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Original poster

I want another baby, do I need my head read?

57 replies

pie · 03/12/2003 20:17

Ok, well I know Anastacia is only 8 weeks old and I know I had the most awful pregnancy, and I know I'm likely to again....but I'm broody and so is DH.

We don't have the finances to have another child (well we didn't with Anastacia but what with the failed coil and me not wanting an abortion that decision was taken out of my hands)...BUT when we do I want to have another baby.

My question is has anyone else out there, knowing that they will have at least 9 months of pain and illness, deliberately got pregnant? How do you plan/cope. I know this is probably a way off for now, but I can't help but wonder.

OP posts:
sis · 04/12/2003 12:43

I was fine until i saw the photos of your dd Pie - now I'm broody too!

janh · 04/12/2003 12:51

pie, sorry to hear you can't walk again - not for too long I hope - but Anastacia is just lovely! What a nice consolation for you!
(Why is she having cranial osteopathy though?)

tallulah · 04/12/2003 18:06

pie, beautiful photo!!

Tinker · 04/12/2003 18:59

How cute is she please?

pie - you're not old are you? I'm sure you've got plenty of time yet. Don't think you're mad though.

Tinker · 04/12/2003 19:00

How cute is she please?

pie - you're not old are you? I'm sure you've got plenty of time yet. Don't think you're mad though.

Original poster
pie · 04/12/2003 20:33

No I'm not too old

27....BUT I don't want to have a massive gap between children. By the time I was 20, and my brother was 18 my little sister was 10...and my mum has always felt that she would have prefered to have not left such a large gap. I guess I too would like them to all be reaching adulthood at the same sort of time. I have things I want to do, places to go, don't you know

But I worry that it wouldn't be fair on my family to knowingly put them throw what will be a very hard pregnancy. I will all but redundant in any practical sense. Plus I feel that I lost 9 months of my life, to mentally prepare for house arrest is something I'm not sure I know how to do. So although I'm not about to have Irish Twins, I want to see if I can begin to get my head round it now.

OR resign myself to no more babies.

And yes she is yummy Thank you!

PS janh, I'm taking (or rather my mum is) to the CO as she has colic/reflux type problems which are nearly completely better.

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elliott · 04/12/2003 20:43

pie I can't help at all with your dilemma, but I just wanted to say how pleased I am that your dh has been converted by Anastacia - wasn't he very ambivalent during the pregnancy?

Original poster
pie · 04/12/2003 20:49

Yes elliot, thanks for remembering. I don't think he could imagine how much he would love her. Problem is he wants more.

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WideWebWitch · 05/12/2003 20:05

Pie, she is totally delicious! Maybe it's not a bad idea...

tinyfeet · 05/12/2003 20:26

27 years old! So much time. Doesn't have to be your last, but I do think you should really think long and hard about putting off another pregnancy for a little bit. . . Now my question is - were you using the Mirena coil?

Original poster
pie · 05/12/2003 21:38

nope it was an ordinary coil I got pregnant with

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Original poster
pie · 05/12/2003 21:39

www. I'm so jealous you got to call your little one Ava, it was one of my names if DH had been remotely interested in a compromise.

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tinyfeet · 05/12/2003 23:13

Pie, Anastacia is lovely - are you calling her Ana or Staci or anything else for short? Just curious. Also, are you confusing being broody with being horny? I recall you were horny within a few weeks after giving birth!!

august24 · 06/12/2003 00:07

I was right there with you Pie, after the birth of my second daughter, I wanted 3 more! Now that I am at the tail end of toddlerhood(almost pottytrained, no more stroller) I do not think I want any more. It is how mothernature tricks us into having more babies!

emmatmg · 06/12/2003 07:05

I had an easy PG and labour so different to yours pie, but since having DS3 I have realised that I would go on having babies until mothernature said no more. If DH said 'lets have another' tomorrow I'd jump at the chance( and on him) and our lovely little man is only 10 weeks.

zebra · 06/12/2003 11:19

I wouldn't go through it again, if I were you, Pie. Have you thought about fostering, instead?

Original poster
pie · 06/12/2003 12:10

zebra, for various reasons I know I wouldn't qualify for fostering and I KNOW DH wouldn't want to, he finds it very very very hard to connect with other peoples children. Funny you should mention that as when I was younger I always wanted to foster/adopt, mind you I always wanted to raise children by myself, I never thought I would find a man I wanted to have children with.

Oh well. I guess I'm thinking along the lines fio2 mentioned. Its only 9/12 months of my life and I'm a mother for life.

I was talking to DH last night about this and he said that he would consider getting a vasectomy NOW. So maybe this is all wishful thinking anyway

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lavender1 · 12/12/2003 21:43

Pie, have just read your message. You said had the most awful pregnancy and know will again. Can I just say that my first pregnancy went on and off for 2 days and was excruciating, as only had tens; my second was a lot quicker, I knew what the pain was second time around, rather than first time wondering if it was the start and it would get much worse...I sort of planned the second birth by saying would be good to have another child so close in age and wouldn't have to go back to nappies when 5 years old. My dh wants another baby, and we have financial commitments, which we didn't have when we had first baby (although on lower income), can I just say...it sounds a bit cleche but follow your instincts, because at the end of the day a child just wants to be loved by its parents and have good quality time with people who care for him/her. It doesn't really matter if they don't have the in toys, what they need is time with you and dh, and I'm sure you have relatives who have toys and stuff, and hand me downs...I am the 4th of 5 children and I had a lot of fun as a child, very little money...but fun....When it does come to after school activities that can get quite expensive then maybe as they will be 6+ then you might be working part-time and have more income (I work part-time and we are better off now than when was sahm, and daughter does horse riding)...Don't think too far ahead..follow you gut reaction...Hope have been some help.

Original poster
pie · 12/12/2003 21:46

Thanks lavender, the births were fine, quite enjoyed the second one actually

Its the year of immobility thats the problem

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lavender1 · 12/12/2003 21:53

Pie, I didn't realise you had 2 children, do you have twins or something?

Original poster
pie · 12/12/2003 21:55

er no!!!

DD1 is 4 DD2 is 10 weeks. Me thinks there is some confusion

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Bekki · 12/12/2003 21:56

i thought you only had the one too.

Bekki · 12/12/2003 21:58

Until I read your other thread must ahve been the way you worded it. Has you dh ahd any more thoughts about having another?

Original poster
pie · 12/12/2003 21:58

Really? I'm always posting about DD1 in the behaviour threads etc!

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Original poster
pie · 12/12/2003 21:59

He says he WANTS another, but doesn't think we SHOULD have another, firstly for my health and secondly because we couldn't afford it. Of course the second thing could change but the first thing won't...so we shall see!

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