Autism...?

[Hawkmoon269]

It's very important that I start by saying that I'm not trying to upset anyone or cause any offence. Please don't read anything into my question that's not there!

But aibu to not understand why so many people on mn seem to have children who are autistic or on the autistic spectrum?

I have 2 (young) children. One is at a large state primary school. Neither have any friends or classmates who are autistic. None of our family friends are. None of my dc's friend's siblings are. We go to lots of groups (all inclusive things ) and no autistic children (or siblings that I know of). In my student days I nannied for a boy with aspergers. That's it - my sum total of people I know/ have met with children affected.

I've met lots of children with other sn, but it feels like on mn every other poster has a child on the autistic spectrum.

As I understand it, the definition isn't too clear with very high functioning autism (ie people "on the scale" but only just. That was my understanding from about 10 years ago - I'm sure research has moved on since then!

Anyway, not trying to be controversial - just genuinely curious. What do you think?

YOU were the one who said your nephew was not called names
YOU were the one who said your nehpew is called (often) a spaz

When YOU reconcile those two comments, I might stop feeling so negative towards you.

Haven't read the whole thread, so apologies if I'm repeating what others have said.

It's not necessarily obvious. DS1 is autistic (high functioning, has Aspergers). It was obvious to me and a couple of others who know him well that he was different so I sought a diagnosis. Those who don't see him often don't notice as he can be articulate and is very academically advanced for his age, so they comment on that rather than the fact that he is socially awkward and avoids talking to the other children. I had to explain to parents of several children in his class when he had a complete meltdown at his birthday party due to a balloon popping! (I don't think we'll be doing a birthday party for him again, he had asked for one because his little brother had recently had one, but being the centre of attention was too much for him and a balloon bursting just tipped him over the edge!)

The difference between him and others his age gets more noticeable as he gets older though (He is 6). I haven't gone round broadcasting it and in fact he doesn't know he's on the autistic spectrum afaik. I think he does realise others aren't quite like him, but he just seems to think everyone else is stupid because they don't think in such a rigidly logical way as he does!!

I said:
"My nephew has been called all sorts of names. Spaz being veeeery common sadly"

So your problem with that is...?

I don't know which bit of ONE OF MY NEPHEWS DIED you didn't understand. If you think my life will ever be "perfectly pleasant" after that then you are clearly devoid of compassion.

You know what, whatever I say you'll twist it to suit your hate-filled little rants.

You have tried to make this personal. Well done, I'm angry enough to retaliate. Now you enjoy your summer in the garden picking cyber fights. I'll get on with my life and will just ignore anything else you say. Looks like mnhq are doing a good job helping me do that already!

Thank you (again) to the many posters who have written very interesting and reasoned posts. Your children are lucky to have you.

And just in case anyone else is unclear on where I stand with regards to sn... My nephew is perfect. And he has sn. And he is perfect. I couldn't love him any more. He is perfect just as my (nt) children are perfect. Can't say it any clearer than that really!

OK, OP.. I think maybe you have memory loss... so let me remind you:

I have 2 (young) children. One is at a large state primary school. Neither have any friends or classmates who are autistic. None of our family friends are.

So those two nephews that appeared later.... they don't count as family??????

The Nephew you forgot to mention in the OP and who you said was never called names, lately has been (commonly) called SPAZ.

DO you need help?

ANd, no, I'm not going to let this go. You can report me if you like. Perhaps this time you could report me for being extra vigilant on what people write?

twolittlemonkeys Thank you so much for your post. Goes a long way to explaining how complex autism is

Sorry about the angry posts above yours!

|Your turn, I do believe.

My nephew isn't autistic. My nephew who died wasn't autistic. Want to retract your last post?

Nope. YOu don't have a clue what you are posting about.

When you are the MOTHER of a child with SN, you will know what I'm talking about.

You don't seem any happier than me.

I think you'd appreicate it alot more if you had kids. But you don't. wonder whrther that's the problem?

Ah, Hawk, You are such a charmer.

Hawk

put the stick down now, yeah?

how many apologies and explanations about how and why a parent of a DC with SN will fight and defend their patch do you need?

please don't hide the thread either, you were going to learn something, remember?

As I said, you can hit the 'off' button' I can't

Point proved.

Amberleaf

FWIW I didn't mean it as a dismissal of your post.

I know that you say that you 'cannot see any other way it was meant' but, whilst I appreciate that is quite a polite way of calling me a liar, it does not actually make it true.

You can interpret my posts any way you want. But whilst you can think i was aiming something at you that doesn't actually make it true.

worry p.s. I am dead interested in autism, as long as I don't actually have to, you know, deal with them. Cos they're a bit odd, aren't they.

Where did the op write anything along those lines?

I've reread the op and still can't see how anyone could take that offensively, unless they were deliberately trying to be offended.

worry you are extremely angry. I am aware from your own thread that you have a lot going on with your husband at the moment and really, really struggling with your son. It seems likely to me that your anger is coming out here. Its fair enough that it needs to come out but you do seem to be taking it out on the op which is not.