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Trolls: long and serious (sorry!)

59 replies

marthamoo · 02/01/2004 14:45

OK, this has been bothering me for a while now and I've ummed and aahed about whether to post or not..so here goes.

There seem to have been quite a few troll accusations levelled at new posters recently, some made by people who have hidden their identities in order to make the accusation. I don't know whether the original posters were really trolls, and that's the point really, NO-ONE does, not for sure. Troll is a euphemism for calling someone a liar - would a person actually call someone a liar to their face IRL if they doubted their story? I know I wouldn't.

The reason this matters so much to me at the moment is because just before Christmas something very tragic (can't go into details) happened to the husband of a woman my dh knows. The very next day she gave birth to her first baby. My dh (much to my surprise, as he moans like mad about the amount of time I spend on MN) asked a mutual friend to tell her about Mumsnet, as he felt the support of other online Mums might be of help to her. To my knowledge, she hasn't posted, and to be completely honest, I'm relieved. Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel if she had posted, as a new member, with a story that sounds like something out of Take a Break or Chat My Real Life Tragedy but in fact is TRUE, I think it's quite likely she would have been accused of being a troll. How devastating for someone in real need, and emotional distress, to be accused of making up stories.

I do know trolls can cause real upset. A poster on a site I used to frequent caused a lot of upset to many vulnerable people by posting about the death of her child, under the most horrific circumstances. But when it all came out, the poster HAD lost a child, not in the circumstances she described, but she was obviously someone who did need help, she sadly chose a destructive way of looking for it.

I'd just like to sound a note of caution - if you suspect someone of being a troll (and I'm neither naive or gullible - I know they're out there) surely it's better to give them the benefit of the doubt? And if you can't find it in yourself to do that then just don't respond. Surely a real troll is looking for a reaction - lack of interest is likely to send them off to new pastures.

Right, public service announcement over, I'll get off my soapbox now. I just really felt I needed to get that off my chest.

OP posts:
Tissy · 05/01/2004 18:07

Shireensmom, here is the ttc thread they are talking about. The two sexually explicit posts have come from people who have made no previous posts.

Levanna · 06/01/2004 01:38

Hi, I'm new here too. There was a big problem and a lot of hurt caused on another site I go on, caused by 'trolls'. Several people have mentioned that most of them are obviously disturbed in some way, even if their 'real' problem isn't the one which they choose to write about.
What I am reading here (excuse my hormone's and unusual sensitivity! ) is worrying me because, well, like I say, I haven't been here long, and I joined in on a thread about conception. The lady who started the thread mentioned tabout her husbands tubes of stored "wrigglers". It kind of paved the way to me telling about an incident with my husband when he had to provide a sample prior to me being given help with fertility. No-one has replied since I wrote this message (there was more to it than just that, honest!). That in itself doesn't worry me in the least, but having read here, I am starting to feel a little paranoid! You see, I'm of the type that would rather be told if I have offended anyone, inadvertantly, and so be given a chance to genuinely apologize. It seems that it would be a shame to ostracise people who may very well have caused unintentional offence? It is a difficult one!
Regards, Levanna.

robinw · 06/01/2004 06:44

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robinw · 06/01/2004 06:44

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robinw · 06/01/2004 06:44

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motherinferior · 06/01/2004 08:17

BTW Shireensmom how are you now? Has life settled down in any way?

SHIREENSMOM · 06/01/2004 20:17

yes it has a bit thanks for asking im enjoying my job and have made a few friends witch is very good and my boyf and i are getting on but his family are still a very sore subject!!!

libb · 06/01/2004 22:11

Levanna has got a point though, it can be a bit difficult to start new threads at times - but I'm afraid I can't offer suggestions as to how this can be dealt with. Has anyone else a suggestion or two?

It would be a shame to lose newcomers because they feel they can't post their views etc.

popsycal · 06/01/2004 22:12

i thik that if someone is worried then just contact mumsnet - let them decide

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