How was your Christmas - good, bad or indifferent?

[handlemecarefully]

Mine was okay...but I am cursed by the character trait of 'perfectionism' - so most longed for events don't quite live up to the idealised picture I have built up in my mind. My 17 month old dd was uncharacteristically irritable most of the time (probably overwhelmed by all the relatives and the fuss being made of her)....and the relies got on my wick a bit here and there.

Still no major arguments or ructions, a few laughs and feel good moments.... Christmas dinner was cooked to perfection, and all of us got at least some nice pressies.

Would give the day an overall score of 6 out of 10.

oh goodness, countess dracular, that sounds awful. I have had glandular fever and it knocks you for six. How on earth you even found the energy to row - you must have felt doubly awful afterwards.

Prufrock, sad for you too. I can hardly imagine the stress and pain such an ogre of a stepmother has caused to all her children. I think your dh has the right idea in suggesting you all stay away. If you get on well with your little sis and brother, you can still let them know they have a big invitation to your house - the standoff does not include them. And as they are 15 years old it won't be long before they can pick and choose where they spend their christmas, I hope. I agree with bk, if you recognise the horribleness of your stepmother's behaviour, and its effect on all around her, I am sure you will not copy her.

jimjams - happy birthday! and so glad both your sons enjoyed opening their parcels.

I buck the trend in that I spent christmas with our small extended family in Devon and there was less friction than if we'd spent it at home as a nuclear group. dh and I find his mother and father are a civilising influence on the whole. My fil had his 70th birthday on Dec 22nd, so his party celebration drifted into christmas, and then there was the panto, the walks on the moors and the beach and then it was time to go home. It all passed very quickly with lots to do throughout. We were all sad to come home, so that's a result!

Best bits: my MIL and FIl finally warming to my youngest ds, now that he's that bit older. It's taken them a long time to go from kind toleration to true affection. And also my present from dh - specially commissioned diamond earings, bought with money he saved from his pub allowance throughout the year. I have grown to expect simple, ie inexpensive presents for christmas and was totally amazed he had done this. I thought back to the rocky patches and rows we'd had over the year (as you do) and then realised that throughout it he must have kept to this plan

Also, it's good to be back on mumsnet and there's so much catching up to do. Now in the half hour I have left, shall I read or shall I post? decisions decisions.

So Sorry CD and Prufrock!!

Countess: Not sure what you have done already, Even if you think this is WIERD, Can you please go to see an herbologist or acupuncture physician (not that you have to get the needles), they can recommend herbs which are fantastic for these things, Elderberry is great and Lonicera Complex made by Evergreen would be great also. A few visits to the cranio-osteo would also help alot in rebalancing your system so that you can get stronger faster and have much deeper,healing sleep. I hope you feel better soon--I know it is crap to feel that way.

Prufrock: You will never be your Mom honest, just being aware of it will stop you. It is so tough to try to re-learn how to behave when you have been brought up and "subjected" to the harsh criticism--I can relate. We always want our Mum's love and approval deep down inside, it is when that becomes debilitating that there is a real problem. I understand your fear. I hope the New Year will be better for you in a loving atmosphere at home. Appreciate your DH if you can open up to that and learn from him in how he manages stress and conflict. Love you you!

Here Here TigerMoth and Happy Birthday belated Jimjams!

Tigermoth, you make me laugh with your decisions about whether to read or post! I'm only able to do the former sometimes these days due to dd on my lap and only one hand available for clicking the mouse. I'm glad you had a lovely time and great news about your ILS warming to your ds2. Prufrock, how horrible, I agree with everyone else - you won't turn into her because you're so aware of it. My ds tells me when he thinks I sound like my mum and it really pulls me up short. Sorry it was horrible and for you CountessD - I hope you're feeling better.
HMC, you're right, on the whole we do all seem to have done better when it was just our immediate family don't we? BTW, dp and I woke ds up at 7.30am on Christmas day since dd woke us early and we couldn't wait any longer...which ones are the children?!

My Grandma died unexpectedly.

