Trying to conceive

[Tia]

I don't know whether there is some unwritten rule about not discussing TTC on Mumsnet, but this is absolutely my favourite discussion board,and I would far prefer to talk here, rather than on some of the other sites (unless someone has a good recommendation?) I am 37 years old with a nearly 2year old and have been trying to conceive my second for about 8 months. I have all sorts of nightmares about my eggs withering away and entering early menopause, and would love to hear of other experiences - particularly success stories. Any one else want to chat?

Chiba, I am so glad you are starting the year on such a positive note, after what you have been through. Having a miscarriage must be one of the most painful experiences a woman can have.

Just to add to what I've posted earlier, I know I got more and more stressed with every passing month that I failed to conceive and (as a Christian) I admit to getting very angry with God - why was he letting me down like this? It was only after the lap and dye after 2 years of trying (where there was found to be nothing wrong) that I decided to be more relaxed. I don't know why really, as it meant possibly having fertility treatment so I should have felt more stressed. But we decided we should have more faith as Christians and didn't go for any more treatment. So I don't know if it was the lap, or trusting in God more, but as I said I fell pregnant the next month.

Looking back I now feel that it was all down to timing as 2 years previously we were in debt and hadn't finished the house improvements we were doing, so having a baby at that time probably wouldn't have helped, and when the baby was born all our loans, etc. had been paid off and the house was ready (it now looks like a bomb site, thanks ds!).

So this time around, although we have been trying since Aug/Sept, we are staying relaxed and telling ourselves that maybe the timing isn't right yet (but I think we need to try a bit harder though, lol!) - so watch this space!!

My last born is 4 months old - born last Sept. He was supposedto be a 2000 baby so we kinda missed the boat by almost a year of trying but he is gorgeous and worth the wait. I am 37 and it was much much harder trying to conceive him as opposed to my earlier two. Opportunities were fewer and far between (belive me!) and I suppose the eggs were not as many. I did relax and I think that helped, but I suppose it is easier to do that when you have 2 already than when you are trying for no 1. Just wanted to encourage you that it may not come according to your plan but when/if it does it is just as gorgeous.

One thing that interested me reading through the messages was I noticed a number of people had conceived following a lap and dye, I have also heard the same thing following a D&C. Do you think that giving your uterus a bit of a clear out could have some effect? Not that it is an option for me at this stage, I still can't get a referral.

Just to say good luck to you all and to offer this thought. Gave up coffee while pg with DS (couldn't stand the smell of it) and kept to that, also cut out alcohol and kept off it afterwards and drank lots of water and kept that up too - basically because while pg I felt so much better so decided to keep going with healthy lifestyle - result, pg with DD a few months after we really started trying. Hope this doesn't sound preachy, but honestly I have so much more energy (just as well with 2 tinies to run round after). Current issue of Red magazine has 40 top tips which may help. Would also say don't obsess about 'how big a gap?" - there are some things you can't control and perhaps this is one of them.

We tried for almost a year to get pregnant with out second child. Our first was an accident so I thought it would be easy. I got obsessed and made my husband perform when ever there was a red light on the personna. The month it happend neither of us was that well so we had not had much chance to try, so I relaxed about it. It is easy to say relax, I could not, but just try not to let it rule your life. good luck

I just thought I'd add here. Firstly I know how you all feel, I had IVF for my first child. When it came to trying for my second we tried half heartedly as I assumed I couldn't get pregnant. But after 6 months we went back to see the IVF people. Then we realised we couldn't afford it for a little while so just kind of gave up. 2 months later I was pregnant! (actually the month before I also had a positive result but came on a couple of days later).

I think there were 2 reasons why I got pregnant. The first is because I 'knew' I couldn't get pregnant and resigned myself to the fact I would be going in for IVF again. The second was 'good sex'! ah said it. Not your mechanical stuff you usually do when trying but real animal sex (i'm embarrasing myself now) also I doubt I knew when the right time of the month was when it happened.

Perhaps you could all give yourself a 3 to 6 month rest, where no counting days, making hubby take cold showers etc etc, have sex more regularly so you are not completly missing the right time, but don't check calendars or have sex if you don't feel like it (ie just because you are trying, you are not exactly trying in this time). Don't be dissapointed if you do not fall pregnant within this time (set your own time frame) as you are in a 'bubble' of time that doesn't matter.

I'd like to wish you all, all the best for 2002 and good luck.

pamina, that is wonderful news for your friend, and you must be overjoyed too. I must say, when I had the lap and dye, I was told that my tubes had had a good 'chimney sweep'!

Hi all
I couldn't belive it when I happened to notice your thread Tia - you could be me! I've wondered several times why there was no ttc conversation on mumsnet as it is by far the best site. I've been on many of the others and have learnt a lot about what to do/ not do, eat/not eat, etc but quite apart from all the positive reasons why mumsnet is nicer -there is so much clicking and waiting involved in all the other boards!

I am 37 too and have been trying for no 2 since August. We had problems conceiving dd (2years 3 months to conception)- I had 3 miscarriages, 2 early, one at 18 weeks after an amnio. None of it was much fun!
I had a very erratic cycle but did manage to regularise it by use of homeopathic supplements - as I said I've learnt a great deal from some of the other sites even if I don't like them as much as Mumsnet.
Someone has already mentioned the article in Red last month which was very good - I'd also recommend the book 'Taking charge of your fertility' by toni weschler ( amazon)- there is also an associated website ( american)TCOYF.com
I really wish someone had sat me down when I started to realise that I wasn't going to conceive easily and told me everything that I have found out over the last 4 years!

I'm actually taking Clomid ( a fertility drug) for the first time this month as I don't think I ovulated for 3 of the last 6 months and my luteal phase ( time from ovulation to period) is shorter than it should be ( 10-12 days not the standard 14).
Unlike your experiences I found that as I was 'old' my GP investigated our failure to conceive the first time round after just 9 months and then referred me very quickly ( after 2 miscarriages rather than the normal 3) and has been prepared to prescribe Clomid when I asked about it having read on TCOYF that it was what many people had used as an 'antidote' to luteal phase problems. I am very aware that it is no wonder drug - and can also 'mess you up' but I have to remain hopeful!
Anyhow - I'm rambling on so I'll end here by mentioning that you can get cheap ov kits and preg testers at fertilitytest.co.uk.
Fingers crossed for everyone!

I have a 2 and half year old who was conceived after ovarian drilling (such a horrible term) and Clomid, as I have poly cysyic ovaries. When she was about 6 months we decided that we probably wuold like another child and it was likely to be difficult and so we stopped using contraception - 2 years down the line nothing - we are going to see a specialist in 2 weeks time but I can't bear the thought of ovarian drilling again as it will mean a hospital stay and not being able to look after my daughter. Has anybody had any success with non surgery treatment for getting pregnant with PCOS? Would be grateful for any suggestions.

Hi Everyone - there are several threads on trying to concieve in the conception section.