Are you in love with your boss?

[lavender1]

Anyone really attracted to their boss, the chemistry thing?

If you have chemistry isn't it always there, dh and have never had, but after 2 years my boss is so attractive, even after months of do this, do that ( Always thought it was always there and attraction was so strong and couldn't avoid)....how do you suggest I stop feeling attracted to my boss? Get another job?

That might work, but I get the feeling you would soon become attracted to someone else.
How about talking honestly with your dh, or would that be madness?

No, it wouldn't be madness, just would love the imense attraction thing with dh, I read about couples who have that after years so feel am doing something wrong! Can't help the way I feel, am very passionate person but want to feel madly about dh and not just he's the father of my children so wish dh was boss in bed. Terrible person I am!

Lavender, I believe that something that turns attraction to the highest levels is knowing that you shouldn't go into that direction. When something is forbidden (as you and he are married) it adds an aura of tragedy to the relationship and makes you feel more attracted by him, the truth is that if your relationship was more feasible you wouldn't feel so attracted.... and I agree with Norma, I don't believe that lust last forever because love gets transformed with time and the relationship goes from just expectations and dreams, to plain reality... however I really apreciate that what you get in exchange is not bad, I love how easy is for dh to recognise what I need and love to be able to enter in to the bedroom without making a big fuss about what he would think about my cellulitis, there are some nice things that you gain with years of trust, I am too lazy to think in starting all over again from the beggining...and who knows, maybe your boss seems very attractive at the moment but would he continue to be attractive when you find out that he monopolise the toilet in the mornings?, that he spend the full Sunday reading the newspaper and doesn't want to go in holiday for fear his little plants woul die while he's away? there are many things we don't see or even imagine when we don't have access to the full picture.

Thanks all,

Although not the ideal, I think in the long run it is; I am going to keep on having my fantasy dreams involving me and the boss and it is very delicious and will remain so....if I ever write a novel about the passion you guys at Mumsnet will be the first to know....Thanks so much for your sound advice...this is such a personal site which I cannot fault in any way...

Love and kisses

Steph

lavender, if you are there, we are in the fat bar

As a SAHM, my DD is my 'boss', so an exhuberant YES !!!

As a SAHM, my DD is my 'boss', so an exhuberant YES !!!

Lavender1 know just how you feel. I have a HUGE attaction for someone I used to work with, he knows how I feel about him and he has admitted that he has always had a soft spot for me, but I am married and he has a girlfriend so nothing can come of it. If I had told him about my feelings 6 years ago, I think it would be different, but I can't turn back time.

I agree with Chandra .....

lavender1
Chandra says it all perfectly.

Don't let that passion and those thoughts go to waste, do write it down and make a novel of it, afterall there is always a market for erotica, clearly many women empathise with you and horticulture is wildly fashionable at the moment.

Get writing but change the names!

I couldn't help but read this one as I fell for someone (a colleague, not my boss) at work whilst being married to another. My soon to be ex DH is a lovely, kind and just man but not for me . . .

My DP is pretty much the same as DH (as in kind etc), but he has that edge and that "something" that I really adore and love (my mum tells me it is because he doesn't take my nonsense and is my very own personal pain in the bum but it makes life is so much fun! I was always one for a challenge). We have been through the mill and back because of what we knew was inevitable for DH but it has been getting better with time. All this kicked off in April and our first child is due in May (obviously not planned but we don't hang around here!) DH is a star as always but I know it would've been a life of making do with him, lovely as he is.

I think you will know deep down if yor feelings for your boss should be allowed to unfold or if you can let them run their natural course and go away . . . if that doesn't help then imagine being pregnant with his child! certainly takes the rosy tint away . . .

Sorry. Not very helpful I know. I really hope you follow your heart, although it can be hard at first, it will also be exactly right for you. Take care.

libb,

Was interesting to read this about your dh, had you been together long? Was is the fact that your heart skipped a beat the minute you saw dp? and with dh it was the same old sameness.

I think have confused love with lust although like being with boss, he can be very short with people and can turn from Mr. really nice guy to ordering people including his own father who infact lives in the marital home..

It's not so much the way I don't feel about dh as I love him to bits and would never leave him, I'm his second wife and we've been together for a while; it's just the way my boss looks at me, quizzically and just looks straight at me, with eyes not moving off face (staring a bit...but nice)..

Did you have any of this with your dp and is that why you are with him? You don't have to say just interested in the attraction thingyamagigby.

libb,

Forgot to say that have known boss for nearly 2 years and the attraction is just the same, if not more so than when I first clapped eyes on him at my interview..nature has run its cause I like him, he's attractive but that's it, always was...just wanted to see if anyone else had had a similar experience as always good to talk about these things.

You see my friend has been married for 7 years and always talks about the chemistry, I know she's not lying..it's her second husband and she's lucky!..but I am really dh is pretty gorgeous really, you can't have it all!

Hi there. I honestly think the chemistry lasting is pretty rare. Whatever you feel initially, when you've spent a few years with someone all those quirky little things just become totally annoying.
I seem to have been in this situation a few times with relationships that start with a bang but fizzle out big time after a few years.
So I'm disillusioned but hoping to make the best of what I've got.
I do understand how fantastic it feels when you fancy someone, but reality is never how you imagine. & I wouldn't think much of someone who left their wife & baby for me!

troll
troll
troll

WHY IS SHE A TROLL???

why indeed???

I have feelings for someone else and yes the feelings are AMAZING!!!!!!!! that doesn't make me a troll........

or anyone else

Someone's done the 'troll police' thing on another thread too.

WHAT IS A TROLL? Please inform obviously troll-like person!

I think a troll refers to a hoax poster, someone posting just to get a reaction

A troll is someone who makes stuff up or causes trouble.

good, getting paranoid. I didn't think I said anything controversial & was a bit worried there.
a troll is someone who writes stuff just to stir up trouble, i believe.