Why are oldtimers so unwelcoming to newbies

[NameChanged123]

I am a new member of mumsnet and was really pleased to find it. Unfortunately I have found that most of you oldtimers aren't very welcoming to newbies. Everytime I post on a thread I get ignored, you oldtimers only reply to each other. Sometimes I post on a thread and it just stops all together. I just think it would be nice to make newbies feel more welcome

Saggarmakersbottomknockek, who were you before I had to cut and paste your name because it was to long and complicated? I've never been anything other than Flip. I've just been absent for a while.

I kill threads with startling regularity and somewhere there is one where I got precisely zero replies. This same conversation happened about a year ago and someone started a thread about what lovely things mnetters had done for each other. If you can find it, after you've read it it'll be clear why mn seems to be cliquey. it isn't cliquey, I don't think, but a lot of people have a history and will naturally chat to each other. And it's the way of the world, I think, that the first few tentative posts get overlooked (I hesitate to say ignored).

Flip - Potty previously (and currently as I've not yet decided to sick with saggy) before that Luckymum.

Are you going to stick around?

I'm still relatively new - have never felt ignored, TBH, have found most people very welcoming.

If I find myself being ignored on a thread - it's usually because:-

a) I'm being very boring

or

b) There's a hugely interesting thread elsewhere that people are looking at / posting on.

I think you've just got to get on with it and perservere. And develop a thick skin and not take things personally.

oh killing threads left right and centre!! Maybe because I jsut don't have a clue... Terribly excited to hear from cod though to see what this is all about.

The Twig gives excellent advice.

Every site has its 'flavour', surely? This isn't Babyworld and it isn't always nicey-nicey.

I don't know if it's just me, but there do seem to have been a lot of newbies recently...has there been a recruitment drive? It is quite hard to keep up.

doormat here
I must admit I noticed this, that is why i started the thread newbies and lurkers come out wherever you are

some members of mn can be very cliquey

Threadkilling is just the norm whether you are new or old.
Remember this is an open forum and dont feel pushed out or not able to contribute
just be yourself
and dont take nothing personally until it applies to you iykwim.
happy posting

i really want to know about the pirate sex women???!!!

wannabe you will know cod when you see her, hse tpyes liek thsi!!!

Luckmum is what I remember you as. I might stick around. I've been entertained today and I needed it very much. Just waiting for JanH to pop in and see if she remembers me.

Nice to have you back then Flip

LOL Twiglett!

Everything has been said already as far as i can tell.

Welcome to MN NC123

Can anybody pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease tell me about the pirate sex women, see what you have to do nc-123 is to keep badgering people til they answer you!!

wonder if the influx of newbies has anything to do with that programme that was on discovery health where justine and Carry were giving advice to parents? That was where I heard of mn -

nah .. they're in the new mothercare catalogue

brought the tone right down if you ask me

Hi NameChanged123 I have to admit I had days when I felt a bit like that too with some of my initial posts but this was no different to my RL experiences as a new parent and trying to get to know people in different settings such as M&T groups etc.

I think naturally people are a little wary of a new face and although can be polite may seem a little off. IN my experience it's better to persevere as once you're part of the furniture you are more likely to have more contact with the "oldtimers" and have a place - earning your stripes .

Mumsnet being what it is there have been quite a few old trolls and troublemakers claiming to be newbies so that's where some of the mistrust and general behaviour may stem from - again same as in RL - you get to know the jokers, the exhibitionists, the shy ones, you learn the in jokes, the patter and the atmosphere. before you know it you'll be spending far too much time here!

FWIW I must have joined at quite a good time (still relatively new though) as everyone was really lovely to me - keep at it.

JanH is doing very well on the "how much do you drink thread". Am I wannabe or did that go right over my head?

There do seem to be lots of new names - have MN told us how many newbies have joined as a result of these adverts?

Perrier, that sounds about right for JanH!

Love and knuckles - brilliant.

Twiglett speaks the truth (except re DS2 when she's pissed )

Welcome, NC123 - go on, tell us who you are

And the archive is down so we can't search for Titania so can't someone please explain her to us?

switched off the archive jco so cant search.

Try searching later in archives for

Pirate Noises during Sex or similar

Also search for Cats and Footballs

I have only been around since Christmas-ish and I haven't found the site or its members unwelcoming at all. There are a couple of people who don't like me, but that's not because I'm new:). Generally I've found mose people very inclusive and welcoming. I can't believe how much support and advice and kindness I've received from people who don't have any reason to give a sh*t what I am going through.

There are of course jokes and tongue-in-cheek grumbles about being overrun with newbies. It doesn't bother me one bit.

The only thing I don't like is the word "newbie". It gets up my nose for some reason.

Me too Greensleeves, I hate that word.
Used it myself earlier, but I was trying to fit in.
I suggest 'new bugs' like in Molesworth.

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=7&threadid=115727&stamp=060102004800\pirate sex}