exh has got an age 18 PS2 game for ds's to play at his house. Realistically, is there anything I can do?

[lilibet]

He has got them Grand Theft Auto 3, they are 9 and 12. This is an extract form the Amazon review

It has to be said that GTA 3 fully warrants its 18 certificate, dealing as it does with mob warfare, indiscriminate murders, auto crimes, prostitution and more. The language gets a little "fruity" from time to time and you can't help but wince as you watch innocents get in the way of a good firefight.

They go every other weekend and spend all their time either on the playstation or at McDonalds. This game is incredibly violent and inbetween the car chases and murders you can get out of your car nad have sex with a prostitute.

I can't speak to him as he refuses to speak to me/deletes e mails etc.

I don't want to make it that they are going to lie to me about what they do when they are with him.

Stopping them going seems pointless, when woudl I let them go again? And I'm never happy with stopping them from seeing him.

Any suggestions?

If my DH bought a game like that for my DS I'd go belistic, but tbh it's as a previous poster said,you do things a certain way iin your house and your xh does things another way. It dooesn't make it right, but stopping your kids seeing their dad definitely wouldn't be the answer.

And tbh your ds1 is most likely not the only child in his school of that age who plays GTA. If you stopped your kids seeing your xh they would most likely be able to play the game at friends' houses anyway as not all parents are so particular about what the kids are and aren't allowed to play.

Not agreeing that your xh is ok buying this game, but just trying to see it from the kids' side as well.

With GTA it's not so much the swearing that would bother me, after all, you only have to walk down the street or through the local park or stand outside a supermarket these days to hear the f word spoken, even if you don't use that kind of language in your house, the kids are inevitably exposed to it in the playground, especially at secondary school age, but GTA is incredibly violent, I certainly would have issue with a 9-year-old playing it.

But what would you suggest doing legally though? It's illegal for shops to sell videogames that have an 18 certificate to children under 18, but an adult can buy them, it's simply not possible to bring an enforceable law in to say that no child under 18 is allowed to play a videogame that has an 18 certificate. For one you could never prove it, the average age of the video gamer is 33, if such a law existed and you reported your ex to the police, they might go round there, your ex would say "yes officer, I own the game GTA4, I play it regularly". Where would you go from there? Have kids interviewed by the police? go to court? and for what, playing a videogame? And the same goes for going to social services, if you reported your ex to social services, what would you expect them to do? open a child protection file and have your ex investigated? and then what, stop him from seeing his kids because he lets them play games that aren't suitable?

I don't agree that it's right that their dad has let them play these games,but tbh I do think threatening him with the law/social services is a very harsh response, and could potentially do more damage than the game itself. If you've brought up your kids well, and I have no reason to believe that you haven't, then they're not likely to go out murdering people off the back of a videogame, and if they only play it when they're at their dad's, they're not constantly being exposed to it, so it's unlikely t have a lasting or damaging effect on them.

Have e mailed him this, but he probably won't read it

"This is taken from a review of the game that you have bought the boys

It has to be said that GTA 3 fully warrants its 18 certificate, dealing as it does with mob warfare, indiscriminate murders, auto crimes, prostitution and more. The language gets a little "fruity" from time to time and you can't help but wince as you watch innocents get in the way of a good firefight.

I'm sure that you were unaware of the content of the game when you bought it and I will gladly reimburse you whatever you paid for it if you would please let me have it so that I can ensure that it is destroyed."

How nice and polite is that??

Good for you lilibet. Is he usually reasonable? Do you think he will co-operate? I hope so.

Well i for one think that an email like that is just going to get his back up. Sorry lilibet but surely its not the fact that he has the game....cos thats up to him ....its the fact that he allows your ds' to play it. Asking him for the game so that you can destroy it is just asking for trouble ...or to be ignored, which is what you think he will do.

lilibet, I was thinking about this this pm and wondering what else you could do. I think you have to think psychological warfare rather than threats - they will only make him keener to defy you by the sound of it. I don't quite know what though, I'll post if I think of anything.

no no no don't listen to these cryers of crap.

they all say that these games are horrible pieces of crap and are played by the devil himself... have any of you actually played gta3? it's about as far removed from realism as
charlie brown !

and any kid who is dumb enough to re-enact scenes from the game should be taken away by social services and thrown into the bottom of a well...

redtartanlass hypocrite hyprocrite hypocrite !

I dare some yummy mummy from the bowels of chelsea to condone my words, say I don't know what i'm saying and EVERY video game is innapropriote,violent and stupid,

cmon ladies, i'm waiting...

I don't think you want your words 'condoning', really, do you? Did you mean 'correcting'?