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Original poster

exh has got an age 18 PS2 game for ds's to play at his house. Realistically, is there anything I can do?

33 replies

lilibet · 20/02/2006 12:42

He has got them Grand Theft Auto 3, they are 9 and 12. This is an extract form the Amazon review

It has to be said that GTA 3 fully warrants its 18 certificate, dealing as it does with mob warfare, indiscriminate murders, auto crimes, prostitution and more. The language gets a little "fruity" from time to time and you can't help but wince as you watch innocents get in the way of a good firefight.

They go every other weekend and spend all their time either on the playstation or at McDonalds. This game is incredibly violent and inbetween the car chases and murders you can get out of your car nad have sex with a prostitute.

I can't speak to him as he refuses to speak to me/deletes e mails etc.

I don't want to make it that they are going to lie to me about what they do when they are with him.

Stopping them going seems pointless, when woudl I let them go again? And I'm never happy with stopping them from seeing him.

Any suggestions?

OP posts:
mistressmiggins · 20/02/2006 12:44

I dont know - I fully sympathise as this worries me in the future - my DS is only 4 and he has already seen such games at home until I pointed out to H that he shouldnt see such things

dont see what you can do except politely ask him not to let the children play - men dont see the violence like we do

Miaou · 20/02/2006 12:53

At 9 and 12, do you think that, if you explained your objections to the game to them, they would take it on board and not play it? Would they listen to reasoned argument and respect your views? Or would they (as I suspect most 9 and 12 year olds would) think, wahey, mum doesn't want us to do this but she can't stop us, so we'll do it!!

Sadly I don't think there is any chance of you stopping them from being offered it to play by your ex. All you can do is explain to them why you would prefer it if they didn't play it and hope that they take that on board. Puts them kind of in the "middle" though.

sorry that's probably no help at all.

nzshar · 20/02/2006 13:29

ahhhhh lilibet we have the same problem but a slightly different variation. I have a 12 tear old dss. His mum allows him to have these games at her house but his dad and I refuse to have them here. He asks us why he cant have them here (is with us every weekend) we explain to him that we dont think that he is old enough to have these kinds of games etc. Even though his dad and me DO NOT condone what his mother does there isnt much we can do about it either. It is her right as a parent to decide what morals she sets in her house, just as it is our right to have opposite views. My advice is just to state plainly and clearly why you do not like them and that you will not have them in your house until they are of the approprate age.
HTH

nzshar · 20/02/2006 13:29

12 year old suppose to be

Enid · 20/02/2006 13:47

grand theft auto is incredibly violent and aggressive and full of swearing

I'd be very unhappy tbh

Greensleeves · 20/02/2006 14:43

I would be incandescent if they were mine. Is it illegal for them to play it/see it, or only to buy it? I would be wanting to get the police/social services to visit him and frighten him into seeing sense. But then, I am a hotheaded idiot

Redtartanlass · 20/02/2006 14:45

grand theft auto is a nasty vile game, which is why teenage lads love it. I don't think there is anything you can do about them seeing it, you will just have to explain that it's just like a cartoon and not real.

Notmuch help I'm afraid, but do feel for you. God knows what I would have done in that situation, but you're right stopping them seeing their dad would be wrong.

lou33 · 20/02/2006 14:47

ds1's favourite game is house of the dead

he's 7

Greensleeves · 20/02/2006 14:52

What's House of the Dead like?

lou33 · 20/02/2006 14:56

basically full of zombies having their heads blown off, and monsters needing killing

he's still a pretty well balanced little boy tho

NotQuiteCockney · 20/02/2006 15:01

House of the Dead is less worrisome than GTA, I think. House of the Dead is just a shoot-'em-up. GTA pretends to be real life.

(Personally, I prefer Typing of the Dead, which teaches typing skills while you kill the zombies.)

Greensleeves · 20/02/2006 15:01

Did he get given it as a pressie or something?

WideWebWitch · 20/02/2006 15:09

Oh god, this is awful lilibet, I know the feeling, ex dh, lovely as he is, let 7yo ds watch Van effing Helsing fgs. I was very cross. But I think (and hope) he's really GTA is totally inappropriate. Is there anyone who has any influence on him? His mother? Do your boys like it or are they just going along with it because he wants them to play it? Could you send alternative games that they really love? Pro evolution Soccer or Star Wars or something. I wonder whether it's actually an offence, might be worth finding out just in case being reasonable doesn't work.

lou33 · 20/02/2006 15:14

NQC, he used a gun until it broke, lol

WideWebWitch · 20/02/2006 15:14

according to this forum no action would be taken or offence committed, what a PITA

Greensleeves · 20/02/2006 15:22

Oh dear WWW it looks as though you are right. It's so shockingly irresponsible.

NotQuiteCockney · 20/02/2006 16:24

Lou33, I don't know if you can still get Typing of the Dead, but it's for the PC, and great fun.

I played it in arcades in Tokyo, years ago, and fell in love with it.

Original poster
lilibet · 20/02/2006 16:29

Incandescent sums it up pretty good.

Asked dd (17) how she thinks that her Grandma would react if I wrote to her, she presumes that it will jsut get ds2 into trouble for telling me.

Bloody nutcases, whole sodding family!

And this man is a Director of HR for the NHS!!!

They have loads of games here, mainly football, racing, Simpsons, all appropriate and they can take any of thme to his but prefer forbidden fruit.

They are now the children at school who have the age 18 games that your children come home and tell you about and you blame the parents!

OP posts:
cupcakes · 20/02/2006 16:30

Agree that you really should try to intervene. I like WWW's suggestion of getting alternative games. Give your ds's the benefit of the doubt and treat them like mature individuals (!) - explain to them why you don't like it and why it is inappropriate. You never know, they may pay you some heed. Especially if they have a nice new star wars game.

Pixiefish · 20/02/2006 16:30

GTA3- Is that the one where there's a prostitute and you ca do the business in the back of the car with her?

One of the GTA 3's has this feature.

tbh- I'd go ape if my dh did this

cupcakes · 20/02/2006 16:31

sorry, x posts.

cupcakes · 20/02/2006 16:32

tbh I don't think it matters if it gets ds2 into trouble. He shouldn't be playing it and he needs to understand. Even if it kicks up a stink and makes things unpleasant.

Original poster
lilibet · 20/02/2006 16:33

Yep, that's the one!

I could cheerfully tear him limb from limb

OP posts:
Pixiefish · 20/02/2006 16:33

lilibet- i'd threaten him with social services

Greensleeves · 20/02/2006 16:37

Is there anything legally you can do? It seems wrong that there isn't... it's so blatantly stupid and inappropriate. I can't understand parents who think this is OK.