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Original poster

Do you consider it morally wrong to...

122 replies

emkana · 05/03/2006 21:37

... agree to go on a date with a married man?

My friend went out the other night and ended up kissing a man who confessed to her that he was married. At the end of the evening they exchanged e/mail addresses, now he's been in touch to say he would like to see her again.

Do you consider it morally wrong to agree to meet this man? Personally I feel that I wouldn't want to see him really considering that he's willing to do this to his wife.

OP posts:

paolosgirl · 06/03/2006 10:55

Both in the wrong. He's betraying his wife's trust, and your friend is happy to do that to another woman? Shame on them both, frankly...tell them to grow up.

LIZS · 06/03/2006 13:09

Think it is wrong regardless of children being involved or not, but their relationship has less likelihood of a happy future if his time, energy and money is committed to his family whether he ultimately chooses to remain in the marriage or not. If he doesn't honour that, is he really the kind of man she wants to be involved with anyway ?

Troutpout · 06/03/2006 13:46

Haven't read the thread
but i consider it morally wrong to date such a twat who would do this to his wife

QE2 · 06/03/2006 13:51

"Takes the stance that it's his problem not hers..........."

Women who think that dating a married man and it's not their problem want lining up against a wall and shooting. Do women like this actually enjoy breaking up other women's marriages then?

Feistybird · 06/03/2006 13:55

Of course it's wrong.

Even as a 15 yo schoolgirl with a secret crush on a man whose kids I babysat for, (and it was secret, I was far to gauche to flirt or tease), when he tried it on with me I told him in no uncertain terms that I was not interested in married men.

saadia · 06/03/2006 15:15

I consider it morally wrong and unwise.

desperateSCOUSEwife · 06/03/2006 15:19

morally, physically and emotionally wrong imo

Marina · 06/03/2006 15:23

Definitely morally wrong to do it. But you may have to decide whether to call time on your friendship with her over this issue emkana :(
The hardest thing I have ever done is continue a friendship with someone who got involved with a married man. She needed help more than condemnation, possibly like your friend.

SoupDragon · 06/03/2006 15:28

Agree that married person is worse, Batters. But knowingly entering into a relationship with someone who has a wife (and children?) at home is indefensible IMO.

batters · 06/03/2006 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WideWebWitch · 06/03/2006 15:38

I have an ex friend who is an ex friend for this reason, among others. Her married lover first slept with her when his wife was pregnant with their first in 1997. I remember it because I was pregnant too. I never met him but got utterly sick of hearing how he would leave 'except it would hurt the children' blah blah. And he and his wife never had sex. Oh except that one time when they conceived their second child. But ex friend and bastardface were on a short break at the time. So that's ok then. It's still going on, nearly 10 years later.

So yes, it's wrong. The man is MORE wrong since he's the one who promised but she still shouldn't do it imo.

jellyjelly · 06/03/2006 15:41

I think this is horrid too, cheating and she knows it.

JennyLee · 06/03/2006 15:59

oh its wrong, unless he is separated from his wife but if kids are involved its pretty vile thing to do

Original poster

emkana · 06/03/2006 20:10

She's going to meet him in a restaurant tomorrow night.

Oh dear, it will all end in tears me thinks...

OP posts:

JennyLee · 06/03/2006 20:18

that sucks but there is not much you can do about it I guess

Bugsy2 · 06/03/2006 20:29

He is in the wrong & she is undervaluing herself. If she really has fallen for this man (although how that is possible after one date, I'm not sure) then she should tell him to get back in touch after he has separated from his wife.
Her involvement is only going to end in heartache for her. He may well be a serial extra-marital shagger (there are sooooooooooo many of them around) and if she is looking for a relationship then she's not going to find it with him.

Passionflower · 06/03/2006 21:48

Haven't read all the posts but yes I do think that is morally wrong.

BonyM · 06/03/2006 21:52

Yes - it is morally wrong.

Moreover, your friend is almost certainly going to end up hurt

Tanzie · 06/03/2006 22:13

OK I am probably going to get shot down in flames for some of this. I would say, if he is married, then no way. If he was living with someone, IN MY YOUTH I would have said that he was fair game as to me then, living together = not fully committed. And I did go out with (euphemism for have sex with) some men who were shacked up with other women. I lived with someone for 4 years and wasn't faithful to them - as far as I was concerned I didn't see why I shouldn't be unfaithful as he wasn't committed enough to me to marry me.

Does that all sound quite mad?

batters · 07/03/2006 09:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueshoes · 07/03/2006 11:44

oooo, Tanzie, I don't know. Flatmates, yes, I agree, but living together .....

Passionflower · 07/03/2006 13:10

I reckon that one depends on the circumstances Tanzie.

Have to admit that DH was still living with his ex when we got together, but they weren't together anymore. She was going out and staying the night with other men and they were only still in the same house because he couldn't move out because he was on her housing licence. DH was completely open about it with her when we got together.

I think if the cohabiting party is being completely open and honest with their cohabitee it is a lot different than if they are sneaking about behind their back IYSWIM.

Runs away....

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