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Original poster

Do you consider it morally wrong to...

122 replies

emkana · 05/03/2006 21:37

... agree to go on a date with a married man?

My friend went out the other night and ended up kissing a man who confessed to her that he was married. At the end of the evening they exchanged e/mail addresses, now he's been in touch to say he would like to see her again.

Do you consider it morally wrong to agree to meet this man? Personally I feel that I wouldn't want to see him really considering that he's willing to do this to his wife.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 05/03/2006 21:55

I did hold back Grin

Original poster
emkana · 05/03/2006 21:59
Grin
OP posts:
blueshoes · 05/03/2006 22:19

emkana, tell her not to sh_t on the sisterhood. What goes around comes around ...

expatinscotland · 05/03/2006 22:21

yes. plus i'd have zero respect for him.

Rhubarb · 05/03/2006 22:30

My bro is married with 3 daughters. Right now he goes through a woman a week. They all know he is married, his wife is going through hell, but she stays because she keeps hoping that he will change his mind and stay with her. She dresses up for him, does her best, but still he goes off with these other women. He knows what I think of the whole situation, but if I ever met these women, some of whom have the cheek to call his home number and speak to his children, I would slap them.

They are contributing to the break up of a family. Ok, the marriage is all but over, but they are just rubbing salt in the wounds. He is not blameless by any means, but God help the little tarts if I ever get my hands on them too!

Heathcliffscathy · 05/03/2006 22:33

it's his immorality. he is the one in the commited relationship. but it's always about the scarlet woman isn't it? sigh

Original poster
emkana · 05/03/2006 22:34

Sophable, I think you are right, but by agreeing to go out with him she condones his immorality, doesn't she? And that's wrong in itself, isn't it?

OP posts:
lockets · 05/03/2006 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 05/03/2006 22:37

i was lied to by a man who told me he was divorced - he definitely wasn't living with his wife - but they were really only separated. i found out by chance that he was still seeing her.

you can bet i dumped his book ass pdq

Heathcliffscathy · 05/03/2006 22:37

yes. and she is a plonker as it can only end in tears for her...unless she is into no strings frisson like affair....in which case....

listen, honestly and truthfully...if dh had an affair it would be him i blamed/was angry with/had issue with...not the woman that 'enticed' away from me...as i think that is a fallacy....men are not idiots, nor are they so weak they cannot resist...if there is something wrong with the relationship they are in, if they are fundamentally f*cked up in some way, then they may stray...this whole thing of 'stealing' men is just bollox imo.

lockets · 05/03/2006 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Heathcliffscathy · 05/03/2006 22:41

totally fair enough lockets.

Mytwopenceworth · 05/03/2006 22:52

If a man cheats on his wife it is 100% his fault. The 'other' woman has not

a) stolen him
b) corrupted him
c) enticed him
d) bewitched him
e) held him up at gunpoint

Blame the man who is cheating. He did EXACTLY what he wanted to do. I hate all this hate the other woman stuff because it gives men the opportunity to shift the blame and to not take responsibility for their actions. 'i couldnt help myself'.

So if you find youreself in that situation, don't hate the 'other woman' - shake her hand and thank her, she's shown you that your husband is a lying worthless dick-led, verminous fleabitten sewer rat who needs a steel-toecapped boot to the bollocks applied hourly.

lockets · 05/03/2006 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jenniferjuniper · 05/03/2006 23:04

dp and i were both separated from xps when we met - dp for longer than i and i still agonised to to whether to go out with him .Absolutely couldnt go out with a man who was still with his wife

lockets · 05/03/2006 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 05/03/2006 23:05

Well said MTP.
Exactly!!!

Original poster
emkana · 05/03/2006 23:06

To throw another question into the ring...

does it make a difference whether there are children in the marriage?

OP posts:
lockets · 05/03/2006 23:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 05/03/2006 23:11

Hmmm,lockets,that blurs the issue slightly.
I must say though that blaming women for men's misbehaviour is deeply weirdly prevalent.

jenniferjuniper · 05/03/2006 23:12

emkana - think its even more heartless to wreck a marriage with kids but i didnt have kids with my xh who cheated on me and at the time it didnt feel any less painful
lockets - i have never thanked the other woman and never ever would .God -your mum must have been devastated .

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/03/2006 23:13

In those cases i think you are right lockets.

Its because the betrayal is in both relationships, whereas in the example from the OP the woman doesnt know the wife so its different circumstances really.

I happen to agree with MTPW generally on this though. With exceptions such as you stated, then it is 50/50.

MarsOnLife · 05/03/2006 23:14

yes!

lockets · 05/03/2006 23:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mytwopenceworth · 05/03/2006 23:15

Why angry with me lockets? Your attack response was quite, well, 'wow'! even to lash at someone else simply for saying they agree with me!! I am simply of the opinion that a man is 100% responsible for his actions in choosing to betray his wife, the other woman, whoever she is, does not make him betray his wife and shouldnt be blamed for his decision to do so.

Thats not to say it makes her a wonderful human being, its just to not shift blame that belongs with him, onto her.