Not on the day itself, but it has kindof cast a pall over the memory....

hi prufrock, well that does sound awful. i'm sure you are feeling extra vulnerable at the moment, what with being pregnant, moving etc. don't understand your comment about the towels though - obviously it is completely unacceptable not to have a matching set...

cd, sorry you are not feeling any better. have you thought about a tonic like floradix?

tigermoth, that sounds like a really excellent christmas

my own christmas was rather pleasantly unremarkable.

sorry to hear that, oakmaiden.

really sorry about your grandma oakmaiden
lolxx

cd hope you get better soon

so sorry about your granny oakmaiden and about your christmas CD. mine was nice - just us, my mum and brother from Monday - Thurs, nice presents, great food, children on v good form. THen big family session on Boxing Day and again on Saturday (DH's family), again at our place. Also nice and no frictions (but heard the hilarious stories of the fights we'd missed at DH's family on Xmas day!). Then yesterday and today have sat 12 for lunch both days with friends. And tomorrow have another 5 people turning up for 3 days and we'll seat 8 for dinner on NY Eve. So by the time that is over I will have been catering for other people for 10 days solidly, and will almost certainly have freaked out at my dh at least once by then because he has failed to peel spuds fast enough or something or other....

I'd like my house to myself and be able to eat toast for supper in front of the telly again, sigh....

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Prufrock, Oakmaiden

Sorry if I am posting at the moment without really reading threads, I'm just too shagged out!

BK have been guzzling floradix like there's no tomorrow. Am going to herbalist this week sunchowder. xx

I'm sorry to hear about your granny Oakmaiden

And your Xmas CD and prufrock. Perhaps you should all go on holiday next year?

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glad you and your Sil got on ok robinw. I remember the thread you started about her. As for those presents to your dd - words fail me!

www, hope your blissful relaxing week is still continuing. You will have to perfect the art of typing one handed. Somehow I am sure you will...

Ours was sort of mixed. DS is 2.10 and was absolutely astounded to receive his presents. It was lovely. However my BIL's father had a series of strokes beginning on the 23rd and was pronounced braindead on Boxing Day. So although he wasn't close to us it wasn't nice to see them go through all that - they had been to our house for a few hours on Boxing Day between hospital visits and were at in-laws on Chistmas Day for lunch. Also had an awful cough/cold which meant that I couldn't sleep in bed and had to sleep on the two-seater settee for a week. Being pregnant means I couldn't take much to alleviate it and also my pelvic floor was letting me down. Also developed an inexplicable rash on one side of my face. And now I'm at work in a virtually empty office having left DS and DH cosy in their beds.

Actually having read that back I think I have played on the negatives somewhat. DS was gorgeous (although naughty in phases) and that counted for so much. He has had an absolutely brilliant time.

mine was pretty unremarkable. DH was working all day (Christmas isn't really recognised or celebrated in this part of the world, so it's just a normal working day for the 'locals'. DD and I spent the morning together and then went to a friend's house for some drinks..........on the way home met up with DH and went for a late lunch (he skiived off work for a couple of hours) - spicy SPICY food, not turkey! then home and when DH came home a normal evening of chores then early bed

oh and forgot to say DH and I had spectacularly huge row in the morning which kind of spoiled the whole day.

So actually it wasn't that great really. For the first time ever in my 29 years I spent the majority of the day alone (well with DD but she is only 6 months).......felt really homesick for the first time in the 6 years that I have been here..........and god did I feel every one of those 5000+ miles between me and the rest of my family

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Not all that unremarkable sarahu then. Also interested in where you are.

I'm in southern Thailand. Very nice it is too, though even after 6 years here I don't feel remotely Christmassy - partly due to the fact that it is so b*!@&# hot (about 33 C today) but also because DH is buddhist (he's Thai) and so doesn't really have a clue at all about why Christmas is an important thing for me (even though I'm not especially religious)

i had the worst christams ever my boyf who is asian and doesnt celebrate xmas promised me that this year he would try and make an effort on his xmas eid i made a real big effort for him and dd but xmas this year was just a normal day noty even a card of him he just sulked the hole day