reactions - a view endorsed by others, especially tennis partners! So I had to learn to drive very, very slowly to build my confidence. Driving for me was an acquired skill, not something I could do instinctively at all.
If you are like me, then can I advise you to go at your own pace, even if it is a snails pace. It will be no good anyone telling you you can do it to boost your confidence - you have to feel you can do it. For this you will need a very, very patient driving instructor. I went through a few of them - some were real horrors and tried to rush me. I then found a good one and then stuck with him.
Incidently, I heard along the way from a driving instructor friend that some driving schools (naming no names here!) are results-driven. They classify learner drivers into those who will easily pass the test first time and those who might not. Individual driving instructors also need to show they can get their pupils to pass, since this reflects well on their own performance record. There is the temptation, therefore, to concentrate their energies on their best pupils. Consequently you may find, as I did, that being classed as a 'driving thicko' you get passed around different instructors, you are generally messed about and lessons often get cancelled. Just a word of warning. If you can, get a driving instructor by personal recommendation.
(now waiting to be contradicted here by someone who is a driving instructor...)
More about driving instructors in a minute....
After three attempts and at least 100 lessons, I finally passed my test, when I was in my late twenties, but then did not drive for some years. Bad mistake! Had someone stuck me behind a driving wheel, I would have been useless. I had to get back on the road when I was 34 years old because I ran a market stall and my driver friend was moving away, so I needed to take over the wheels in order to continue. Coincidently, I happened to be pregnant at the time.
How well I know that sick feeling in the stomach, Manky! Here was I faced with an unfriendly car, pregnant and a business to run. My husband couldn't help me - he couldn't understand how I could be so afraid. To get back into the driving seat I had to set my targets extremely low.
I live in a built up area that I know well. I walked round a short circuit of four streets and studied the junctions (don't laugh!). Then I picked a really quiet time and drove round these four streets for 10 minutes. The next day I did the same - I had to force myself to do it. When I felt happy with this, I added another street to my circuit (sometimes going on foot first to raassure myself). As my circuit grew, I built up confidence, until I felt ok about driving round our local area, then further afield and finally on motorways (the speed really freaked me out at first so I took this step last). The process took me at least a year.
You may be asking why did I not have some booster driving lessons rather than doing it myself? well I did this and got an awful instructor who, 5 minutes into my first lesson with my hands visibly shaking, told me he couldn't believe how I could have forgotten so much and would need vast numbers of lessons with him in order to be safe. He might have been partly right, but he took away what little confidence I had.
I have now driven confidently for about six years. Yes, I have had the odd scrape and a small accident, but the same goes for lots of drivers out there! And I have done a huge amount of driving. I drive to and from work - over two hours a day on motorways, plus trips all over London and the countryside. I still get those nervous pangs, especially when I see a lorry looming behind me in the rear view mirror, but I find a bit of loud swearing helps no end! I also make a real point of keeping my distance. It really helps to give me confidence.
As I said earlier, I was pregnant when I attempted to get back in the driving seat. This was added stress and I nearly gave up. But a friend said to me 'just think how empowered you'll feel - won't that be a good thing to pass onto your children'. She was right.
Speaking personally, life is a lot easier knowing I can get in a car with my two children and drive away. It's a freedom I really value and I try not to take it for granted. Learning to drive confidently came at a really apt time for me, too. As a mother of a newborn I, of course, lost much of the freedom of choice I had as a childless person, but driving gave some of it back to me.
Manky, I wish you well. Driving is difficult for someone like me, but if I can do it anyone can!
PS I read somewhere that it's the more intelligent people who tend to have difficulty with driving - apparently they have quick imaginations and are more likely to see the possibility of accidents when they are on the road.